Scatter Brained

EDWARD DE VERE, 17TH 
EARL OF OXFORD 
(1550–1604)
Edward’s proponents point 
out similarities between 
Shakespeare’s plays and de 
Vere’s biography (the latter’s 
father-in-law, Lord Burghley, 
is thought to be the model for 
Hamlet
’s Polonius). Unique 
turns  of  phrase  appear  in 
both Shakespeare’s work and 
Edward’s letters, and passages 
underlined  in  de  Vere’s  Bible  show  up  throughout  Shake-
speare’s  plays.  Compelling  as  this  seems,  however,  de  Vere 
died too soon, in 1604; Shakespeare still had 11 plays to 
write.
Christopher 
 Marlowe:
 A MAN WALKS INTO 
A BARD
OK, let’s get this straight: Mar-
lovians propose that, facing 
the death penalty for heresy, 
Marlowe faked his 1593 
death in a bar fi ght,  adopted 
the pseudonym “William 
Shakespeare,” then penned 
the Bard’s legendary canon. 
While the dates do match 
up  nicely—Shakespeare’s  fi rst 
play, 
Venus and Adonis,
 was 
published in 1594—the fact 
that no famous person is 
known to have ever success-
fully faked his or her death re-
minds one of Occam’s Razor: 
“Given two equally predictive 
theories, choose the simpler.” 
 Dying in a bar fi ght?  Much 
simpler.