The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

TRAINING THE WILLPOWER MUSCLE
Any muscle in your body can be made stronger through exercise—whether you’re building your
biceps by lifting barbells, or training your thumbs by text messaging. If self-control is a muscle (even
a metaphorical muscle), it should be possible to train it, too. As with physical exercise, using your
self-control muscle may be tiring, but over time, the workout should make it stronger.
Researchers have put this idea to the test with willpower-training regimes. We’re not talking
military boot camp or Master Cleanses here. These interventions take a simpler approach: Challenge
the self-control muscle by asking people to control one small thing that they aren’t used to controlling.
For example, one willpower-training program asked participants to create and meet self-imposed
deadlines. You could do this for any task you’ve been putting off, such as cleaning your closet. The
deadlines might be: Week 1, open the door and stare at the mess. Week 2, tackle anything that’s on a
hanger. Week 3, throw out anything that predates the Reagan administration. Week 4, find out if
Goodwill accepts skeletons. Week 5—well, you get the picture. When the willpower trainees set this
kind of schedule for themselves for two months, not only did closets get cleaned and projects
completed, but they also improved their diets, exercised more, and cut back on cigarettes, alcohol,
and caffeine. It was as if they had strengthened their self-control muscle.
Other studies have found that committing to any small, consistent act of self-control—improving
your posture, squeezing a handgrip every day to exhaustion, cutting back on sweets, and keeping track
of your spending—can increase overall willpower. And while these small self-control exercises may
seem inconsequential, they appear to improve the willpower challenges we care about most,
including focusing at work, taking good care of our health, resisting temptation, and feeling more in
control of our emotions. One study, led by a team of psychologists at Northwestern University, even
tested whether two weeks of willpower training could reduce violence against a romantic partner.
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They randomly assigned forty adults (ages eighteen to forty-five, all in romantic relationships) to one
of three training groups. One group was asked to use their nondominant hand for eating, brushing their
teeth, and opening doors. The second group was told to avoid swearing and to say “yes” instead of
“yeah.” The third group received no special instructions. After two weeks, participants in both self-
control groups were less likely to respond to typical triggering events, like jealousy or feeling
disrespected by their partner, with physical violence. The third group, in contrast, showed no change.
Even if you don’t personally struggle with physical violence, we all know what it’s like to lose our
cool and do something out of anger that we later regret.
The important “muscle” action being trained in all these studies isn’t the specific willpower
challenge of meeting deadlines, using your left hand to open doors, or keeping the F-word to yourself.
It’s the habit of noticing what you are about to do, and choosing to do the more difficult thing instead
of the easiest. Through each of these willpower exercises, the brain gets used to pausing before
acting. The triviality of the assignments may even help this process. The tasks are challenging, but
they’re not overwhelming. And while the self-restraints require careful attention, they’re unlikely to
trigger strong feelings of deprivation. (“What do you mean I’m not allowed to say ‘yeah’?!?!? That’s
the only thing that gets me through the day!”) The relative unimportance of the willpower challenges
allowed participants to exercise the muscle of self-control without the internal angst that derails so
many of our attempts to change.

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WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: A WILLPOWER WORKOUT
If you want to put yourself through your own willpower-training regime, test the muscle model of
self-control with one of the following willpower workouts:
• 
Strengthen “I Won’t” Power:
Commit to not swearing (or refraining from any habit of
speech), not crossing your legs when you sit, or using your nondominant hand for a daily
task like eating or opening doors.
• 
Strengthen “I Will” Power:
Commit to doing something every day (not something you
already do) just for the practice of building a habit and not making excuses. It could be
calling your mother, meditating for five minutes, or finding one thing in your house that
needs to be thrown out or recycled.
• 
Strengthen Self-Monitoring:
Formally keep track of something you don’t usually pay
close attention to. This could be your spending, what you eat, or how much time you
spend online or watching TV. You don’t need fancy technology—pencil and paper will
do. But if you need some inspiration, the Quantified Self movement
(
www.quantifiedself.com
) has turned self-tracking into an art and science.
For any of these willpower-training exercises, you could choose something related to your main
willpower challenge. For example, if your goal is to save money, you might keep track of what you
spend. If your goal is to exercise more often, you might decide to do ten sit-ups or push-ups before
your morning shower. But even if you don’t match this experiment to your biggest goals, the muscle
model of self-control suggests that exercising your willpower each day, even in silly or simple ways,
will build strength for all your willpower challenges.

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