Bui sag'ringga qarayman
Kuyovll qlz yotguday,
Bumlngdan chlqqan damlngga
Karrak bossa yonguday,
Qutoqlarlng orasldan
Qo'shteglrmon suv o'tguday!..
Blrodariar, ashula khldagl ot bor-ku? O'sha o'zlmlznlng Tarion, hal
Ana, Tarion dlrtt-dlrk o'ynadl. Beponyon Vaxshlvor adlrlarlga qarab klshnadl. Zalvorll
adlrlardan aks sado keldl...
Yo, slznlng otlnglz-da blznlng Tarlondayml? Blznlng Tarlonga kelbat beradlml? Unda,
slznlng otlnglz-da ashula bo'llbdl-da? Ahay-ahayl
Hadeb otnl ashula qlla berlsh bo'lmas! Endl chavandozlarga-da o'tayln! Klmnl ashulaga
solsam ekan? Shu burchakda o'y surlb o'tlrgan Odlna chavandoznl ashulaga
solsammlkln? O'ttlznl urib qo'ydl, hall-da uylanmadll Blr qltig’lga tegaylnl Zora, yigltllk
g'ururi varaja qllsal Ahay-ahay!
Qldlrtb chopsang blror кип
65
to'itl yo'q aTochl Qodlrov Qoiaqul bo'latuhb, shunga-da farosatlng yetmadlml, deylnml?
Omon sumaychlnlng qlzl bllan paitanlng ostidan xat ollshlb-xat bertshlb tuilshga yetgan
aqllrtg shunga yetmay qoldlml, deylnml? Mendayin blr kal bo'lsang ekan, aqll sochl bllan
qo'shlllb to’klllb ketgan desam, deylnml? Kallang to'la ]un bo'lsa, deylnml?
Oemayln, demaylnl Qaynlga llkls gapirib bo'ladlml...
Opasl blzdal
67
Tarionnl mlndlm, suvlnl tushlrlsh bllan mashg'ul bo'ldlm.
Ko'pkarilarga mlnlb bordlm.
Borsam-da, chopmadlm. Blrovlar otlda chopdlm.
Vaxshlvordagl blr ko'pkarida-da shunday bo'ldl.
Mag'ribdagl oppoq tog' Keragatog' bo'ldl. Keragatog' Hlsor tog'lari davoml.
Keragatog'nl yaqln deb bo'lmaydl. Purvlqorllgldan blr qadam bo'llb ko'rlnadl.
Keragatog'dagl mayda-mayda olachlporiar archa bo'ldl. Asllda archalar-da mayda emas.
Ollsdan mayda ko'rlnadl. Archalar ulkan-ulkan, bo'yl qayrag'ochday keladl. Bell odam
bellday keladl.
Qlrlar, adlrlar qor bo’ldl. Amlriar o'nglridagl Qorbosdl dashtlda qora bo'ldl. Etlk ko'mar
qor bo’ldl.
Qorda Jonlvorlar Izl bo'ldl. Izlar tevaraglda tovuq patlari sochlllb yotdl. Bular tulkllar Ishl
bo'ldl. Besh panjall Izlar bo'rlnlkl bo'ldl.
Osmon yuzl poklza bo'ldl.
Boshlmlzda kun yondl. Kun betlga qarab bo'lmadl. Ballq tangaslday-ballq tangaslday qor
uchqunlari yllt-yllt etdl, ko'zdan yosh oqlzdl.
Tevarak moyakdayln ravon, supradayln oq bo'ldl. Qayer chuqur, qayer o'r, blllb
bo'lmadl.
Ko'ngllmga hadlk tushdl. Uloqqa oyog'lm tortmadl. Kellshga-ku keldlm, endl chopayln,
dedlm. Chopadlgan bo'ldlm.
Jo ra boboning otlda choplshnl azm etdlm.
— Ko'zlngga qarab chopl — dedl Jo'ra bobo.
Ko'ngllmga yanada hadlk tushdl. Telpaglmnl qoshlmgacha bostlrib, ko'zlmnl kundan
pana etdlm. Ichlmda kallma qaytardlm. Supraday oppoq dashtda uymalashayotgan qop-
qora to'daga qarab yurdlm.
Chavandozlar bllan otlar nafasl bug'lanlb-bug'lanlb yoylldl. Otlar choplshlnl ko'rib,
otlarga rahmlm keldl, kulglm-da keldl. Otlar oyog'lnl qordan zo'rg'a oldl. Tor-tor odlm
otdl. Yo'rtlb yurayotganday bo'ldl. Zabtll-zabtll chopolmadl. Oyog'l qorga botib-botlb
qoldl.
Qor, ot ko'zlnl shafaqlatdl, ot ko'zlnl oldl.
Uloqqa ko’ngllm chopmadl. Chetroqda tomoshago’y bo'llb turdlm.
Shunda, ajab Ыг chavandoz ko'rdlm. Qo'llmnl qoshlm ustlga qo'ylb ko'rdlm.
Chavandoz ostldagl ot maydaglna, yermlttl ot bo'ldl. Sariq Junlari buzoqnlkld
uzun bo'ldl.
Uzanglslz shekllll, chavandoz oyog'l qorga shalvlrab-shalvlrab turdl.
Kulglm keldl. Bu chavandoz klm bo'ldl ekan, deya yaqlnroq borib qaradlm. Chavandoz
betiga qarab, angraylb qokllm. Kulglm qochlb ketdl. Bu chavandoz... o'sha qatron bo'ldl!
Qatron kal bu yoqlarda nlma qlllb yuribdl?
To'da naryog'lda turgan Jo'ra bobo oldlga bordlm. Jora bobodan so'radlm.
Jo'ra bobo qo'l slltab Javob berdl.
— Blr yaxshlga Ыг yomon her yerda bor. Darrov tanldlngml? — dedl.
— Kalladosh bo'lgandan keyln tanlymlz-da... - dedlm.
Qabatlmdagl blrov gapga aralashdl:
— Shu, boshqarmanlng eskl boshllg'lml? O'zlm ham aytdlm-a, blr gap bor deb.
— Nlma bo'ptl?
— Kal deganlmnl ko'ngllnglzga olmang-u, Zlyodulla chavandoz, bu kalnlng yuzl qurslnl
Ana, xalqnlng qarg'lshl urdl!
— Indamagin kalga — o'zl kelar holga, deydllar.
— Otanglzga rahmat. Ana, ko'chada ltday tentlrab qoldl.
— Nlma slzlarga-da kellb edlml?
— Eha, slz so'ramang, men aytmayln! Otlaml qlyratlb ketdll Shu to'y xo'jasl oshnasl
bo'ladl, bunlyam otl qolmadll Bechora o'shanda otl ketldan ylg'lab qoldll Kal endl to'ylga
kellb o'tlrlbdll Bllmayman, qaysl yuz bllan keldl. O'zl, kallasl bllan yuzlnlng farql yo'q
ekan...
— unga o'zl otnl klm berdl?
— O'zl so'radl. O'zl dlr-dlr qaltlraydl, botlnkaslnl botlnkaslga uradl. G'lrt mast! Hojlqulboy
ham bopladl! Hurmat qllgan bo'lib, blr eshakday otnl o'ngladl. Slz kattaslz, yaqlnroqdan
borib ko'pkarlnl nazorat qlllb turing, dedl. Bechora Ishonlb, ko'pkariga rahbarilk qllganl
keldl.
— Otdan tushsa ham, egardan tushmaydl...
Chavandozlar otlnl zo'r berib nlqtadl, sag'rislga qamchl bosdl. Hayqlrtqlar berlb, uloqqa
choriadl.
Bakovul to'danl aylanlb, haybarakallachl bo'ldl:
— Ot qo'yl Ha, ot qo'yl
Qatron kal, hayqlrib choriayotgan chavandozlaml tartlbga chaqlrib turdl:
— Shovqln, o'rtoqlar, shovqlnl Shovqln kamroq bo'lsln! — dedl.
Blr chavandoz otl uloqqa bora bermadl. Shunda chavandoz otlnl qamchl ostlga oldl.
— He, padar la’natll Mana, bo'lmasa, mana! — dedl.
Qatron kal chavandozga ogohlantlrish berdl:
— So'klnmang, o'rtoq chavandoz! Bu yer Jamoat Joy 11 — dedl.
Chavandoz eshltmadl.
Ammo bakovul eshltdl. Qatron kalga xo'mraylb-xo'mraylb qaradl.
— Kal o'zlnl ovutar - qo’ltlg'lnl sovutar, deganl shu-da - deya to'ng'llladl.
70
Blrodarlar, ko'ngllmda armon bolaladl!
Tarlon yaxshl bo'lsa edl, uloqqa solardlm... Qatron kalga blr ko'rsatlb qo'yardlm...
Jo'ra bobonlng To'rig'l gljlngladl. Jllovnl sllklb, uloqqa talplndl. To'riq uloq aylrglsl keldl!
Bunday vaqtda otnl yo'ldan qaylrish Insofdan bo'lmaydl. Otnl suvga ollb borib, quruq
qaytarlb kellsh bo'ladl. Oqlbat, ot yomon o'rganadl. Uloqdan, chavandozdan ko'ngll
qoladl.
Jo'ra
bobonlng To'rig'l Jllovnl tag'ln sllkldl. Shunda, to'daga soldlm.
Uloqnl blr saman Bumoch bllan baravar ollb chlqdlm! Saman Bumoch abjlrroq bo'ldl.
Go'yo uloqnl ollb ketmoqchlday bo'ldlm. Jo'ra bobonlng otlga ayqlrlb qamchl bosdlm.
— Ha, Jonlvor-a! - dedlm.
Jo'ra bobonlng otl uloqdan keylnda qollb ketdl.
Men xo’Jako’rslnga bosh Irg'adlm! Qamchlll qo'llmnl alamll slltadlm. Go'yo, hay, attang-
a, omad kullb boqmadl, dedlm. Omaddan nollgan bo'ldlm.
Zlrq, zlrql..
Xayriyat, xayrlyat-e, ko'pkari sob bo'ldl!
73
O'zlmlznlng Tarionnl mlnlb, uyga keldlm.
— Choplb boiib, do'xtlml aytlb kellnglar! - dedlm. Xudoyqul do'xtlr Ыг qutlcha ko'tarlb
keldl. Og'rlq qo'llm yenglnl sllklb tortdl.
Men Ingrab yubordlm!
Zlrq, zlrql..
Yenglm hadeganda sug'lrila bermadl. Shunda, Xudoyqul do'xtlrga plchog'lmnl ollb
Do'xtlr yenglmnl ptchoq sollb aylrdl.
Tlrsaglm yo'g'onllgl sog' tlraaglmdan uchov keklll Tlreaglm tlrslllagan shlsh bo'ldl!
Xudoyqul do'xtlr bosh chayqab-bosh chayqab, menl mashlnaslga soldi. «Xazorbog'»
sovxozl bemorxonaslga ollb bordl.
Do'xtlriar shlshgan qo'llmnl Ыг apparat ostlga qo'ylb ko'rdl.
— Ko'p qo'rqmang, tlrsakdan chlqlbdl, xolos, — dedl.
Qo'rqarmldlm-e, qo'rqarmldlml Qo'llm chlqqanlnl otdan ylqlllboq blllb edlm!
Blrodarlar, og'zlng qora qon bo'lsa-da, g'anlmnlng oldlda tupurma!
74
Shu yotlshlmda ylglrma kundan ko'p yotdlm.
Nlhoyat, do'xtlriar glpsnl oldl, uyga Javob berdl.
Ko'ngll so'rab keluvchllarga qo'llmnl yalang'ochlab ko'rsatdlm. Hasan bobo qo'llmnl
aylantlrib ko'rdl.
— Eb-ey, qlyshlq-kul - dedl Hasan bobo.
Etlbor berlb qaradlm, qo'llm chlndan-da tlrsaglmdan qlyshlq bo'ldl.
— Qurbon tablbga bor, nlma gapllglnl aytadl, - dedl Hasan bobo. Ertalab Tarionnl
mlndlm. Qoraxonga yo'l oldlm.
75
Blr vaqtlarl Qoraxonda Xldlr deglch bo'ldl. Odamlar uni Xldlr mlrob, dedl. O'zl, mlrobllk
qllardl-da!
Ana shu Xldlr mlrob chlqqan suyaklaml Joylga soldi, slngan suyaklaml davoladl.
Shu odam ketdll Qayoqqa? Qayoqqa bo'lardl, qlyomatga-dal
Shunday odam-da ketdl-ya! Heel) Ishonglm kelmaydl! Men, bunday odamlar dunyo
turguncha turadl, deb o'yladlm. Keyln-keyln bllsam, blrov-da bu dunyoga ustun
bo'lolmas edl...
Shu odamdan Qurbonnazar degan o'g'll qoldl. Qurbonnazar otaslnlng qo'llnl ollb qoldl.
Otasl og'zlga tupurgan bo'lsa ajab emas!
O'zl, ralsl Lekln men ralsman, demaydl! Kattaga-da blr, klchlkka-da blr!
Shu odamnlng darvozaslnl qamchl dastasl bllan taq-taq urdlm. Ichkarldan Ыг zalfa
choplb qo'ysanglz, ot Ichlda moy to'llb qoladl. Sunday otnl-da blr yilgacha ko'pkarida
choplb bo'lmaydl.
— Ha-a, Ot odamnl bosmaydl, nlmaga shunday?
— Bolsl, ot odamzotnl ulug'laydl. Odamzotga vafo qlladl. Hayvonlar Ichlda ot bllan It
shunday. Plshaknl-da shunday deylshadl. Men bu gapga qo'shilmayman. Pishak
suyuqoyoq ayolday gap. Kim qomlni to'yg'azsa bo'ldl, plsh-plsh, deya boshlnl sllasa
bo'ldl, ketldan ergashlb keta beradi. Eshlk egaslnl tanlmaydl, pishak bekaslnl tanlmaydl.
Keyln ot joylda taqqa to'xtay oladl. Eng yaxshl mashlna qaysl mashlna? O'lmang! Ot
tormozl, ana shu «Chayka» tormozldan-da yaxshl Ishlaydl. Oldlda odam borllglnl
ko'rdlml, bo'ldl, taqqa to'xtaydl. Bordl-yu, dovdlrab qolsa, odam usUdan oshlb o'tadl.
— Ha-a. Aytishlaricha, ayol boqqan ot yaxshl bo'lar emlsh. Shu chlnml?
— Esa-chl. Bolsl, ot sag'all kam odamday bo'ladl. Qonlda plchaglna devnlng qonl bor,
xolos. Otga yem berganl borsak, и hamlsha blzga suykanadl, erVallk qllglsl keladl. Blznl
Iskaydl, duml bllan yelkamlzga uradl. Shunda biz uni tek o'tlr-e, sabll qolgur, deb
qamchllaymlz. Bu qllig'lmlz otga malol keladl. Ayol blzga nozlanlb suykalasa, shunda uni
jerklb tashlasak, ayolga qanday malol keladl? Ot ham shunday-da! Ot ko'ngll ayol
ko'ngllday nozlk bo'ladl. Ayollar bo'lsa, otnl urmaydl, otnlng erkaslnl ko'taradl. Ayolnlng
muloylm tablatl otga xush kellb qoladl. Ayol boqqan otnlng yaxshl bo'llshlga yana blr
sabab, ayol hamlsha uyda bo'ladl. Ayol Ichkarl klradl, tashqari chlqadl. Otnlng ko'zl
ertadan kechgacha ayolga tushlb turadl. Ayol ot kishnaganda darrov yemlnl beradi,
suvlnl beradi. Biz erkaklamlng bo'lsa, uyda borilglmlzdan, uyda yo'qllglmlz ko'p bo'ladl.
A-a-ay, o'ldlm-e!...
Tlrsaglmda Ыг nlma qlrs etdl. Vujudlm qlzldl, peshonamdan ter chlqdl. Qurbonnazarga
qaradlm. Qurbonnazar kullmslb turibdl.
— Ana endl qo'llnglz yaxshl bo'ldl, — dedl Qurbonnazar.
Ana shundaglna Qurbonnazar menl ]o'rttaga gapga sollb, menl gap bllan alahsltganlnl
blldlm.
Menl, aldab-avraganlnl blldlm...
Xlyla yotdlm. Og'riq tlndl. Shundan keyln Joylmdan turdlm.
Qurbonnazar qo'llmnl Ipga sollb, bo'ynlmga oslb qo'ydl. Oori-da khlrmadl, Igna-da
suqmadl, rasmga-da turishmadl.
— Vrachlar qo'llnglz chlqqanlnl ko'rib-blllb glpsga solgan, — dedl. — Vrachlar hamlsha
shunday qlladl. Kltoblarida shunday yozllgan-da. Agar kelmaganlnglzda qo'llnglz hadeb
qo'zg'ala berib-qo'zg'ala berib, o'ynama bo'llb qolardl. Endl butunlay bltlb, asllday
bo'ladl. Oz-ozdan mo'mlyo tanovul qlllb turlng, suyakka madad bo'ladl...
Oqshom qo'rtguncha gurunglashlb o'tlrdlm.
Keyln, otlanlb qaytdlm. Qaytayotganlmda Qurbonnazar bot-bot taylnlandl:
— Tag'ln, qo'llnglznl solganlmnl blrovga aytlb yurmang. Yaxshl bor, yomon bor... —
dedl.
Uyga borgunlmcha o'ylab bordlm. Ay, do'xtlriar-e, nlmaga qo'llm chlqqanlnl ko'ra-blla
turlb glpsga soldlng? Ko'ra-blla turib qotirib tashladlng? Bllasan, chlqqan suyak Joylga
tushmasa, hadeb qo'zg'ala beradi! Odamnl yarimjon qlllb qo'yadl! Umr bo'yl qlynadl!
Bllmasang, Qurbonnazardan so'rab bll! Yo Qurbonnazar tablbga bor, de! Choplb kela
beraman!
Bovujud, Qurbonnzariar bor... Hall-hall Qurbonnazar bor, keyln-keyln nlma qllamlz?
76
Blrodariar, uchastka mllltslonerimlz odam bo'llb qoldl!
Ha, odam bo'llb muomala qlldl, odam bo'llb gaplrdl.
— Qanday, Jlyanlar katta bo'layaptlml, suyaklar yengllml, aka?... — dedl.
— Shukur, shukur. - dedlm.
— Ikki marta kellb ketdlm...
— Ayollmiz aytdl, yo'qladl, dedl.
— Chavandozchlllkda shunday-shunday bo'ladl-da, aka. Odamlar samolyotdan tushlb
ketayaptl. Slz ylqllsanglz, otdan ylqlllbslz-da.
— Shunday, shunday...
— Qalay, endl tuzuk bo'p ketdlnglzml, aka?
— Shukur, shukur?
— Unda, rayondan blr xabar ollng, aka. Kapltan ko'p so'radl, aka.
— Mayllnglz, Inlm, mayllnglz.
Endl, blr dushman ko'zl qllayln, dedlm. Qo'llmdan Ipnl ollb tashladlm. Qo'llmnl qo'ynlmga
sollb oldlm.
Otlanlb, rayon bordlm.
Kapltan katta eshlgldan Ichkarlladlm. Ichkarida o'sha beqasam choponllk odamnl
ko'rdlm. Bechora, yuzlaii yarasl hall-da bitmabdl, bechora...
Beqasam choponllk menl tanlmadl. Kapltan katta tanltdlrdi.
Shunda, beqasam choponllk menl bot-bot bag'rlga bosdl. Klpriklari nam bo'ldl...
Blqlnma-blqln o'tlrlb dardlashdlm. Zot-boborakotlnl, mazglllnl so'radlm. Beqasam
chopon- Ilk «Navoly» kolxozldan bo'ldl, oti Rahmon bo'ldl.
Rahmonboynlng ko'ngll buzlldl. Ovozl qaltlrab chlqdl:
— O'la-o'lgunlmcha slzga qulluq qlllb o'taman, mana ko'raslz, — dedl.
— Urtday demang-e, nlma karomat ko'rsatdlmkln, menga qulluq qllaslz, — dedlm.
Kapltan katta Ishlarinl aytlb bordl. Ishlar deyaril hal bo'llbdl. Bezorllaml ushlab, Rahmon-
boyga yuzma-yuz qlllbdl. Rahmonboy shular edl, debdl. Lekln bezorilar tonlbdl, ayblnl
bo'ynlga olmabdl.
Gap menda qollbdl.
— Hozlr ollb keladl, - dedl kapltan katta.
Aytganlday. blr mlllltsloner bo'zbolalaml haydab ketdl. Blrovl o'tlrmoqchl bo'ldl.
Kapltan katta:
— Tur, tur deyman! — deb baqlrlb berdl.
Bo'zbola qo'llarinl qovushtlrlb qotlb qoldl.
— Manavl odamnl tanlyslzml?! — dedl kapltan katta.
Bo'zbolalar men tarafga slglr qarash qlldl.
— Tanlmaymlz, — dedl.
Kapltan katta menga yuzlandl.
— Shularml? - dedl.
— Shular, ha, shular, — dedlm.
— Ollb keting bulaml! - dedl kapltan katta.
Mllltsloner bo'zbolalaml haydab ketdl.
Kapltan katta menga javob berib yubordl.
— Xo'sh, slzga katta rahmat, aka. Tergov tugagach, delonl sudga oshlramlz. Sud kunl
bordl-yu chaqlrsalar, Ыг kellb keting.
— Men slzga aytsam, kapltan katta, shuncha kun mazam bo'lmadl. Shertglm menlng
navbatlmda-da qo'y boqdl. Odamnlng yuzl chldamayaptl...
— Xo'sh, tushunaman, aka, tushunaman. Slz sudda bo'lmasanglz ham bo'ladl. Lekln
anavl tlrrtqlar ko'p Ishlaml bo'ynlga olmasllgl mumkin. Ish yana lanj bo'ladl. Slz sudda
savol tug'llganda ha yo yo'q, deb tursanglz bo'ldl. Slzdan boshqa jonll guvoh yo'q. Mana
shu blrodarlnglz uchun yana Ыг kelasiz, endi.
Blrodarlar, kapltan katta Jon )oylmdan ushladl! Blllbml, bllmayml, Ishqlllb, blrodarlnglz
uchun, dedl! Shu gap ko'ngllmnl oldil Rahmonboy blrodarlmlznl deb, yo'q demadlm.
Rahmonboy blrodarlmlz menl uylga yetakladl.
— Mazam yo'qroq, boshqa vaqt borarman, blrodar, — dedlm.
— Unda, blror kun o'zlm uylnglzga boraman, to'n yoplshlb og'a-lnl bo'lamlz, — dedl.
— Shunday-da og'a-lnl, blrodarmlz, — dedlm.
Mllltsiya mashlnasl eshlglmlzga kelganlnl el blldl.
Blrodarlar, elnlng qulog'l elllkta!
El ajablandl, el hadlkslradl...
Duv-duv gap bo'ldl...
Blrodarlar, yomon gap, raketadan oldln yuradl, yaxshl gap, toshbaqadan keyln yuradl!
Xufton vaqtl-xufton vaqU uzangl yo'ldoshlarim bllan hamsoyamlz Rlxslyev ko'ngll so'rab
keldl.
Ayollmlz dasturaon yozdl.
Bo'lg'usl bojamlz Odlna chavandoz ayollmlzdan nam tortlb, yerga qarab o'tlrdi.
Uzangl yo'ldoshlarim gapnl nlmadan boshlashlnl bllmadl. Istlhola qlldl.
Shunda, Rlxslyev gapnl Indallosldan boshladl:
— Slznl mllltsiya mashlnasl uylnglzdan ollb ketlbdlml, o'rtoq Qurbonov? — dedl.
— Bekor gap-el - dedlm.
— Ana, hamma shunday deyaptl-yu?
— Ollb ketgan yo'q, ayUb ketdl. Men avtobusda bordlm, — dedlm.
Farosat etsam, el og'zlda ko'p gap bo'llbman. Elga blr gap tegmasln. Chlblnday gapnl
tuyaday qlllb gaplradl. El og'zlga elak tutlb bo'lmaydl. Endl bor gapnl aytayln...
Aytlb-aytlb berdlm. Blr gapnl-da qoldlrmadim!
Uzangl yo'ldoshlarim dlldo'z so'zlar aytdl, dlldo'z gaplar aytdl.
— Xo'p juvonmardllk bo’ptl-da! - dedl.
Rlxslev bollshdan tlrsaglnl oldl. Chavandozlarga slglrqarash qlldl.
— Katallzatoriar! — dedl. - Bu, sargardon- llk-ku, sargardonllk!
— Sargardonllgl bo'ptlml, shu bahona Tarlon Ikkovlmlz shahaml sayll qlllb kelayapmlz,
— Aha, u falsafanglznl boshqalarga o'qlrtg, o'rtoq Quibonov. Sayll emlsh! Bunday Ishlar
turgan-bltganl g'alva, sargardonllk!
— Sayll-da - sayll, sargardonllk-da - sayll.
— Slz endl ko'rayotgandlrslz-da? Aha, men shaharda yashayotganlmda bunday
Ishlamlng blr nechtaslga duch kelganman. Slzdan yaxshl bllaman, oqlbatl nlma
bo'llshlnl! Blr dam ollshda blznl paxtaga ollb bordl. O'zlnglz bllaslz, blr kunllkka borgan
hasharchllar paxta termaydl. Ichlb, kayf-safo qlllb qaytlb keladl. Men ham taglmga
qo'ylsh uchun Ikkl kllocha paxta terlb, etaglmdagl paxtaga yonboshladlm, mudrab
yotdlm. Shunday pastlmdan blr daryo loyqa suv oqayaptl. Shunda, daryo bo'ylda Ikkl-
uchta qora ko'rlndl. Ko'zlmnl kattaroq ochlb qaradlm. Blznlng hasharchllar emas, shu
yemlng ylgltlarlga o'xshadl. O'zlarlcha Ыг-Ыг1аг1п1 turtklladl. Hazlllashayaptl, deb o'yla-
dlm. Asllda urlshayaptl ekan. Ikkltasl blttaslnl o'rtaga ollb urdl. Tayoq yeyayotganl
yoqalab qochdl. Daryo ustldan blr Inglchkaglna truba o'tar edl, shu trubadan qochdl.
Truba o'rtalarida muvozanatlnl yo'qotdl. Goh o'ng, goh chap qo'llnl ko'tarlb-ko'tarlb,
suvga tushlb ketdl. Boshqalari qochdl. Bola suv yuzlda goh ko’rlnlb, goh yo'qollb oqdl.
Blr katta Rahmon blrodarimlznl so'roqqa tutdl:
— Aytlng-chl, nega voyaga yetmagan bolanl urdlngiz? — dedl.
— Urganlm yo'q, kalla qlldlm, — dedl Rahmon birodarlmlz.
— Barlblr, urgan hlsoblanadl. Yuzlda Jarohat bor. Pullnglznl o'g'iriagan ekan, yana tag'ln
ushlab ollbslz ekan, mllltslyaga topshlrlsh kerak edl!
— Kuchlm yetmadl.
— urishga yetgan kuchlnglz, mllltslyaga yetaklab borishga yetmadlml?
— Uch blrday yigltga qanday qlllb kuchlm yetadl?
— unda mllltslyaga telefon qlllng edl. Yokl, odamlranl yordamga chaqlring edl. Ana,
ko'cha to'la odaml
— Odam? Qanday odam? Qanl odam...
Rahmon birodarlmlz gaplrolmadl. Olmog'l to'llb keldl. Ovozl Ichlga tushlb ketdl. Yengl
bllan ko'zlarinl artlb-artlb oldl.
— Blr soat tanaffusl - dedl kattalar.
O'tlrib-o'tlrlb, qomlm ochqadl. Choyxonaga qarab yurdlm.
Men choy Ichlb qayta berdlm, odamlar suddan chlqlb kela berdl.
Oemak, sud sob bo'ptl, endl sud oqlbatlnl so'rayln, dedlm. Rahmon blrodarimlznl qldlr-
Shunda, blr to'da momolar bllan ayollarga ro'para keldlm. Momolar sel-sebor ylg'ladl.
Peshonalariga urib-urlb ylg'ladl. Tlzzalariga mushtlab-mushtlab ylg'ladl...
Blldlm, bular ana shu bo'zbolalar momosl bo'ldl, ana shu bo'zbolalar onasl bo'ldl.
Men ana shu ko'z yoshlar oqlshl uchun o'zlmnl aybdor deb blldlm. Yoshlar to'la ko'zlarga,
yoshlarga belangan yuzlarga qarab turolmadlm...
Blrodaiiar, barmog'lmnlng qaysl blrinl Ushlasam-da og'rlydl!
Ohlsta-ohlsta ketlmga qayrlldlm.
Tarionlmlz oldlga bordlm. Otlanlb, qlshloqqa qaytdlm. «в-Mart» kolxozldan o'tib,
Hayrondaraga doxll bo'ldlm.
Tevarak mayda-mayda adlrlar bo'ldl. Arg'amchlday yo'l blr yuqorlladl, blr adoqladl.
Oqshom vaqtl bo'ldl.
Olamga-da oqshom qo'ndl, ko'ngllmga-da oqshom qo'ndl. Ko'ngllm oqshom day mahzun
bo'ldl.
Belxtlyor ketlmga qayrillb qaradlm. Blr qlzll mashlnanl ko'rdlm. Etlbor bermadlm.
Adlrga o'riadlm. Adlr qoq ustlda tag'ln ketlmga qayrillb qaradlm. Mashlna qorama-qora
keldl.
Adlrdan enlb boshladlm. Adlr tlkkallgktan Tarion o'zlnl ketlga tashlab-tashlab у urdl. Old
oyoqlarinl og'lr-og'lr bosdl.
Adlr adog'lga tushdlm. Mashlna adlr ustlda imlllab qoldl. Hayron bo'ldlm. Mashlna deganl
tez yurar bo'lardl, bu mashlna xlyladan buyon blr otdan o'tolmaydl. Yo, blron yeri
rtosozmlkln?
Yo'lnl keslb o'tadlgan ariqqa keldlm. Arlqdan loyqa suv oqlbdl. Ichl qlp-qlzll loy bo'llbdl.
Loy ot tlzzaslga keladl.
Shu bols, Tarlonnl ariqqa sdmadlm. Arlqdan hatlattlrmoqchl bo'ldlm. Ammo bu
nlyatlmdan-da qaytdlm. VaJI, ariq yoqalarl-da loy. Tarion toylb ketadl.
Aiiq yoqalab, yuqoriladlm. Sayozroq yer qldlrdlm.
Mashlna-da quylga endl. Ariq bo'ylda oyoq lldl. O'tolmasllglnl ЫИ1 shekllll, blznlng
Izlmlzdan yurdl.
Blznlng Tarion torroq blr yerdan cho'chlb o'tdl.
Mashlna Tarion hatlagan yerda oyoq lldl.
Mashlnadagllarga qamchl sopl bllan yuqorinl ko'rsatdlm.
— Yana sag'al yursalarlng yuqorida yoyllma bor! O'shandan mashlna o'tadl!
Shunday deya yo'llmga burildlm.
Shunda, ketlmdan ovoz keldl:
— U, shef! Tormoz!
Ovoznl tanlmadlm. Nlma deyaptl, tushunmadim. Klm bo'lsa-da, Ыг Inson ovoz berayapti,
borayln, dedlm. Artq yoqalab bordlm.
Mashlnadan to'rt odam tushdl. Ikkovl ollsroqdan choplb kellb, artqdan haUab o'tdl.
Tarion hurklb, keylnlga tisarildl.
Keyln, qolgan Ikkovl-da keldl. Barlnlng ko'zlda qora ko'zoynagl bo'ldl. Ko'zlari
ko'rinmadl. Sochlari yelkaslga tushdl, quloqlari sochl ostlda bo'ldl. Klylmlari ajabtovur
bo'ldl. Birovnlng soqollda bo'ldl. O'zlmlzday o'rta yoshll odammlkln, deya slnchlklab
qaradlm. Yo'q, u o'ttizlarda bo'ldl.
— Chaqlrgartday bo'ldllaringlzml, blrodarlar?— dedlm.
Ular mlq etmadl. Soqoldori oldln yurdl.
— Otdan tushlng-chl, shef! — dedl.
— Ayta beringlar, qulog'lm kar emas, — dedlm.
— Tush degandan keyln, tush!
Ulamlng senslrashl ko'ngllmga tegdl. Tusha-tusha, ko'ngllmnl aytdlm.
— Senslramartg, blrodar, salkam otlnglz qatorlman-a, — dedlm.
— He, senday otam qatorinlng...
Qo'llmda Jllov, serraylb qoldlm. Qahrim keldlm. Qamchl soplnl mahkam ushladlm.
— Otlngnl bog'lab, buyoqqa yur!
— Nlma gaplnglz bor, blrodar, shu yerda ayta bering.
— Yur, degandan keyln, yurl
Ular artq yoqalab yuqoriladl. Blrovl-da ko'zoynaglnl olmadl.
81
Jllovnl egar qoshlga qlstlrdlm.
Tarlonnl bo'sh qoldlrdlm.
Keyln, ular oldlga bordlm.
— O'zl klmsfzlar? Klmnlng bolasl bo'laslzlar? O'zlaringnl tanltlrtglar-da axlr, blrodarlar, -
Ular menl o'rab oldl. Go'yo yovvoyl odamnl tomosha qllayotganday bo'ldl. Blrovl o'z-
o'zldan to'ng'lladl. Hall tanlshlb qo'yamlz! - dedl.
Tavba, bulamlng menda nlma Ishl bor ekan? Ertaroq aytmaydlml, kech bo'layaptl...
— Ay, blrodarlar, zaril gaplarlng bo'lsa aytinglar. Bo'lmasa ketayln, bola-baqra alag'da
bo'ladl,— dedlm.
— Ketasan, ketasan, shoshllma. Qaytmaydlgan bo'lib ketasan...
Zardam qaynadl, ketlmga burildlm.
Shunda, ulardan blrovl yo'llmga g'ov bo'ldl. Blrovl chaplmga o'tdl. Ikkovl orallg'ldan o'bb
ketmoqchl bo'ldlm.
Shunda, o'nglmdaglsl yelkamdan g'ljlmlab ushlab oldl.
Men qo'llnl shartlllatlb urib tashladlm.
— Qo'llnglznl ollng, blrodar! — dedlm.
Shunda, и lyaglm ostlga o'xshatlb-da blr urdll
Ketlmga gandiraklab-gandlraklab bortb o'tlrib qoldlm. Noglron qo'llm zirqlrab og'iidi.
Qamchl o'rimlnl qo'llmg o'rab-o'rab Joylmdan qo'zg'oldlm. Shu urgannlng bo'yin tomirinl
mo'IJallab qulochkashladlm.
Ketlmdaglsl qamchlnl ushlab qoldl.
Yana o'tlrib qoldlm. Endl qamchlnl ushlab qolganlga qarab, qo'zg'oldlm.
Shunda blrovl ketlmdan keldl, bellmga tepdl.
Men yuztuban ylqlldlm. Noglron qo'llm zlrqlrab-zlrqlrab og'rldl.
Turib o'tlrdlm. Tevarakka alangladlm. Rayon o'ng yog'lmdagl adlr ortlda bo'ldl.
Ko'rtnmadl. Qlshloq chap yog'lmdagl adlr ortlda bo'ldl. Qlshloq-da ko'rlnmadl. Osmon
boshlmda bo'ldl. Barlblr ollsda bo'ldl.
Xo'rilglm keldl: ay, yolg'lzllgl qursln-a!
Ko'ngllm buzlldl: ay, noglronllgl qursln-a!
O'pkam to'llb keldl. Qo'ynlmdagl noglron qo'llmnl tashqarl chlqardlm.
— Blrodariar, Jo'ra bobonlng otidan yiqlllb, qo'llm chlqlb edl, mana... mana... — dedlm.
Ular xoxolab-xoxolab kuldl. O'zaro gaplrlshdl:
— Bu o'zi unga klm bo'ladl?
— Hech klm? Yo'g'-e?
— Demak, bu o'zkha rltsarllk qllmoqchl bo'llbdl-da?
— o, rltsarl XX asr ritsarl!
— Don Klxot!
— Don Klxotl XX asr Don Klxotl!
Men shundaglna ular klmllglnl blkllm. Qo'llm noglronllglnl aytlb, ylg'lamslraganlarlmga
mlng-mlng pushaymon bo'ldlm...
Yerga qaradlm. Qo'llmnl qo'ynlmga solmadlm. Sog'lom qo'llmdayln yerga tlradlm.
Noglron qo'llm zlrqlllab og'rldl. Tlshlmnl tlshlmga bosdlm. Yuzlarlm lovullab yondl...
Blr balo qlllb, joylmdan turdlm. Oyoqlarida tlk turdlm.
Shunda blrovl Jag'lmga urdl.
Men ketlmga tlsailllb-tlsarillb, bunlslga borlb urildlm.
Bunlsl yelkamdan suyab qollb, harommag'lzlmga urdl.
Gandiraklab-gandlraklab, unlslga bordlm.
Unlsldan lyaglmga yedlm.
Blr aylanlb tushdlm. Osmon glr-glr aylandl. Osmon qop-qora bo'ldl.
Tag'ln turdlm. Dalbanglab-dalbanglab bordlm. Blrevnlng bo'ynlga oslldlm.
— Blrodariar, men slzlarga nlma qlldlm... — dedlm.
Uni Jonlmnlng borlcha quchoqlab turdlm.
U, Ichlmga ko'p musht urdl.
Nafasim hlqlllab bo'llndl. Ichlmda Ыг nlma ezlldl. Qo'llarim bo'shashlb, yelkasldan
sldlrillb tushdl.
Oyog'lmda majollm qolmadl. O'zlmnl yerga chalqancha tashladlm...
— Blrodariar, ayblmnl aytlng, ayblmnl... — deya Ingrandlm.
Bellmga uchll blr nlma zarb bllan tegdl. Keyln blqlnlmga tegdl. Zarb har tekkanda Jonlm
halqumlmga kellb ketdl.
— Blrodariar, men ham odam-ku... — deya Ingrandlm.
82
Shunda... shunda, ot klshnadl.
Umrim ot bllan o'tdl. Hay blr otlaml ko'rdlm, hay blr klshnashlaml eshltdlm.
Ot suvsab klshnadl, ot ochqab klshnadl. Shunda ot ko'ngllnl suv beiib oldlm, ot ko'ngllnl
yem berlb oldlm.
Ot avlod-ajdodlarlnl qo'msab klshnadl, ot ulpl-tomlrtarlnl yo'qlab klshnadl. Otlar ovozlnl
eshltib klshnadl, baytallar havoslnl ollb klshnadl.
Shunda, otnl egarladlm, dasht-u dalalaml aylantlrdlm, ot oyog'lnl yozdlm. Otnl
sovutdlm, otnl yupatdlm.
Ot lion sharpaslnl ollb klshnadl. Uydan otlllb keldlm. Ot yonlnl oldlm, bo'ylnlartnl
uqaladlm. Otga yo'ldosh bo'ldlm.
Ot bo'ri hldlnl ollb klshnadl. Ha, jonlvor, ha, deya ovoz berlb chopdlm. Ot bo'ynlga
qo'llmnl qo'ydlm, ot yollarlnl slladlm. Ot oldlda bo'ldlm. Otga gaplrtb-gaplrtb turdlm,
blrodar bo'llb-bo'llb turdlm.
Klshnash ko'rdlm, klshnashlar ko'rdlm, ammo ushbu oqshomdagldaylnl ko'rmadlm.
Vo darlg'o, bu qandaychlkln klshnash bo'ldl? Klshnash ko'ngll-ko'ngllmnl o'ylb yubordl,
vujud-vujudlmnl qaqshatlb yubordl. Tanamdagl og'iiqlar-da blllnmay qoldl.
Biznlng Tarlonga nlma bo'ldl, blrodarlar? Nlma bo'lsa-da, yomon bo'ldl! Blznlng Tarlon
nlma ko'rdl, blrodarlar? Nlma ko'rsa-da, yomon ko'rdll
Blznlng Tarlon lion ko'rdlmlkln? Yo'q, blznlng Tarlon lion ko’rea bundayln klshnamaydl.
Blznlng Tarton bo'ri ko'rdlmlkln? Yo'q, blznlng Tarlon bo'ri ko'rsa-da, bundayln
klshnamaydl.
Blznlng Tarlon llondan-da yomonlnl ko'rdl, blznlng Tarlon bo'ridan-da yomonlnl ko'rdll
Tarionnl yo'qlab qarayln dedlm. Boshlmnl ko'tarayln dedlm. Bo'lmadl, bo'lmadl!
Ko'zlm osmondallglcha qoldl. Osmon oils, yer qattlq bo'ldl...
Ot uzlb-uzlb klshnadl.
Ko'zlarim tlndl. Bepoyon osmon, beg'ubor osmon qop-qora qozon bo'ldl!
Yuzlmnl chaplmga burdlm. Awal-awal blr nlmada ko'rmadlm. Keyln-keyln oq bllan
qoranl fahmladlm. Ana shunda Tarionnl ko'rdlm.
Tarlon bo'ynlnl gajak-ga)ak qlldl.
Tog'larga qaradl, zorianlb-zorianlb klshnadl.
Tarlon dumlari yoylllb-yoylllb klshnadl, yollari hurpaylb-hurpaylb klshnadl.
Adlriarga qaradl, chortab-chorlab klshnadl.
Tarton quloqlart chlmlrillb-chlmirillb klshnadl, plshqlrib-plshqlrib klshnadl.
Qlshloqqa qaradl, yolvorib-yolvorib klshnadl, zor-zor klshnadl.
Tarton jllovlnl sllklb-sllklb klshnadl, yulqlb-yulqlb klshnadl.
Keyln, men sari yuzlandl. Oyoqlarlnl katta-katta yoydl. Bo'ynlnl cho'zdl. tumshug'lnl
cho'zdl. Quloqlarinl chlmlrdl.
Tarlon zlnklydl!
Old tuyoqlari bllan tarslllatib-tarslllatlb yer tlmadl. Keksaklab-kesaklab yer otdl.
Tuyoqlarl ostl changldl.
Tarlon qahr ham Iztlrob bllan klshnadl. Oqshom klshnashdan zlr tltradl.
Oqshom, Tarlon klshnashldan, Tarton klshnashl, oqshomdan-da mungll bo'ldl,
oqshomdan-da ayanchll bo'ldl.
Uchll zarb, chap tlzzam ko'zlga kellb tegdl.
Chinqlrtb yubordlm. Ko'z oldlm qop-qora bo'ldl...
- Teplb o'tlrasanml, blqlnlga tlqlb ol!..
- E-e-e, otl
- Qoch, ot kelayaptl!
Shunda, tag'ln hushlmga keldlm. Ohlsta ko'zlmnl ochdlm.
Tarton tumshug'lnl cho'zlb zlnklylb, ulaml quvdl. Blrlnl qo'ylb, blrinl quvdl.
Ular ariqdan hatlab qochdl. Blrln-ketin mashlnaslga klrdl.
Ammo blrovl Tarlondan qochib qutulolmadl. Uyoqqa burib soldi, bo'lmadl, buyoqqa borib
soldi, bo'lmadl. Nlma qlllshlnl bllmadl. Oxlrt yerdan nlmadlr ollb, Tarlonnl boshlga blr
urdl.
Tarlon boshlnl sllklb-sllklb ohlstaladl.
Unlsl-da arlqdan hatlab o'tdl.
Tarlon-da arlqdan o'tdl. Mashlna oldlga keldl. Old tuyoqlaii bllan yer tlmab-yer tlmab
klshnadl.
Mashlna g'lzlllab Jo'nadl.
Tarlon mashlna ketldan xlyla yo'lgacha choplb bordl. Keyln, Izlga qaytlb keldl.
Arlqdan o'tlb, boshlmga keldl. Yuzlarlmga tumshug'lnl tekklzlb-tekklzlb ko'rdl. Yuzlarimnl
Iskab-lskab ko'rdl.
Men Tarlon nafaslnl tuydlm. Tumshug'lnl qo'shqo'llab qudioqladlm. Jag'lari, peshonasinl
slladlm.
Shunda, kaftlm ho'l bo'ldl. Ter, ot terl deb o'yladlm. Kaftlmnl ko'zlarlmga ollb kellb
qaradlm. Keyln, Tarlonga tlklllbraq qaradlm.
Tarlon peshonasldan qon slzdl...
Ho'ngrab ylg'lab yubordlm. O'pkamnl bosayln dedlm, bosolmadlm...
8Э
Qosh qoraydl.
Odam odamnl tanlmaydlgan bo'ldl.
Blr amallab chap yonbosh bo'ldlm. Tarlon oyog'lnl quchoqladlm. Tlzzaslga peshonamnl
qo'ydlm. Uzallb, old qopqog'lga shapatlladlm.
Tarlon yelkalarimnl Iskadl. Keyln, ok) oyoqlartnl asta-asta bukdl. Tarlon tlzzaladl!
Men chap qo'llm bllan egar qoshldan oldlm. Egarga ko'kraglmnl berdlm. Tlmtalanlb-
tlmtalanlb egarga bel bo'llb yotdlm. Nafaslmnl rostlab oldlm. Tag'ln qlmtlnlb, oyog'lmnl
egardan oshlrdlm. Tarlonnl quchoqlab oldlm.
Tarlon qaddlnl rostladl.
Shamd boshlmnl yalab o'tdl. Shunda, bosh yalangllglmnl blldlm. Telpaglm yerda qollbdl.
Tushayln dedlm, tag'ln, mlnlshlmnl o'yladlm. Telpaglmga qo'l slltadlm. Belbog'imnl
yechlb, boshlmnl tang'lb bog'lab oldlm.
Katta yo'l chetldan yurdlm.
Bor bo'ylcha qorong l tushdl. Adlriar qop-qora soyaday bo'ldl.
Egarda chayqallb-chayqallb, ko'ngllm shu kechaday zlm-zlyo bo'llb-bo'llb, o'kslb-o'kslb
Tarlon-ay, nlma kunlarga qoldlng-a?...
Tushda bo'layaptlml, yo o'ngda bo'layaptlml?
Sen farqlamasang, men farqlay olmay qoldlm, Tarlon...
Hallgllar qanday Jonzot edl, Tarlonl Sln-slmbatl odamga kelbat beradl. Ust-boshlarl-da
bor. Odamga mayzab gaplradl, odamga mayzab kuladl...
Bllmadlm, Tarlon, bllmadlm. Sen bllmasang, men bllmadlm. Men senl bllaman, Tarlon.
Ular men uchun begone, Tarlon...
Ayo Tarlon, sen menlng ukamsan, ukam.
Bo'ldl, men endl ulaml ukam demayman. Menlng ukam sensan. Sen menlng ukamsan,
Tarlon. O'zl menga o'xshaysan, Tarlon, menga... Ukasl akaslga o'xshaydl-da, Tarlon...
Tarton ukam-ov, endl nlma qllamlz? Endl, bola-chaqaga borib nlma deymlz? El so'rasa
Ayo Tarlon, sen menlng Jlyanlmsan, Jlyanlm.
Bo'ldl, men endl ulaml jlyanlm demayman. Menlng jlyanlm sensan, Tarlon. Sen menga
tortdlng, Tarlon. Jlyan tog'aslga tortmasa, klmga tortadl, Tarion...
Tarlon jlyanlm-ov, yo yo'lde ylqlldlk, deymlzml? Ko'zlarlng bor edl-ku, desalar-ctil? Ariq
toy ekan, toylb ketdlk, deymlz. Blnoylml, Tarlon jlyanlm? Bo'lmasa, elga ermak, xalqqa
shaloq bo'lamlz...
Ayo Tarton, sen menlng akamsan, akam.
Bo'ldl, man endl ulaml akam demayman. Menlng akam sensan, Tarlon. Uka desa
degullk, mendayln ukang bor, aka desa degullk, sendayln akam bor, nlma g'amlm bor,
Ayo Tarlon, sen menlng btrodarlmsan, blrodarlm.
Bo'ldl, men endl ulaml blrodarlm demayman. Menlng blrodarlm sensan, Tarlon...
Ayo Tarlon, sen menlng qlyomatllk blrodarimsan, qlyomatllk blrodarlm...
1979
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