The skills you need guide to interpersonal skills



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2 Advanced Communication(1)

Be open to the feedback
In order to hear feedback, you need to listen to it. Do not spend your 
time thinking about how to respond, just listen. Notice the non-verbal 
communication as well, and listen to what the other person is not 
saying, as well as what they are.
• 
Take your time to consider it
You need to decide whether it is genuine criticism or whether there 
is some other reason for it, for example, that someone is angry or 
frustrated, and you are simply there in front of them.
• 
Use questioning and other clarification techniques
You need to ensure that you have fully understood all the nuances of 
what the other person is saying and avoid any misunderstandings. Use 
different types of questions to clarify the situation, and reflect back your 
understanding, including emotions.
For example, you might say:
“So when you said…, would it be fair to say that you meant…and 
felt…?” “Have I understood correctly that when I did…, you felt…?”
Make sure that your reflection and questions focus on behaviour, and not 
personality. Even if the feedback has been given at another level, it is a 
good idea to return the conversation to the behavioural, and help the 
person giving feedback to focus on that level.
Emotional intelligence is essential. You need to be aware of your emotions 
(self-awareness) and also be able to manage them (self-control), so that 
even if the feedback causes an emotional response, you can control it.


102
2.
ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SKILLS
• 
Be grateful
Always thank the person who has given you the feedback. They have 
already seen that you have listened and understood, now accept it.
• 

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