I guess you have to be a diplomat—knowing what to say
and when to say it; martial arts expert—thinking on your feet;
therapist—letting others bring their problems to you, but
keeping yours to yourself; and Zen master—all seeing, all
knowing, saying little.
So when people ask for your opinion,
you have to weigh up
what it is they are really asking. Do they really want the truth?
Their report sucks. Or a limited version of the truth? Your
report is fine, it’ll just about do the job. A highlighted truth?
Your report is good but you have missed out quite a lot. A
reassurance truth? Your report is really good and I liked it, and
I like you because your report is so good. Or the real truth? I
haven’t had time to read it yet because I don’t like you and
think it’ll be a pretty boring report—bit like you really.
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L O O K A F T E R Y O U R S E L F
T H E R E M AY B E
R U T H L E SS N E SS G O I N G O N
A R O U N D YO U , B U T YO U
D O N ’ T H AV E TO
PA R T I C I PAT E .
Cultivate Your Support/
Contacts/Friends
R U L E 5 2
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T H E R U L E S O F W O R K
If you don’t cover up for people, what use are you to them? As
I have said, it’s a real world out there, and people expect a lot
of you. They want you to be in their debt. They want you to
carry the can,
cover up for them, do their dirty work for them
and watch their back—and all at the same time. But you are a
Rules Player now, and that takes you outside the spheres of
petty office gang warfare. You are now a stand-alone item. You
don’t feed with the sharks, and yet you avoid being their food.
What are you, and what are you for?
You are a pool of calm, the eye of the storm. You are the reli-
able
strength of the team, unshakeable and unshaken. You are
the default setting, the honesty factor, the standard by which
all other colleagues judge themselves. If you think it’s a no-go
area then they will know it is. If you turn your back on a
tricky situation, they too will know it’s not to be touched. If
you say it’s fine, then they know it’s a good thing.
You
are the standard bearer, the criterion by which all else is
judged. Don’t believe me? Try it; it works.
And because you are so reliable, honest, trustworthy, other
colleagues will quickly come to rely on you for advice and
guidance. You, however, give nothing away for free. Every pat
on the back, every prod in the right direction,
every session of
useful hints and tips, every point of guidance comes with a
price—loyalty. You may not hunt with the pack, but by golly
the pack had better know who really is pack leader. Yep, you.
How to achieve this? By kindness, by consideration, by play-
ing it straight. Never let them down. Never rat on them. Never
drop them in it.
Always be cheerful, supportive, loyal—don’t
lie or cover up, but do close ranks if you can—protective,
cooperative, caring, and genuinely interested in them as
human beings. You’ll have ’em eating out of your hand. Why?
Because this is a rare game to play. Playing it straight is such
an unusual thing that they will have no defense against it, no
protection. There are few management training books or
courses that teach you to be nice,
be straight, be honest. The
unspoken wisdom is generally be ruthless, take advantage,
dog eat dog. The consequence of this is everyone thinks like a
dog and not like a real person. You come along and show
them how it really should be and they will follow you any-
where, you old dog you.
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L O O K A F T E R Y O U R S E L F
P L AY I N G I T S T R A I G H T I S
S U C H A N U N U S U A L T H I N G
T H AT T H E Y W I L L H AV E N O
D E F E N S E AGA I N S T I T ,
N O P R OT E CT I O N .
Date with Caution
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T H E R U L E S O F W O R K
There are those who say that you should never date anyone you
work with, on the grounds
that it can cause resentment, stress,
jealousy, distraction, frustration, and generally damage your
work and your reputation. If not when things are going well,
then certainly when the relationship is in trouble or finishes.
To some extent I agree with this, and certainly there’s no
excuse for falling into the bad behavior trap at the office party.
If you can’t resist getting it together with that tasty colleague
from accounts while photocopying your bottoms, best skip the
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