Pilot S00E01 Good News, Bad News



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163. S09E07 - The Slicer

Guest Stars: Marcia Cross (Sara) Daniel Von Bargen (Kruger) Larry B. Scott (Arthur Milano) David Moreland (Mr. Parry)


Elaine is having nightmares and sleepless nights due to her neighbor's inconsideracy. The neighbor is out of the country and has left her alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m.. George gets a dream job at a very badly run company, his new boss seems familiar to him, then a photo in the boss's office reminds him of "the boom box incident." Fearing that he might lose his new position, George listens to Kramer's advice and plots to get hold of the photograph and get it retouched. Kramer's dissatisfied with the meat he is getting with his sandwiches, so he obtains a meat slicer. Kramer suggests Elaine that she short circuit her neighbor's apartment and blow the circuit breaker. Jerry is going to go out on a date with a doctor that Elaine recommended, but the date is annoying when the doctor can only talk about saving lives. The photo lab screws up the retouching by eliminating the boss from the photograph and not George. Jerry discovers the doctor is dermatologist. George recommends a carefully orchestrated revenge date. Kramer uses the meat slicer to help Elaine feed the neighbor's cat; the power outage shut off the automatic feeder. Jerry's revenge date goes well, until he is reminded of the phrase "skin cancer." Elaine is still using the slicer and finds it very handy, until she tries to even her high heels. George goes back to the photo shop to find they put the boss back in the photograph as a cartoon. He now needs to obtain a new bare-chested photo of his boss or find a new job, perhaps the Coast Guard. Jerry's doctor date would provide the perfect opportunity for him as she does skin cancer screenings. Elaine keeps the slicer problem from Kramer by threatening him with seeing some circus clowns. Later, Kramer goes to her apartment to pick up the slicer; she fixes it and quickly shoves it out the door. Kramer sees the dinged up blade and tries to get back into her apartment, but he takes the knob of the door. Jerry has developed an allergic reaction to something as hives have broken out on his neck. Elaine discovers she is trapped inside her apartment. Jerry goes down to George's workplace and confronts the doctor about his hives. She leaves and Kramer, in his white meat slicing coat, steps in as the skin cancer doctor and spots a growth on George's boss. George gets his bare-chested photo. Kramer wants to come clean about the growth; George tells him he will tell his boss to see another doctor. George's boss doesn't think it is a problem, a ten-year-old photo of him shows the mole, it hasn't changed. He also relates to George the story about the dumb guy on the beach with the boom box. He mentions to George (as others have) that he sure has lost a lot of hair in the past ten years. Despite all of that, he gets to keep the job. Later, the guys keep Elaine company as they wait for the locksmith to come and open her apartment.

b: 13-Nov-97 pc: 907 w: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin s: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin & Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman


NOTE: Viewer Kyle Westphal was the first to note that George says the incident took place in 1989 and Kruger said the picture was from 10 years ago. A difference of two years.

Jeff Holland notes that Kramer again uses the name of Von Nostrand again. He also used it in "The Nose Job" and "The Pilot (1)". Chris Peterson adds that Kramer also used the name again when trying to obtain Elaine's medical records in "The Package".

John "Snapman!!!" Thorpe notes that at the end of the episode, George still appears in the picture if you look closely.

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164. S09E08 - The Betrayal

Guest Stars: Brenda Strong (Sue Ellen) Micheal McShane (FDR (Franklin Delano Romanosky)) Justine Miceli (Nina) Bart Braverman (Zubin) Shaun Toub (Pinter) Noor Shic (Usha) Jocelyne Kelly (Model) Brian Kaiser (Postman) Shelley Malil (Usher) Bill Lee Brown (Partygoer) Wayne Knight (Newman) Heidi Swedberg (Susan)


Jerry, George and Elaine return from their trip to India that they don't want to talk about. Sue Ellen calls the wedding off and Nina doesn't want George or Jerry. George finds out that Jerry slept with Nina and Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer and FDR settle their score, a snowball with something extra. Jerry "schnapps" Elaine to find out why George is so bitter with him. Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George and Nina arrive in India, where Elaine discovers that the groom is someone she slept with and that they are the only people from the U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer is angry with Newman because he didn't use his birthday wish to save Kramer from FDR. George "schnapps" Elaine to find out the secret Elaine is keeping about Jerry and Nina. Elaine buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at her wedding.
Kramer tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer from FDR. Elaine finds that Jerry and Nina have just slept together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen's fiancé who try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after all they aren't even going. Jerry and Nina suffer an awkward pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his birthday wish. Elaine's mail from India is an "unvitation" to Sue Ellen's wedding in India to someone whose name seems familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date and realizes he must where his Timberlands every time he sees her. Jerry and George are walking down the street and they run into Nina and old girlfriend of Jerry's whom he never slept with. Kramer attends FDR's birthday and FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the candles on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India. Two years earlier, Jerry tells George and Susan that Nina might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head with a snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter (Pinter). Eleven years earlier, new resident Jerry tells his neighbor across the hall, whom he calls Kessler (it's the name on the mailbox), that what's mine is yours.

b: 20-Nov-97 pc: 908 w: David Mandel & Peter Mehlman d: Andy Ackerman


NOTE: This episode was shown backwards in the following fashion: all scenes were shown normally, but they were shown in reverse order with a caption indicating the time frame of the scene in relation to the previous scene. Essentially the punch line was delivered and the setup was shown later. The description for the episode reflects the order in which the scenes appear. This was an intriguing concept that forced the viewer to pay closer attention than normal.

Andy Ackerman won the Director's Guild of America Award for this episode.

Kent Yoder e-mailed me that Elaine's boyfriend named Pinter is an obvious reference to that of playwright Harold Pinter whose plays frequently reflect a logical nonsense. He said that Pinter's well known drama, "Betrayal," deals with love triangles as the scenes are performed backwards in time.

Kyle Westphal notes that the part of the episode that took place two years earlier would have occurred between "The Secret Code" and "The Pool Guy" assuming that Jerry, George and Elaine returned on the air date of this episode.

Viewer Rick Marshall wonders why Jerry, the one with the cleanliness fetish, wasn't the character trying to avoid using the bathroom while in India. He also wonders about the name Kessler appearing on the mailbox, shouldn't it have been Buchman? After all, after the broadcast of "The Virgin" we learned that Kramer had sublet his apartment from Paul Buchman in the Mad About You episode called "The Apartment". Did the writer's forget about this little continuity detail? They cleaned up after themselves for the original Kessler reference in "Good News, Bad News" but forgot about the crossover episode!

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165. S09E09 - The Apology

Guest Stars: Megan Cole (Peggy) Kathleen McClellan (Melissa) Jack Hackett (Alan) Michael Fishman (Gregg) David Dunard (Leader) Wayne Wilderson (Walter) Brian Levinson (Andy) Eric Simonson (Friend) John O'Hurley (Peterman) Patrick Warburton (Puddy) James Spader (Jason "Stanky" Hanky)


Jerry's girlfriend walks around his apartment naked; she even eats breakfast and plays Scrabble naked. An old friend of the gang named Jason is going through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and is currently working on step 9, where you make amends to individuals for past wrongs. George is anxious to receive Jason's apology for the humiliating neck-hole incident. Elaine is offended when her co-worker, Peggy, can't tolerate Elaine's germs, but easily tolerates the germs of other people. Kramer discovers he's been taking too long in the shower, so he tries to make some changes to his shower routine. Jerry comes to realize there is good naked and bad naked, when he sees his girlfriend coughing. Jason stops by the restaurant to apologize to Jerry, but fails to apologize to George. George confronts him later, only to be humiliated some more. Kramer changes don't work out, so he asks for advice from Jerry and observes the men in the shower at a health club. Elaine confronts Peggy and gives her some germs. George tells Jerry how he can show his girlfriend the concept of bad naked using a belt sander. Kramer decides to live in the shower. George talks to Jason's sponsor, who recommends that he attend a meeting, only it's not AA, it's Rage-oholics Anonymous (RA). Jerry executes George's plan. After doing his dishes in the shower, Kramer decides he needs to add a garbage disposal to bathtub. Kramer calls on Puddy for installation advice. Elaine tells Jerry one of the problems with his body and why a naked male body isn't attractive. Puddy tells Elaine why her co-worker doesn't like her germs, she's a "germ-o-phobe," like he used to be ten years ago. He accompanies Elaine on a visit to Peggy to prove his theory. Jerry convinces his girlfriend to put on her clothes; however, he can only picture her naked and unfortunately she can only do the same with him. Kramer cooks up a meal that he serves to Elaine, Puddy and the recovering Peggy, only they all react badly when they find out the kitchen was in the shower. Jason tries to apologize to George, but it isn't quite what George had in mind so they both go into a rage.

b: 11-Dec-97 pc: 909 w: Jennifer Crittenden d: Andy Ackerman


NOTE: Viewer Kim Babij, noticed that in the scene where Melissa goes to get the jar of pickles... they didn't quite frame the shot properly because you can see the waistband of her skin-colored body-suit.
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166. S09E10 - The Strike

Guest Stars: Daniel Von Bargen (Kruger) Karen Fineman (Gwen) Dave Florek (Harry) Kevin Hamilton MacDonald (Denim Vest) Tracy Letts (Counterguy) Amit Itelman (Employee) Stacey Herring (Sandy) Colin Malone (Sleazy Guy) Jerry Dixon (Customer) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Estelle Harris (Estelle) Bryan Cranston (Whatley)


George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number. George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing.
Jerry decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk's, something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the sabotage he committed; the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly. Kruger gives George a check for donates $20,000 to the "Human Fund" and later accounting informs him the charity doesn't exist. Gwen finds out from Kramer that Jerry is seeing another woman, Kramer has seen her and she's not Gwen. Gwen thinks Jerry is two-timing her with an ugly woman. George tries to convince Kruger that he passed out the fake gift cards because he didn't want to be ridiculed for the holiday his family traditionally celebrates, Festivus. To prove it, George brings Kruger to his father's Festivus dinner, where everyone comes together.

b: 18-Dec-97 pc: 910 w: Dan O'Keefe & Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer d: Andy Ackerman


NOTE: Kyle Westphal and I want to know, if everyone else at the bagel shop took other jobs over ten years ago, who called Kramer to let him know the strike was over and why didn't they return to work as well? Rick Marshall reminds me there was probably a union steward, who wasn't connected with the bagel shop, but had Kramer's name on a list.

If George's father hadn't celebrated Festivus in years, "Why did he still send George a card?", asks viewer Miles Galfer. I'd suggest that even though a person may not celebrate a holiday with all the trimmings, it is possible they might just think to send a card, especially if they want their loved ones to remember happy childhood memories.

Sharp-eyed viewer Dave Antonoff notes that name of the moving and storage company on the side of van that "Denim Vest" got his number from was "Azzari Moving and Storage". Since the show's production designer is Tho. E. Azzari, Dave assumes this "had" to be deliberate. I'll note that since he is the production designer, he can have whatever legal will let him paint on the side of the van, including his own name. Viewer Shawn Barat notes that they also moved the couch that Poppie peed on in "The Couch".

SPECIAL NOTE: Around Christmas time, as everyone probably knows by now, Jerry announced that this would be the last season for Seinfeld. Many stories have appeared since the announcement, talking about the future of NBC's Thursday night line-up, possibilities for spin-offs, etc.. Even the New York Post called me to get to my reaction to the announcement. I hear from friends in New York that I wasn't quoted, perhaps my fifteen minutes of fame are yet to come. Anyhow, the only thing we know for sure at this point is that there are going to be 12 more episodes. Let's hope they can all be considered classics!

Recently it was reported that the last episode would command greater than Superbowl size prices for the 30-second commercial spots.

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167. S09E11 - The Dealership

Guest Stars: Daniel Hagen (Rick) Joel McCrary (Don) Michael Kagan (Willie) Dee Freeman (Service Assistant) Rif Hutton (Salesman) Howard Mann (Willie Sr.) Steve Susskind (Customer #1) Loretta Fox (Customer #2) Catherine Schreiber (Saleswoman) Unknown (Cab Driver (uncredited)) Patrick Warburton (Puddy)


Jerry plans to buy a car with an insider deal from Puddy, who's been promoted to a car salesman. George warns Jerry to watch out for car dealers. Kramer takes the car Jerry is planning to buy for a test drive with another salesman. Elaine returns from a lunch with Puddy at Arby's. Puddy offers Jerry a "high five." Kramer misses the turn to go back to the dealership; instead, he plans to give the car a full test of a Kramer daily routine. Hungry, George seeks out something to eat and must settle for a vending machine candy bar. Only he can't get one from the machine with a crinkled dollar so he asks a mechanic (who he knows has a crisp dollar) for assistance and is refused service. Finally, when he gets the correct change, the Twix bar hangs. With his errands run, Kramer's next test is to take the car to the limits of its fuel tank. Irritated (when isn't he), George seeks assistance from a salesman. When they return to the machine, the Twix bar George had hanging and the one behind it are gone. George suspects the mechanic. Elaine and Puddy have a fight and break up. Jerry's insider deal is off. George confronts the mechanic. Jerry wants George to help him get a good deal; however, George is only interested in getting back at the mechanic. The car salesman riding with Kramer really gets into driving below empty. George tries to complain about the mechanic, but gets into a debate about candy bars. In an attempt to get a great deal on his car, Jerry tries to put Elaine and Puddy "in a relationship today." George sets up a candy bar lineup, to implicate the mechanic, only to find his lineup being eaten. Elaine and Puddy get back together and Jerry is going to get his deal, until Puddy says "high five me" to Jerry, one time too many. Kramer and the salesman, with the dealership in sight, decide instead to go for it.

b: 08-Jan-98 pc: 911 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman


NOTE: Jerry Balsam notes this is one of those rare episodes where Jerry's apartment isn't seen. Jeremy DeMai notes that this is the second one for this season.

The role of the cab driver was played by someone who seems familiar to me, but I'm not sure where from. Since the role was uncredited, I'm not quite sure who it was. Can anyone offer a theory as to the identity? I have a guess, but I want to hear other opinions first. I know he is involved with the production, because I saw him in the crowd with Jerry accepting The People's Choice Award, that were given out the Sunday after this episode aired. Seinfeld of course, got the favorite comedy award. I wonder how they fare at the following week's Golden Globe Awards?

On that same Sunday, a new American Express commercial debuted featuring Jerry and his hero, Superman. The voice of Superman is that of Patrick (David Puddy) Warburton and Lois Lane is played by George's girlfriend, Tara, in "The Blood". Too bad Teri Hatcher couldn't have played Lois in that commercial! Also seen in the commercial is Jack Larson, who played Jimmy Olsen in The Adventures of Superman.

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168. S09E12 - The Reverse Peephole

Guest Stars: Jon Polito (Silvio) Pat Finn (Joe Mayo) Jennette Robbins (Keri) Fitz Houston (Cop) Joe Basile (Delivery Guy) Lauren Bowles (Waitress) Wayne Knight (Newman) Patrick Warburton (Puddy)


Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea; he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr. Zaius" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree.
Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carryall. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift, when he finds out that Joe Mayo didn't like the music he provided at last year's party. Kramer was never in the gift, he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn't even know Joe Mayo. George will be able to return the chair, after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street, George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen and the landlord finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat.

b: 15-Jan-98 pc: 912 w: Spike Feresten d: Andy Ackerman



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169. S09E13 - The Cartoon

Guest Stars: Paul Benedict (Mr. Elinoff) Joe Urla (Dugan) Bart McCarthy (Cab Driver) Kathy Griffin (Sally Weaver) Wayne Knight (Newman) John O'Hurley (Peterman) Tracy Nelson (Janet)


Kramer's brutal honesty, gets Jerry in trouble with Susan's old college roommate, Sally Weaver. Elaine obsesses over the meaning of a cartoon that appears in The New Yorker. Elaine and later Kramer comments that George's new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry. In fact Kramer says "just because they look-a-like, that doesn't mean you're (George) secretly in love with Jerry." Jerry confronts Kramer's frankness. Sally claims that Jerry has ruined her life, she's quitting the business, Jerry can't have that on his conscience, he talks her back into the business. Kramer makes an important life decision, the only way to keep his mouth shut, is to stop talking. Before he finally stops talking, Kramer's constant references to the looks of George's girlfriend, drives George out of Jerry's apartment. Elaine goes to The New Yorker to seek an explanation for the cartoon. Discovering that the editor didn't understand the cartoon either, he liked the kitty. Sally opens her new one woman show about "Jerry Seinfeld- the Devil." Elaine's complaint, gets her the opportunity to do her own cartoon for the magazine. Jerry confronts Sally about the content of her show. Newman is her biggest fan; finally, he can see a "show that is about something." Kramer discovers the disadvantages of not talking. George worries about why he really likes his girlfriend. A clip of Sally's show appears on channel 9 news, it features Jerry's latest confrontation with her. Elaine works all-night on her first cartoon, it is okay, but it is not the gem that Elaine thinks it is. Jerry calls Sally and the message he leaves on her answering machine appears in her show as well. Later the lawsuit he filed appears in her cable special. Jerry decides to cut off all communication with Sally. Elaine's first comic appears in The New Yorker. Peterman thinks it is a great cartoon, until he realizes it is a Ziggy and he can prove it -- "Quick Elaine, to my archives." George and his girlfriend discuss their relationship, until she gets gum in her hair. Sally starts talking to the silent Kramer, until he can't take it anymore. He tells her to shut-up, then he apologizes and says that he hasn't spoken for days. Sally tells him to lay it on her. To remove the gum from her hair, George's girlfriend cuts her hair, her new hairstyle looks exactly like Jerry's. George runs out of the apartment screaming. Elaine tells Jerry about the Ziggy incident. Ziggy responds to The New Yorker. Sally's new cable show is about to come on and Jerry is convinced she'll have nothing to talk about. He was so wrong. George decides to take a few days off from his relationship with Jerry.

b: 29-Jan-98 pc: 913 w: Bruce Eric Kaplan d: Andy Ackerman


NOTE: Viewer Jason Diersman notes that in Kathy Griffin's real life HBO comedy special she had a bit about how Jerry Seinfeld was rude to her when they were taping the first episode she appeared on, "The Doll". This is possibly the genesis for the premise of this episode?

Dave Antonoff asks if the character Mr. Elinoff was named after production assistant, Jed Elinoff?



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