Really good try, but overview must involve only a sentence and must be separated from other paragraphs!

The graph highlights data about how much money was earned by three bakeries in London, throughout a decade between 2000 and 2010.

In general, it can be seen that over the period, the earnings of Berrie’s Buns and Robbie’s Bakery improved rapidly more than Lovely Loaves in the whole period. Following this, the income of Lovely Loaves rose marginally to just over $95,000 , after then it declined to around $80,000 in the first three years of period, while that of Robbie’s Bakery remained stable at just under $60,000 during the first five years.

Looking at the details, the amount of earning in Lovely Loaves plunged sharply to around $60,000 , after which was a gradual drop at just under 40,000 in 2008. In addition, at this period, incomes of other two bakeries were remarkable upward to reach the highest points of $60,000 and around $100,000. Likewise, earnings of Robbie’s Bakery and Berrie’s Buns rose gradually in the last three years. However, the income of Lovely Loaves hold stable in this period.

In contrast, Lovely Loaves stayed in the highest point at the beginning of period, whereas Robbie’s Bakery got money more than other two bakeris.

(196 words)

Really good try , but overview must involve only a sentence and must be separated from other paragraphs!

regarding to main body paragraphs you did lots of jumps from category to category that confused the reader. It was really tough for me to follow your ideas! Instead of this, you should summarize all the given information and make a group of information.

estimate score is- 5.5