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It is your attitude about yourself
that a man will adopt.
The same works in reverse. A beautiful woman can make herself
look ugly in the eyes of a man if she is very insecure.
He pursued you; therefore, he finds you attractive. An
understated demeanor and a confident attitude will convince him
you’re gorgeous.
Never assume you are not attractive enough, and therefore you
have to overcompensate or chase a man. Taste is subjective. One
man’s “ugly” is another man’s “beautiful.” The first date is about
looks. When he falls in love, it’s about your attitude. It’s about
whether you can hold your own. Which is all about how you hold
yourself.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #7
Act like a prize and
you’ll turn him into a believer.
A woman also demeans herself when she compares herself to
another woman. So, don’t let on when you feel threatened by
another attractive woman who walks into the room. If you want to
make a woman who is a 6 on a scale of 10 look like a 12, what do
you need to do? Simple. Act threatened by her. If you pretend not
to notice her, he’ll see your confidence in yourself and then he’ll
become intrigued with
you.
Then another curious thing will happen.
Suddenly she won’t look so good. She only has as much power as
you give her.
A girlfriend of mine named Samantha went on a first date with a
man who took her to a local boxing match. In between rounds, as
always, there was a sexy, barely dressed stripper who came out
holding the round number. Her date looked at the woman and then,
in an effort to be a gentleman, turned to look at Samantha. She
acted as though she was oblivious as to why he had turned to look
at her.
When the woman came out again in the following round in a see-
through lace nightie, my friend leaned down under the seat and
nonchalantly asked her date if she could drink some of the water in
his water bottle. He said, “Sure.” At no time did she behave as if
she was threatened. Instead, she remained very composed as
though the other woman didn’t even exist. By the end of the third
round, he no longer noticed the woman in the boxing ring.
The end result was that he was completely enamored with
Samantha. And while driving home, he kept saying how incredibly
beautiful he thought she was. The proof was in the pudding. He
continued to pursue her, not the stripper who overcompensated, to
get the kind of attention
that is often very short-lived.
While my friend’s behavior was exemplary, his wasn’t all that
romantic. It should not go unnoticed that a man is willing to take you
somewhere unromantic on the first date. If a man takes you to a
boxing match, a strip joint, or a place he might typically hang out
with a bunch of guys, he’s telling you by the choices he is making
that he doesn’t plan to have you around that long. If this is where he
takes you on a first date,
don’t
go out with him a second time.
If you are in an uncomfortable situation, don’t feel compelled to
compete with another woman. In addition, you don’t need to
expose a lot of skin or feel as if you have to work harder to earn a
man’s sexual attention. I know a woman who takes off layers of
clothes based on how the other women in the room are dressed.
The issue again is overcompensation. No need.
Wearing your sexuality on your sleeve isn’t advantageous in
luring a man. The issue is not about whether you are successful in
turning him on; this is no big achievement. He can get aroused from
riding a motorcycle or from sleeping. The issue is not whether you
turn him on; it’s whether he
stays
turned on
after
he has been
satisfied. This is the key.
Quality men are attracted by less, not more. If he sees a pretty
secretary wearing her hair in a bun, right there in broad daylight he’s
going to start wondering what she looks like with her hair down. If
he sees a woman dressed in a way that shows there is something
moving behind a sweater that he can’t see, his desire to see is
greater than if she’s showing it right off the bat. When you show
your shape, but don’t expose every inch, the “unwrapping of the
gift” becomes much more stimulating. If he has to unbutton an item
of clothing to get to what he wants to see, it turns him on
more.
Not
less.
You often hear a man say of a provocatively dressed woman, “I
wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers.” This is true until
he’s had “his way” with her and then crackers or no crackers, he
moves on. The difficult part isn’t getting a man’s interest. The trick
is knowing how to
sustain
it.
Much of holding your own in a relationship begins with
how you
hold yourself.
Overcompensating is overcompensating, and it
includes everything from calling a man too much to cooking a four-
course meal to dressing too provocatively. Remember the saying:
The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
If, at a later date, you dress provocatively, that’s another story.
Then he knows you are doing it just for him, so it becomes a treat.
This is why you often hear men say they want a lady in the living
room and a whore in the bedroom. It’s what you don’t show that
keeps him intrigued.
Don’t let the advertisements on TV be your guide. The woman
who sustains a man’s interest is not the one who feels confident
because of a particular miniskirt, a belly ring, or a black dress with a
plunging neckline. A bitch doesn’t rely on these things to feel good
about herself. She relies on
who she is as a woman.
“He should accept me as I am!” says the woman who is too nice.
Accept you? Oh no, sister. Slap yourself. He should want you
madly. Acceptance has nothing to do with it. He
accepts
a
doormat. But he
desires
his dreamgirl. If you want acceptance, go
to a self-help group. We’re talking about what he craves. It started
when he was a kid. When he received a toy for Christmas that he
didn’t even ask for, he played with it for a whole five minutes. The
toy he cherished was the one he bought with two months’
allowance that sat on the top shelf in the toy store. He couldn’t
reach it but went in to look at it all the time. He got up every
morning at the crack of dawn to toss papers on a paper route to get
that toy. It’s the one toy he will always remember because he had
to earn it.
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