All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

A man should appreciate his wife at every turn
This appreciation is two-fold. One is to appreciate the fact that 
she is your wife who Allaah Ta`ala has placed in your care and 
made subservient to you. Secondly, is the fact that just as you 
are a Muslim, she is also a Muslim. No one, besides Allaah 
Ta`ala knows who is more acceptable and beloved unto Allaah 
Ta`ala. Do not regard her as insignificant and degrade her, 
because in the Sight of Allaah Ta`ala, she may well be better 
and more loved by Allaah Ta`ala. 
Two qualities of women which are worthy of praise
There are two qualities of women with which they surpass men 
– their servitude and chastity. Allaah Ta`ala praises their 
chastity and simple-mindedness in the Qur`aan Majeed, with 
the words: 
ت%$ &ا ت #"ا
 
Display affection towards your wife
When the temperaments of the husband and wife do not match, 
then the husband makes this decision that since the wife does 
not agree with him or that she has no love for him, then he 
makes up a list of all her faults and complains endlessly.
We make dua that Allaah Ta`ala forgive all the sins of 
husbands and wives, through His Mercy and Bounty, and that 
He engender love and mutual affection between the spouses. 

---

95
Answer:
You had married her by your own choice, and had 
held high hopes and set high expectations of her. The fault is 
not hers but, in effect, yours. You need to lower your 
expectations of her a little, because it is you who has all the 
complaints and not her. 
1). 
Which wife is there who does not feel affected by her 
husband’s happiness or sadness? However, its manifestation 
and expression is effected in different ways by different 
individuals. Some express themselves like a drum, others like a 
tinkle of a necklace and others hide the effect in their hearts. 
No one knows what lies in the hearts. Now how can one change 
the soft tone of a necklace tinkle to sound like that of a drum? 
2). 
When you get home and do not get the grand welcome 
that you expect, then reflect a little on her condition as well. 
The poor lady was occupied and busy the entire in household 
chores. You should remain home sometimes and take charge of 
the household affairs, and experience for yourself. 
3). 
She fulfils all her duties towards you ‘like a machine’, 
you say. It sounds more like your heart is like a machine, that 
you do not appreciate all the work she does for you. You have 
(in your wife) got yourself a cook to prepare your food, a 
servant to clean the home, a laundry to attend to the clothing, a 
wet-nurse to attend to the children and a guard to look after 
your house in your absence. A house will not even operate as 
efficiently with a force of all these assistants as it would with a 
machine, and yet you do not seem to appreciate and express 
gratefulness for all this. 
4). 
Seven years is a long time, you are right, but alas, you 
have not lowered your high expectations and have remained 
oblivious and blind to all the excellences your wife had 
rendered you. If you alight from your high horse of 
expectations, perhaps you will see and understand the 
operations of the creation down here. 
96
5). 
Regardless of how many marriages you contract, as 
long as you do not alight from your high throne of expectations, 
you will never find peace ad contentment. 
6). 
You require no 
wazifah
or 
taweez
. What you do need is 
to spend some quality time with a pious servant of Allaah 
Ta`ala. When your eyes of realisation open and you awaken 
from your slumber, you will realise what a boon and benefit 
you have in your precious wife.