We live in a world of techology these days

We live in a world of techology these days.
while the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control
and security of information outweighs the advantages.

To what extent do you agree?

Technology is the continually developing result of accumulated knowledge and applications in all techniques, skills and

methods.
Nowadays, we can see how important the technology and the internet in our live. However, there are some disadvantages too. (Too is used with comma, and in writings you’d better use as well with comma. Here, disadvantages, as well. However, the meaning is opposing the previous idea, that’s why it would be more practical, if you wrote like disadvantages, though)
It is a problem of controling and security of information. (You don’t need this sentence) In the following paragraph, i (avoid using I in any case) will also give my opinions on this
viewpoint. (This is not an opinion essay, therefore this thesis statement is out of structure)

The development of the internet become necessary for several occasions. Firstly, we should mention the jobs, because

nowadays the online jobs become more popular, and it is comfortable for the housewives and mothers on maternity leave.
Moreover the IT,SMM,and programmers works in a distant work. (Wrong collocation)

Secondly, thanks to the internet, people who are living far away from their families, can see each other (for plural occasions, one another) from any platforms,

for example, skype, whatsapp and telegram. But However, on the internet we have a disadvantages too, such as social media. online
platform can not control who is the murder or hacker. because of this in the world a lot of crime. (Wrong sentence building, concern the grammar).
Why did you jump to the disadvantage suddenly? If you give the disadvantage after the advantage, all the paragraphs with advantages should be followed by the advantages.

Thirdly, people are is gaining misinformation from the internet. on Facebook a lot of fake news and unnecessary information. (Wrong sentence building, concern the grammar).

Most of the people believe and share false information from each other, in addition people makes confusing. (get confused)

in conclusion, there are many advantages and dissadvantages of the internet. We must take care of our security and privicy,

and never share malicious information
You should summarize your ideas above, not giving other opinions.