Self study internet Activities Completed

Problems of the Internet Essay

by Katy
(Australia)

Hi, I have given IELTS 4 times and I need 7 each in academic. My latest score was:

R 8.5
L 8
S 7.5
W 6.5

In all my attempts, I have not been able to get 7 in writing. Here is an example of an essay I wrote, could you please advise how I can improve?

Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today’s world, the Internet has become extremely popular. Some people believe, it is beneficial for several reasons while many argue that the disadvantages associated with it cannot be overlooked. I completely agree with the latter part.

On one hand, some people believe that the Internet has been advantageous for many reasons. First of all, it helps communicate with people all over the world. The use of emails, social networking sites and video chatting has enables people to easily and quickly talk to their loved ones even from a far distance. Another benefit to be considered is that it is cheaper than sending mails via post. Furthermore, internet makes it convenient to pay the bills online and saves time as well, so people do not have to go personally to pay the bills.

On the other hand, some people argue that the Internet has many disadvantages. For instance, the younger generation spends a lot of time in front of computer or on their phones which is harmful for their health as it affects their eyesight and also makes them physically inactive. In addition, inappropriate contents on the Internet like violence and obscenity negatively impacts on young people. Furthermore, the increasing number of cyber-crimes is taking place these days. More and more financial crimes are committed via the internet. Another problem the Internet creates is that overuse of it tends to make people isolated as they become unsociable and self-centred.

In my opinion, the disadvantages of the Internet outweigh the advantages, hence, making it harmful to the growth of the youth. Therefore, its consumption should be reduced and people should be protected from the negative effects of internet.