51
2.
ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SKILLS
FAUX PAS AND HUMOUR
A ‘faux pas’ (from French meaning ‘false step’) is usually an accidental, or
unintentional, breach of socially accepted norms, manners or etiquette.
As a faux
pas is unintentional, and not a deliberate act of rudeness, it is often considered
amusing, especially to an observer, although it can be very embarrassing for the
person or people involved.
For
these reasons, faux pas are used frequently in comedy. Such situations can make
the audience cringe, empathise with and ultimately laugh at the characters being
portrayed. The more in tune you are with the rules of etiquette, the more likely you
are to react to the embarrassment caused to others in such situations.
Conversely,
if you lack knowledge or experience of socially acceptable behaviour, you are
less likely to get the joke. This can be particularly true across different cultures or
demographics and is why comedy does not always translate or travel well.
The relationship between comedy and faux pas helps to demonstrate the
importance many people put on acceptable social interactions,
in a wide
variety of settings.
52
2.
ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SKILLS
TACT AND DIPLOMACY
Tact and diplomacy are methods used to aid effective communication, especially
during negotiation and when attempting to be persuasive or assertive. Using tact
and diplomacy appropriately can lead to improved relationships
with other people
and are a way to build and develop mutual respect, which in turn can lead to more
successful outcomes and less difficult or stressful communications.
Tact and diplomacy are skills centred around an understanding of other
people and being sensitive to their opinions, beliefs, ideas and feelings.
Effective use of such skills comes from being able to sense accurately what
another person is feeling or thinking at any given
time and then responding
in such a way as to avoid bad feelings or awkwardness, whilst at the same
time asserting or reflecting your own ideas and feelings back in a delicate
and well-meaning fashion.
All people and all communication situations are unique. Developing effective
tact and diplomacy skills requires practice and good judgement. These skills
are not limited to
use in formal communications, such as in the workplace:
tact and diplomacy are also important when developing and maintaining
friendships, romantic relationships and relationships in the family.
In interpersonal relationships, the words tact and diplomacy are used
interchangeably and have broadly the same meaning.
DEFINING TACT AND DIPLOMACY
The ability to assert your ideas or opinions,
knowing what to say and
how to say it without damaging the relationship by causing offence.
“TACT IS THE ART OF MAKING A POINT
WITHOUT MAKING AN ENEMY.”
Isaac Newton
“DIPLOMACY IS THE ART OF LETTING
SOMEBODY ELSE HAVE YOUR WAY.”
David Frost
53
2.
ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SKILLS
PREREQUISITES FOR SUCCESSFUL TACT
AND DIPLOMACY
As well
as a level of common sense, good judgement and practice in various
situations, the effective use of tact and diplomacy relies on some other key
skills, including:
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