After the quake blind willow, sleeping woman dance dance dance

Am I seeing this pregnancy as something good, something to be welcomed? Or 
as something unwelcome, something inappropriate?
I can’t reach a conclusion no matter how hard I think about it. I’m still in a state 
of shock. I’m mixed up, confused. In certain ways I feel split in two. And 
understandably I’m having trouble swallowing this new reality
. 
Yet Aomame also had to recognize that she was watching this little heat source 
with a positive sense of anticipation. She simply had to see what happened to this 
thing growing inside her. Obviously she was anxious and scared. 
It
might be more 
than she could imagine. It might be a hostile foreign entity that greedily devoured her 
from the inside. She could imagine all sorts of negative possibilities. But she was in 
thrall to a healthy curiosity. Like a sudden flash of light in the dark, a thought 
abruptly sprang to her mind.