Reclaim Your Heart

T
HE
 E
MPOWERMENT OF
 W
OMEN
When the companion of the Prophet 
entered a town
to bring them the message of Islam, he put it very
beautifully. He said, “I have come to free you from the
servitude of the slave and bring you to the servitude of the
Lord of the slave.”
Within this statement lies a powerful treasure. Locked
within these words, is the key to empowerment and the
only real path to liberation.
You see, the moment you or I allow anything, other than
our Creator, to define our success, our failure, our
happiness, or our worth, we have entered into a silent, but
destructive form of slavery. That thing which defines
myself-worth, my success and my failure is what controls
me. And it becomes my Master.
The master who has defined a woman’s worth, has taken
many forms throughout time. One of the most prevalent
standards made for woman, has been the standard of men.
But what we so often forget is that God has honored the
woman by giving her value in relation to Himself—not in
relation to men. Yet, as western feminism erased God
from the scene, there was no standard left—but men. As a
result the western feminist was forced to find her value in
relation to a man. And in so doing she had accepted a
faulty assumption. She had accepted that man is the

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standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human
being until she becomes just like a man: the standard.
When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair
short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the
army. She wanted these things for no other reason than
because the “standard” had them.
What she didn’t recognize was that God dignifies both
men and women in their distinctiveness–not in their
sameness. When we accept men as the standard, suddenly
anything uniquely feminine becomes by definition inferior.
Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a full-time mother—
a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality
(considered 
masculine) 
and 
selfless 
compassion
(considered feminine), rationality reigned supreme.
As soon as we accepted that everything a man has and
does is better, all that followed was just a knee-jerk
reaction: if men have it—we want it too. If men pray in the
front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in
the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the
imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too.
Somewhere along the line we’d accepted the notion that
having a position of worldly leadership is some indication
of one’s position with God.
But a Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in
this way. She has God as the standard. She has God to
give her value; she doesn’t need a man to do this.

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Given our privilege as women, we only degrade ourselves
by trying to be something we’re not–and in all honesty–
don’t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach
true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and
value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.
And yet, in society, there is another prevalent “master”
which has defined for women their worth. And that is the
so-called standard of beauty. Since the time we were
little, we as women, have been taught a very clear
message by society. And that message is: “Be thin. Be
sexy. Be attractive. Or…be nothing.”
So we were told to put on their make-up and wear their
short skirts. Instructed to give our lives, our bodies, and
our dignity for the cause of being pretty. We came to
believe that no matter what we did, we were worthy only
to the degree that we could please and be beautiful for
men. So we spent our lives on the cover of Cosmo and we
gave our bodies for advertisers to sell.
We were slaves, but they taught us we were free. We were
their object, but they swore it was success. Because they
taught you that the purpose of your life was to be on
display, to attract and be beautiful for men. They had you
believe that your body was created to market their cars.
But they lied.
Your body, your soul was created for something higher.
Something so much higher.

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God says in the Quran: “Verily, the most honored of you in
the sight of God is the one who is most righteous.” (Quran,
49:13)
So you are honored. But it is not by your relationship to
men—either being them, or pleasing them. Your value as a
woman is not measured by the size of your waist or the
number of men who like you. Your worth as a human being
is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and
piety. And your purpose in life–despite what the fashion
magazines say–is something more sublime than just
looking good for men.
Our completion comes from God and our relationship with
Him. And yet, from the time we were little, we, as women,
have been taught that we will never reach completion until
a man comes to complete us. Like Cinderella we were
taught that we are helpless unless a prince comes to save
us. Like Sleeping Beauty, we were told that our life
doesn’t fully begin, until Prince Charming kisses us. But
here’s the thing: no prince can complete you. And no
knight can save you. Only God can.
Your prince is only a human being. God may send him to
be your companion—but not your savior. The coolness of
your eyes—not the air in your lungs. Your air is in God.
Your salvation and completion are in His nearness—not
the nearness to any created thing. Not the nearness to a
prince, not the nearness to fashion or beauty or style.

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And so I ask you to unlearn. I ask you to stand up and tell
the world that you are a slave to nothing—not to fashion,
not to beauty, not to men. You are a slave to God and God
alone. I ask you to tell the world that you’re not here to
please men with your body; You’re here to please God. So
to those who mean well and wish to ‘liberate’ you, just
smile and say: “Thanks, but no thanks.”
Tell them you’re not here to be on display. And your body
is not for public consumption. Make sure the world knows
that you will never be reduced to an object, or a pair of
legs to sell shoes. You are a soul, a mind, a servant of
God. And your worth is defined by the beauty of that soul,
that heart, that moral character. So, you don’t worship
their beauty standards; you don’t submit to their fashion
sense. Your submission is to something higher.
Therefore, in answering the question of where and how a
woman can find empowerment, I find myself led back to
the statement of our Prophet’s 
companion. I find
myself led back to the realization that true liberation and
empowerment lies only in freeing oneself from all other
masters, all other definitions. All other standards.
As Muslim women, we have been liberated from this
silent bondage. We don’t need society’s standard of
beauty or fashion, to define our worth. We don’t need to
become just like men to be honored, and we don’t need to
wait for a prince to save or complete us. Our worth, our

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honor, our salvation, and our completion lie not in the
slave.
But, in the Lord of the slave.

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