365 Days With Self-Discipline: 365 Life-Altering Thoughts on Self-Control, Mental Resilience, and Success

Day 354: On Focusing on the Good Thing s

I  think  it’s  almost  an  indulgence  to  focus  on  the  dark  side  of  things.

And as you get older, you want to focus on the positive.

—Rob Brydon

 

354

On  several  occasions,  we  have  talked  about  cultivating  positive

emotions when things go bad. I argued that focusing on the bad things is an

act  of  mental  laziness  because  they’re  easier  to  access  than  the  positive

ones. Today I’d like to talk about this topic yet again, this time by looking

at it as a new habit to instill.

As people get older, they tend to focus more on the dark side of things.

Perhaps  it’s  because  they’ve  experienced  more  things,  suffered  more

failures, or were let down by more people. Whatever the reason, if you want

to remain a happy and successful person, grumbling is not the way to go.

If  by  default  you  focus  on  the  dark  side,  it’s  time  to  develop  a  new

habit:  whenever  you  catch  yourself  focusing  on  the  dark  side  of  things,

come up with one good thing about the situation and focus on that thought

instead. Keep your mouth shut if you want to voice a complaint.

For  example,  if  you’re  out  enjoying  a  walk  with  a  friend  and  it’s

starting  to  rain,  resist  the  temptation  to  complain  about  the  bad  weather.

Instead,  say  (for  example)  that  it’s  nice  to  take  a  walk  despite  the  rain

because  there  are  fewer  people  around,  or  redirect  your  attention  to

something else, such as your friend’s recent success.

Exhibiting  a  positive  attitude  takes  work,  but  it’s  work  that  is  well

worth the effort. Strive to focus on the positive and train yourself to always

find something good, even in the worst circumstances. You’ll get better at

controlling your thoughts and become more optimistic and resilient.

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