All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

Is this better…?
If in one large house or flat, four (married) brothers live 
together and eat from the same pot, but their hearts are full of 
malice and hatred for one another. Each one indulges in 
backbiting the other and their wives and children are constantly 
160
at loggerheads. Is this better or if each one of the brothers live 
separately with their wives and children, but there is respect, 
honour, love and affection in each one’s heart for the other? 
One needs just to look around and it is obvious that nowadays, 
the daughters-in-law do not regard the mother-in-law as their 
mother, neither does the mother-in-law regard her daughters-in-
law as her daughters. In this situation it is difficult for them to 
live amicably together. 
In such homes, where they all live together there is so much of 
mistrust, misunderstandings and ill-feelings. 
We can fill pages and pages with examples of problems that 
can and do arise when the entire families all live together. 
Another harm
Another harm which is the consequence of living together is 
that because of the constant strife and tension in the home, the 
poor wife is beset with constant grief and stress. This naturally 
will impact negatively on her health. She will then begin to 
suffer from all sorts of ailments, such that she will not be able 
to be of proper service to her own children when they need her. 
Why does all this happen?
Simply because you (parents of the groom) have forced your 
son to live with you, in opposition to the dictates of the Shariah. 
Or because you have prevented them from living separately in 
the hope of saving some money by all living together. 
Third harm
Another great harm in allowing your married son to live with 
you is when you have smaller sons in the home, who are not yet 
married. The Hadith Shareef explicitly prohibits contact 
between sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law. In fact the Hadith 
says that a woman’s brothers-in-law are death. This severe 
warning from Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) is ignored 

---

161
because in most cases there is no hijaab between the daughter-
in-law and your other sons. She is expected to cook for them, 
do their washing, ironing, etc., etc. 
The harms of this are pretty obvious, not to mention, the wrath 
of Allaah Ta`ala being invited in that home, because of the 
flagrant transgression being perpetrated there. How can there 
ever be peace and happiness when the Laws of Allaah Ta`ala 
are being flouted? 
Fourth harm
As many sons and daughters-in-law populate your home, 
proportionately the worry and problems will increase for you. 
With each new addition there are more problems; sickness, 
arguments, birth of children, etc., etc. The more this burden is 
lightened off you, by your sons living separately, the more 
peaceful your life will become. 
Our humble suggestion is that if you are self-employed and 
have the means, then it is best to let each son establish a 
separate business. The further away each one works and lives 
from the other, the greater the bond and affection will be. We 
may think that there is goodness in all being together, but the 
associated problems, is something which experience teaches. 
So many incidents arise regarding the problems experienced by 
families that live and conduct business together. Hatred, 
jealousy and greed are inherent in all such situations.