After the quake blind willow, sleeping woman dance dance dance

Air Chrysalis
, the young girl protagonist discovers her own other 
self inside. Her 
dohta
. She leaves her 
dohta
behind and runs away from the 
community alone. But what could possibly be inside of Tengo’s air chrysalis? (Tengo 
felt intuitively that this air chrysalis must be 
his own
.) Was it something good or 
something evil? Was it something that would guide him somewhere or something that 
would stand in his way? And who could possibly have sent this air chrysalis to him 
here? 
Tengo knew quite well that he was being asked to act. But he could not find the 
courage that would enable him to stand and look inside the chrysalis. He was afraid. 
The thing inside the chrysalis might wound him or greatly change his life. The 
thought caused Tengo to grow stiff, sitting on the little stool like someone who has 
lost a place of refuge. He was feeling the same kind of fear that had kept him from 
looking up his parents’ family register or searching for Aomame. He 
did not want to 
know
what was inside the air chrysalis that had been prepared for him. If he could get 
by without knowing what was in there, that was how he wanted to walk out of this 
room. If possible, he wanted to leave this room 
now
, get on the train, and go back to 
Tokyo. He wanted to close his eyes, block his ears, and burrow himself in his own 
little world. 
But Tengo also knew that this was impossible. 
If I leave here without seeing what 
is inside, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I’ll probably never be able to forgive 
myself for having averted my eyes from that
something, 
whatever it might be
. 
Tengo remained seated on the stool for a long time, unsure of what he should do, 
unable to go either forward or back. Folding his hands on his knees, he stared at the 
air chrysalis on the bed, glancing occasionally out the window, as if hoping to escape. 
The sun had set, and a pale afterglow was slowly enveloping the pine woods. Still 
there was no wind, nor could he hear the sound of the waves. It was almost 
mysteriously quiet. And as the room’s darkness increased, the light emitted by the 
white object became deeper and more vivid. The chrysalis itself seemed like a living 

---

517
thing to Tengo, with its soft glow of life, its unique warmth, its nearly imperceptible 
vibration. 
Finally Tengo made up his mind, stood up from the stool, and leaned over the bed. 
Running away now was out of the question. He couldn’t live forever like a frightened 
child, averting his eyes from the things before him. Only by learning the truth—
whatever that truth might be—could people be given the right kind of power. 
The tear in the air chrysalis was unchanged, neither bigger nor smaller than before. 
Squinting, he looked in through the opening, but he could not see very far inside. It 
was dark in there, and a thin membrane seemed to be stretched across the space 
inside. Tengo steadied his breathing and made sure his hands were not shaking. Then 
he put his fingers into the inch-long opening and slowly spread it apart, as if opening 
the two leaves of a double sliding door. It opened easily with little resistance and no 
sound, as if it had been waiting for his hands. 
Now the light of the air chrysalis itself was softly illuminating its interior, like light 
reflected from snow. He was able to see inside, however dimly. 
What Tengo found in there was a beautiful ten-year-old girl. 
She was sound asleep. She wore a simple white dress or nightgown free of 
decoration, her small hands folded on top of her flat chest. Tengo knew instantly who 
this was. She had a slender face, and her lips formed a straight line, as if drawn with a 
ruler. Perfectly straight bangs lay over a smooth, well-shaped forehead. Her little nose 
seemed to be searching for something, aimed tentatively upward into space. Her 
cheekbones stretched slightly to either side. Her eyes were closed, but Tengo knew 
what they would look like when they opened. How could he not know? He had lived 
for twenty years holding the image of this girl in his heart. 
“Aomame,” Tengo said aloud. 
The girl was sound asleep—a deep and utterly natural sleep, with the faintest 
possible breathing. The beating of her heart was too ephemeral to be heard. She did 
not have enough strength to raise her eyelids. The 
time for that
had not come yet. Her 
conscious mind was not here but rather somewhere far away. Still, the word that 
Tengo had spoken was able to impart the slightest vibration to her eardrums. It was 
her name. 
Aomame heard the call from far away. 
Tengo
, she thought. She formed the word 
clearly with her mouth, though it didn’t move the lips of the girl in the air chrysalis or 
reach Tengo’s ears. 
As if his soul had been snatched, Tengo stared insatiably at the girl, taking one 
shallow breath after another. Her face looked totally peaceful, without the slightest 
shadow of sadness or pain or anxiety. Her thin, little lips seemed ready to begin 
moving at any moment to form meaningful words. Her eyelids appeared ready to 
open. Tengo prayed from the heart for this to happen. His prayer took no precise 
words, but his heart spun this formless prayer and sent it out into space. The girl, 
however, showed no sign of waking. 
“Aomame,” Tengo called again. 
There were things he had to say to Aomame, feelings he had to convey to her. He 
had been living with them, keeping them inside, for years. But all that Tengo could do 
now was speak her name. 
“Aomame,” he called. 

---

518
He dared then to reach out and touch the hand of the girl who lay in the air 
chrysalis, placing his big grown-up hand on hers. This was the little hand that had so 
tightly grasped the hand of his ten-year-old self. This hand had come straight for him, 
wanting him, giving him encouragement. The unmistakable warmth of life was there 
in the hand of the girl asleep inside the pale glow. 
Aomame came here to convey her 
warmth to me
, Tengo thought. 
That was the meaning of the package she handed to me 
in that classroom twenty years ago
. Now at last he was able to open the package and 
view its contents. 
“Aomame,” Tengo said. “I will find you, no matter what.” 
After the air chrysalis had gradually lost its glow and disappeared, as if sucked into 
the darkness, and the young Aomame had disappeared as well, Tengo found himself 
unable to judge whether all of this had really happened. But his fingers retained the 
touch and the intimate warmth of her little hand. 
This warmth will almost surely never fade
, Tengo thought, sitting aboard the 
special express train heading for Tokyo. Tengo had lived for the past twenty years 
with the memory of her touch. He should be able to go on living with this new 
warmth. 
The express train traced a huge arc along the ocean shore beneath the towering 
mountains, until it reached a point along the coast where the two moons were visible, 
hanging side by side in the sky above the quiet sea. They stood out sharply—the big, 
yellow moon and the small, green one—vivid in outline but their distance impossible 
to grasp. In their light, the ocean’s tiny ripples shone mysteriously like scattered 
shards of glass. As the train continued around the curve, the two moons moved slowly 
across the window, leaving those delicate shards behind, like wordless hints, until 
they disappeared from view. 
Once the moons were gone, the warmth returned to Tengo’s chest. Faint as it was, 
the warmth was surely there, conveying a promise like a lamp a traveler sees in the far 
distance. 
I will go on living in this world
, Tengo thought, closing his eyes. He did not know 
yet how this world was put together or under what principles it moved, and he had no 
way of predicting what would happen there. But that was all right. He didn’t have to 
be afraid. Whatever might be waiting for him, he would survive in this world with 
two moons, and he would find the path he needed to take—as long as he did not 
forget this warmth, as long as he did not lose this feeling in his heart. 
He kept his eyes closed like this for a long time. Eventually, he opened his eyes to 
stare into the darkness of the early-autumn night beyond the window. The ocean had 
long since disappeared. 
I will find Aomame
, Tengo swore to himself again, 
no matter what happens, no 
matter what kind of world it may be, no matter who she may be
. 

---

519

---

520