Student’s problems solution

Tactic #1: Mirroring- Mirroring is where you repeat the last 3 words or the 3 keywords of what someone said. This invites them to continue talking and causes them to want to give more information.

Example:

Student: I wasn’t talking!
Teacher: You weren’t talking?
Student: No, Sally was talking. She always talks!
Teacher: Sally always talks?
Student: Yeah, I can’t stand sitting next to her. She is always distracting me.
Teacher: Sally distracts you?
Student: Yes, can I move seats?

Tactic #2: Open Questions — Use “what” or “how” questions to continually push the problem back to the student. This will keep them using their own brainpower instead of yours. Here are some good questions:

- How am I supposed to do that?
- What am I missing here?
- What can we do to make this work?
- That doesn’t work for me. How can we make this work?

Step 3: Embrace the silence and repeat step 2 as necessary.

Let’s face it, you’re a teacher and you want to start lecturing at this point.

DON’T!

If there is silence, embrace it for as long as possible. The student will hate the silence and start giving more information. Keep repeating the tactics from step 2 until you have the following information:

1. 
   What actually happened in the classroom according to the student.
   
2. 
   Why that could be a problem according to the student.
   
3. 
   How the student feels about the situation.
   
4. 
   What the student needs or wants.
   
5. 
   Some solutions to the problem according to the student.
   

Don’t assume anything, let the student do the talking and listen to what they say.

Step 4: Find a solution or deliver a happy consequence.

There have been times when I have done this, and the student comes up with a solution that works better than a demerit (sometimes it is even more strict than a demerit). The student owned the solution and the problem is solved.

Things don’t always go as planned

As amazing as the tools are above, teaching is not always that easy. Sometimes the student just won’t see the problem or that what they did was severe. Sometimes even with their solution, they still need another consequence. Your anger at the situation deserves to be heard too (as long as it is calm anger and not reactive anger), and your “No” should be respected.

Give the student a chance, but if they don’t respond, or need a tougher consequence, give them demerits (or whatever system your school uses). Just make sure you do it with a sincere smile and a calm low FM-DJ voice.

Conclusion

Active listening is a powerful tool, but it takes practice. You won’t get it right on the first try, so be sure to try every day. Also, students will often see through your tactics, especially if you are faking it. Be as sincere with your empathy as possible. You don’t have to agree with the student to understand their point of view.

Don’t give up. Even if the students revert back to rebelling, keep trying.

Often, students (or everyone for that matter) rebel because they want to be heard. They have an underlying need or want. Active listening is the basis for healthy communication, and will help you uncover what is really going on with the student. Use active listening to help them own the solution and find lasting change.