Scatter Brained

06
Tobacco Through the Ages
A Timeline
1492:
 Columbus, having sailed the ocean blue, notices Indi-
ans smoking and thus becomes the fi rst known European to 
encounter tobacco. Indians take pains to look “cool” while 
smoking so as to exact a small measure of revenge for their 
coming annihilation.
1556:
 Th
  e fashion-forward French become the fi rst Europe-
ans to take to smoking.
1577:
 By now, European doctors are recommending smok-
ing to combat bad breath and cancer. Th
  at’s right: bad breath 
and cancer.

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15
C H A P T E R   1
1604:
 King James I publishes a scathing indictment of smok-
ing, calling it a “vile custom” and a “fi lthy novelty” that is “dan-
gerous to the lungs.” Tobacco company executives promptly 
swear before the king’s court that there is absolutely no proof 
that smoking is vile, fi lthy, a custom, or a novelty, let alone 
dangerous to the lungs.
1610:
 Sir Francis Bacon notes that it is kind of hard to quit 
smoking.
We’re just going to skip ahead here 384 years to:
1994:
 Seven tobacco executives swear before the United 
States Congress that nicotine is not addictive.
Now, back to our timeline:
1624:
 Pope Urban VIII threatens to excommunicate those 
who snort snuff  because sneezing is too similar to orgasm. 
(Really.)
1724:
 Pope Benedict XIII, a smoker, overturns Urban’s ban 
on tobacco.
1761:
 British scientist John Hill publishes the fi rst study to 
point out that ever since people started snorting snuff , 
there seems to be a lot of nose cancer fl oating around.
1776:
  American  tobacco  is  used  as  collateral  for  French 
loans, helping to pay for the American Revolution.
1890:
 Per capita, American adults chew three pounds of to-
bacco annually.
1912:
 Dr. Isaac Adler publishes research that, for the fi rst 
time, argues strongly that smoking may cause lung cancer. 
Tobacco company executives race to Dr. Adler’s house and 
swear on a stack of Bibles that smoking does no such thing.
1921:
 Tobacco marketing has kicked into high gear: R. J. 

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16
S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
Reynolds spends $8 million on advertising, promoting their 
slogan “I’d Walk a Mile for a Camel” (And, Boy, Would I Be 
Out of Breath).
1940:
 Per capita, American adults smoke 2,558 cigarettes 
per year (more than seven per day).
1950:
  Th
  ree major studies defi nitively prove that smoking 
causes lung cancer.
1963:
 After trying out a tattooed sailor, Philip Morris set-
tles on a cowboy as the Marlboro Man. Beginning in 1975, 
the Marlboro Man is played by Wayne McLaren, who dies in 
1992 at the age of 51 from lung cancer.
1966:
 First Surgeon General’s Warnings appear on cigarette 
packages in the United States.
1971:
 TV and radio tobacco ads for cigarettes disappear as a 
result of 1969 legislation.
2004:
 Despite extensive antismoking eff orts, tobacco smoke 
still kills about 440,000 Americans every year. Leading us 
to . . .