You Are a Badass at Making Money

TO GET RICH
Suggested Money Mantra (say it, write it, feel it, own it):
I love money because money is always here for me.
1. Write down the five most common limiting words or phrases you and the people you
hang out with most use to talk about money.
2. Shut up, slow down, stop using them.
3. Meditate for at least five minutes every day. Before sitting down, ask the question,
“What belief is blocking me from making money?” Write down any insights you get,
question them, come up with a new story and repeat it to yourself as described in the
previous chapter.
4. Come up with one superexciting reason that you want to make money and spend five
to ten minutes visualizing all the details of it. Notice if any limiting beliefs come up and,
if so, follow the drill in number 3.
5. Write a letter to money. Notice the key, most emotional limiting beliefs that come up for
you and do the rewrite drill for them too.
6. Listen to your intuition during meditation, visualization, or just running around being
you, and the moment you get a brilliant idea that would move you in the direction of
your financial dreams, jump on it. Go for it like you’ve never gone for it before. Leap
like the largest leaping leaper ever. Notice any crappy thoughts that come up while
you’re in midair, and rewrite them, but do not stop your forward motion in order to do

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so. The successful completion of this one exercise could land you in full-on badassery.
Just sayin’.
Please fill in the blank:
I’m grateful to money because ____________________.

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I
CHAPTER 5
THE HOLLERING OF YOUR HEART
wrote the first You Are a Badass book while I was staying on a farm in
northern California. The deal was I could have the entire seventeen-acre
paradise, complete with beautiful sunny house and views in all directions, if
I took care of their horse and two goats. I’m a little scared of horses (and
don’t you need a special license or degree or something to take care of an
animal that large?) and knew nothing about goats other than that they can
chew through cans, but I loved the place, and I love animals, and staying
there ended up being one of my favorite chunks of time ever.
I’d spend my days sitting on the couch in front of the giant windows,
typing on my laptop while gazing out at Diablo Mountain. The goats spent
their days sitting on the porch in front of the sliding glass door, gazing at
me, waiting in vain to be let inside. Sometimes they’d get up and chase the
horse around the yard or run full speed into each other’s heads, but for the
most part they’d just glare at me with their weird goatly eyes, aggressively
chewing their cud, insulted and unamused by their outdoor-only status.
Every so often, when they just could not believe I still hadn’t gotten up and
invited them in, they’d take matters into their own hands and hurl
themselves against the glass or get up on their hind legs and pound it with
their hooves.
One day while I was off in town shopping, I returned home after about
five hours to find the horse standing in the driveway by himself. Although
he was truly one of the biggest horses I’d ever laid eyes on, he was also one
of the neediest, and was rarely, if ever, more than twenty feet away from his
goats.
“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” I asked him as I got out
of the car, pausing to listen to the familiar sound of goat hooves banging

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against a glass door. My first thought was how strange it was that they’d be
trying to get in when I wasn’t home (they were equally as needy about me
as the horse was about them). My second thought was Holy. Fucking. Shit.
I realized they weren’t trying to get in. They were trying to get out.
In a slow-motion sprint, I ran up to the house, let myself in, shoved the
goats out, and did my best to shut and barricade the newly compromised
door. I then proceeded to stand frozen, with my hands over my mouth,
uttering “Oh my God” over and over and over as I took in the sight before
me. It was like witnessing the aftermath of a particularly debauched
fraternity party full of amateur drinkers—epic, shocking, and so
staggeringly horrible you can’t help but look even though you really don’t
want to.
The goats had finally made the impossible dream come true by knocking
the sliding glass door off its track and bursting through the screen, which
subsequently closed on its own, trapping them inside with nothing else to
do but completely destroy the place for five delirious hours. Their
handiwork involved knocking over every single potted plant, smashing the
planters and kicking dirt, planter, and plant debris in an impressively wide
radius. They pulled the dish towel off the counter that I had glasses drying
on, thereby shattering glass all over the place. Then there was the pooping
and pissing party, which took place on every single piece of furniture and in
every imaginable corner. They excreted their excrement on my bed, the
white couch, the coffee table, the dining-room table, the bench in the
hallway, and inside my shower. There was such an incredible volume of
urine, in fact, I imagined that they somehow must have waved the horse
inside so he could get in on the fun too. For their grand finale, they hopped
up and down and knocked nearly every single piece of artwork off the wall
onto the floor. I mean, who thinks to do that?
My first reaction was shock, but I have to admit, after that I was pretty
damn impressed. They really did a great, thorough job. We could all learn a
thing or two from their tireless commitment to detail and the pride they so
clearly took in their work.
Here are some secrets to success that the goats modeled beautifully:
Chewing, kicking, stampeding through any obstacles in their paths.
Pooh-poohing the rules.
Dreaming. Bigger than goats are told they can dream.

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Never taking no for an answer.
Following their hearts no matter what.
Not stopping until they reached their goal.
It opened up a whole new world for them, literally and metaphorically.
They transcended their Outdoor Farm Animals status and became Creatures
Who’ve Experienced Thousand-Thread-Count Sheets. They were forever
changed. What this meant was that they became colossal pains in the ass,
and more destructive than any goat has ever been, which is saying
something. Drunk with power on their victory and newfound mindset that
anything they desire is possible, they broke through the gate and started
terrorizing the neighborhood on a regular basis. They began jumping all
over people’s parked cars, tried to break and enter any sliding glass door
they happened upon, tore down bird feeders, obliterated gardens, and
chased after small dogs, all the while maniacally screaming, yelling,
laughing, and pissing wherever they pleased, like a pair of carousing
psychopaths. I quickly got the gate fixed, patched all the holes in the fence
surrounding the property, and covered my car in giant slabs of plywood to
keep them off it, but the horse and I never looked at the goats the same way
again. We were both kinda in awe.
Doubts, fears, and other people’s rules are no match for a heart on a
mission.
In order to become rich, you must connect to your desire for money with
the passion of a goat who wants in off the porch. And the key to doing this
is by getting clear on the specifics around your Why: Why do you desire
this money? What will you spend it on? How will it feel to make it, spend
it, and bask in the manifestation of your ever so important Why? Just
wanting to get rich isn’t going to cut it—there has to be meaning behind the
money or else the second it gets hard or expensive or someone tells you
you’re high if you think you can get rich by selling your homemade ice
cream, you’ll slink back to your goat pen of complacency instead of doing
whatever it takes. Start by thinking about what inspired you to pick up this

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book. How is more money going to add value to your life? How will getting
rich change who you’re being in the world? Which of your gifts are you the
most excited to share in exchange for money? Where do you feel you bring
the most value to your fellow earthlings? How does it feel to share your
biggest, badassiest self with others?
If you’re going to make more money, you need to get in touch with the
emotions surrounding your incentive for making it, because emotions are
what drive you to action. And if you’re going to make the kind of money
you’ve never made before, you’re going to have to do a whole lotta stuff
you ain’t never done before, which will scare and challenge (and excite) the
crap out of you. So you’re going to want to be real fired up about getting
rich and very clear about why it’s so important to you. Here are the best
ways to do that.