After the quake blind willow, sleeping woman dance dance dance

What if this really
is
Tengo’s child?
she wondered. 
That morning at the turnout on Metropolitan Expressway No
. 3 
through Tokyo, I 
didn’t pull the trigger. I really went there, and stuck the muzzle in my mouth, planning 

---

621
to die. I wasn’t afraid of death, because I was dying to save Tengo. But some higher 
power acted on me and snatched me away from death. From far away I heard a voice 
calling my name. Maybe it called me because I was pregnant? Was something trying 
to tell me of this new life inside me?
Aomame recalled the dream, and the refined older woman who put her coat on her 
to cover her nakedness. 
She got out of her silver Mercedes and gave me her light, soft 
eggshell-colored coat. She knew then that I was pregnant, and she gently protected 
me from people’s stares, the cold wind, and other vicious things
. 
This was a good sign. 
Aomame’s tight face relaxed, her expression returned to normal. 
Someone is 
watching over me, protecting me
, she believed. 
Even in this 1Q84 world, I’m not 
alone. Probably
. 
Aomame took her now cold tea over to the window. She went out to the balcony and 
sank into the garden chair so no one could spot her, and gazed out through the gaps in 
the screen at the playground. She tried to think of Tengo. For some reason, though, 
today her thoughts just wouldn’t go to him. What she saw instead was the face of 
Ayumi Nakano. Ayumi was smiling cheerfully, a totally natural, unreserved smile. 
The two of them were at a restaurant seated across from each other, drinking wine. 
They were both pretty drunk. The excellent Burgundy in their blood gently coursed 
through their bodies, giving the world around them a faint purplish tinge. 
“But still,” Ayumi said, “it seems to me that this world has a serious shortage of 
both logic and kindness.” 
“Oh well, no problem,” Aomame said. “The world’s going to end before we know 
it.” 
“Sounds like fun.” 
“And the kingdom is going to come.” 
“I can hardly wait,” Ayumi said. 
Why did I talk about the kingdom then, I wonder?
Aomame found it odd. 
Why would I 
suddenly bring up a kingdom that I don’t even believe in? And not long after that 
Ayumi died
. 
I think when I mentioned the kingdom, the mental image I had was different from 
the kingdom the Witnesses believe in. Probably it was a more personal kind of 
kingdom, which is why the term could slip out so naturally. But what sort of kingdom 
do I believe in? What sort of kingdom do I think will appear after the world has been 
destroyed?
She gently laid her hands on her stomach and listened carefully. No matter how 
hard she listened, she didn’t hear a thing. 
Ayumi Nakano was cast off by this world. Her hands were tightly bound with cold 
handcuffs, and she was choked to death with a rope (and, as far as Aomame knew, the 
murderer had yet to be caught). An official autopsy was conducted, then she was sewn 
back up, taken to a crematorium, and burned. The person known as Ayumi Nakano no 

---

622
longer existed in this world. Her flesh and her blood were lost forever. She only 
remained in the realm of documents and memory
. 
No, maybe that’s not entirely true. Maybe she was still alive and well in 1984. Still 
grumbling that she wasn’t allowed to carry a pistol, still sticking parking tickets 
under the wipers of illegally parked cars. Still going around to high schools to teach 
girls about contraception. “If he doesn’t have on a condom, girls, then there 
shouldn’t be any penetration.”
Aomame desperately wanted to see Ayumi. If she could climb back up that 
emergency stairway on the Metropolitan Expressway No. 3 and return to the world of 
1984, then maybe she would see her again. 
Maybe there Ayumi is still alive, and I’m 
not being chased by these Sakigake freaks. Maybe we could stop
by that restaurant on 
Nogizaka again and enjoy another glass of Burgundy. Or perhaps—