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THE LAST WORD
When our willpower challenges overwhelm us, it’s tempting to assign the blame to who we are:
weak, lazy, willpowerless wimps. But more often than not, our brains and bodies are simply in the
wrong state for self-control. When we’re in a state of chronic stress, it’s our most impulsive selves
who face our willpower challenges. To succeed at our willpower challenges, we need to find the
state of mind and body that puts our energy toward self-control, not self-defense. That means giving
ourselves what we need to recover from stress, and making sure we have the energy to be our best
selves.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
The Idea
: Willpower is a biological instinct, like stress, that evolved to help us protect
ourselves from ourselves.
Under the Microscope
•
What is the threat?
For your willpower challenge, identify the
inner
impulse that needs
to be restrained.
•
Stress and self-control.
Notice when stress strikes throughout the day or week, and watch
what happens to your self-control. Do you experience cravings? Lose your temper? Put
off things you know you should do?
Willpower Experiments
•
Breathe your way to self-control.
Slow down your breathing to four to six breaths per
minute to shift into the physiological state of self-control.
•
The five-minute green willpower fill-up.
Get active outdoors—even just a walk around
the block—to reduce stress, improve your mood, and boost motivation.
•
Zzzzzzzzzz.
Undo the effects of sleep deprivation with a nap or one good night’s sleep.
•
Relax to restore your willpower reserve.
Lie down, breathe deeply, and let the
physiological relaxation response help you recover from the demands of self-control and
daily stress.
THREE
Too Tired to Resist: Why Self-Control Is Like a Muscle
I
t’s a familiar sight on college campuses across the country: Haggard-looking students slump over
library desks and laptops. Zombie-like, they lurch across campus in search of caffeine and sugar. The
gyms are empty, beds unslept in. At Stanford, it’s called “Dead Week”—the seven-day final
examination period at the end of every quarter. Students cram their heads with facts and formulas, pull
all-nighters, and push themselves to study hard enough to make up for ten weeks of dorm parties and
Frisbee golf. However, studies show that these heroic efforts come at a cost (beyond the nightly pizza
deliveries and pricey espresso drinks). During final exam periods, many students seem to lose the
capacity to control anything other than their study habits. They smoke more cigarettes and ditch the
salad bar for the french fry line. They’re prone to emotional outbursts and bike accidents. They skip
showering and shaving, and rarely make the effort to change clothes. Dear God, they even stop
flossing.
Welcome to one of the most robust, if troubling, findings from the science of self-control: People
who use their willpower seem to run out of it. Smokers who go without a cigarette for twenty-four
hours are more likely to binge on ice cream. Drinkers who resist their favorite cocktail become
physically weaker on a test of endurance. Perhaps most disturbingly, people who are on a diet are
more likely to cheat on their spouse. It’s as if there’s only so much willpower to go around. Once
exhausted, you are left defenseless against temptation—or at least disadvantaged.
This finding has important implications for your willpower challenges. Modern life is full of self-
control demands that can drain your willpower. Researchers have found that self-control is highest in
the morning and steadily deteriorates over the course of the day. By the time you get to the stuff that
really matters to you, like going to the gym after work, tackling the big project, keeping your cool
when your kids turn the couch into a finger paint masterpiece, or staying away from the emergency
pack of cigarettes stashed in your drawer, you may find yourself out of willpower. And if you try to
control or change too many things at once, you may exhaust yourself completely. This failure says
nothing about your virtue—just about the nature of willpower itself.
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