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CHAPTER XIV
The days spent in the employ of the Bracebridge household were of a
broadening character. This great house was a school to Jennie, not only in
the matter of dress and manners, but as formulating a theory of existence.
Mrs. Bracebridge and her husband were the last word in the matter of self-
sufficiency, taste in the matter of appointments, care in the matter of dress,
good form in the matter of reception, entertainment, and the various usages
of social life. Now and then, apropos of nothing save her own mood, Mrs.
Bracebridge would indicate her philosophy of life in an epigram.
"Life is a battle, my dear. If you gain anything you will have to fight for it."
"In my judgment it is silly not to take advantage of any aid which will help
you to be what you want to be." (This while applying a faint suggestion of
rouge.)
"Most people are born silly. They are exactly what they are capable of being.
I despise lack of taste; it is the worst crime."
Most of these worldly-wise counsels were not given directly to Jennie. She
overheard them, but to her quiet and reflective mind they had their import.
Like seeds fallen upon good ground, they took root and grew. She began to
get a faint perception of hierarchies and powers. They were not for her,
perhaps, but they were in the world, and if fortune were kind one might
better one's state. She worked on, wondering, however, just how better
fortune might come to her. Who would have her to wife knowing her history?
How could she ever explain the existence of her child?
Her child, her child, the one transcendent, gripping theme of joy and fear. If
she could only do something for it—sometime, somehow!
For the first winter things went smoothly enough. By the closest economy
the children were clothed and kept in school, the rent paid, and the
instalments met. Once it looked as though there might be some difficulty
about the continuance of the home life, and that was when Gerhardt wrote
that he would be home for Christmas. The mill was to close down for a short
period at that time. He was naturally anxious to see what the new life of his
family at Cleveland was like.
Mrs. Gerhardt would have welcomed his return with unalloyed pleasure had
it not been for the fear she entertained of his creating a scene. Jennie talked
it over with her mother, and Mrs. Gerhardt in turn spoke of it to Bass,
whose advice was to brave it out.
"Don't worry," he said; "he won't do anything about it. I'll talk to him if he
says anything."
The scene did occur, but it was not so unpleasant as Mrs. Gerhardt had
feared. Gerhardt came home during the afternoon, while Bass, Jennie, and
George were at work. Two of the younger children went to the train to meet
him. When he entered Mrs. Gerhardt greeted him affectionately, but she
trembled for the discovery which was sure to come. Her suspense was not
for long. Gerhardt opened the front bedroom door only a few minutes after
he arrived. On the white counterpane of the bed was a pretty child, sleeping.
He could not but know on the instant whose it was, but he pretended
ignorance.
"Whose child is that?" he questioned.
"It's Jennie's," said Mrs. Gerhardt, weakly.
"When did that come here?"
"Not so very long ago," answered the mother, nervously.
"I guess she is here, too," he declared, contemptuously, refusing to
pronounce her name, a fact which he had already anticipated.
"She's working in a family," returned his wife in a pleading tone. "She's
doing so well now. She had no place to go. Let her alone."
Gerhardt had received a light since he had been away. Certain inexplicable
thoughts and feelings had come to him in his religious meditations. In his
prayers he had admitted to the All-seeing that he might have done
differently by his daughter. Yet he could not make up his mind how to treat
her for the future. She had committed a great sin; it was impossible to get
away from that.
When Jennie came home that night a meeting was unavoidable. Gerhardt
saw her coming, and pretended to be deeply engaged in a newspaper. Mrs.
Gerhardt, who had begged him not to ignore Jennie entirely, trembled for
fear he would say or do something which would hurt her feelings.
"She is coming now," she said, crossing to the door of the front room, where
he was sitting; but Gerhardt refused to look up. "Speak to her, anyhow," was
her last appeal before the door opened; but he made no reply.
When Jennie came in her mother whispered, "He is in the front room."
Jennie paled, put her thumb to her lip and stood irresolute, not knowing
how to meet the situation.
"Has he seen?"
Jennie paused as she realized from her mother's face and nod that Gerhardt
knew of the child's existence.
"Go ahead," said Mrs. Gerhardt; "it's all right. He won't say anything."
Jennie finally went to the door, and, seeing her father, his brow wrinkled as
if in serious but not unkindly thought, she hesitated, but made her way
forward.
"Papa," she said, unable to formulate a definite sentence.
Gerhardt looked up, his grayish-brown eyes a study under their heavy
sandy lashes. At the sight of his daughter he weakened internally; but with
the self-adjusted armor of resolve about him he showed no sign of pleasure
at seeing her. All the forces of his conventional understanding of morality
and his naturally sympathetic and fatherly disposition were battling within
him, but, as in so many cases where the average mind is concerned,
convention was temporarily the victor.
"Yes," he said.
"Won't you forgive me, Papa?"
"I do," he returned grimly.
She hesitated a moment, and then stepped forward, for what purpose he
well understood.
"There," he said, pushing her gently away, as her lips barely touched his
grizzled cheek.
It had been a frigid meeting.
When Jennie went out into the kitchen after this very trying ordeal she lifted
her eyes to her waiting mother and tried to make it seem as though all had
been well, but her emotional disposition got the better of her.
"Did he make up to you?" her mother was about to ask; but the words were
only half out of her mouth before her daughter sank down into one of the
chairs close to the kitchen table and, laying her head on her arm, burst
forth into soft, convulsive, inaudible sobs.
"Now, now," said Mrs. Gerhardt. "There now, don't cry. What did he say?"
It was some time before Jennie recovered herself sufficiently to answer. Her
mother tried to treat the situation lightly.
"I wouldn't feel bad," she said. "He'll get over it. It's his way."
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