Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can\'t Stop Talking pdfdrive com

partly on their talent for witty repartee, but even they were advised to
display blushes and downcast eyes. They were warned by conduct
manuals that “the coldest reserve” was “more admirable in a woman a
man wishe[d] to make his wife than the least approach to undue
familiarity.” Men could adopt a quiet demeanor that implied self-
possession and a power that didn’t need to flaunt itself. Though shyness
per se was unacceptable, reserve was a mark of good breeding.
But with the advent of the Culture of Personality, the value of
formality began to crumble, for women and men alike. Instead of paying
ceremonial calls on women and making serious declarations of intention,
men were now expected to launch verbally sophisticated courtships in
which they threw women “a line” of elaborate flirtatiousness. Men who
were too quiet around women risked being thought gay; as a popular
1926 sex guide observed, “homosexuals are invariably timid, shy,
retiring.” Women, too, were expected to walk a fine line between
propriety and boldness. If they responded too shyly to romantic
overtures, they were sometimes called “frigid.”
The field of psychology also began to grapple with the pressure to
project confidence. In the 1920s an influential psychologist named
Gordon Allport created a diagnostic test of “Ascendance-Submission” to
measure social dominance. “Our current civilization,” observed Allport,
who was himself shy and reserved, “seems to place a premium upon the
aggressive person, the ‘go-getter.’ ” In 1921, Carl Jung noted the newly
precarious status of introversion. Jung himself saw introverts as
“educators and promoters of culture” who showed the value of “the
interior life which is so painfully wanting in our civilization.” But he
acknowledged that their “reserve and apparently groundless
embarrassment naturally arouse all the current prejudices against this
type.”
But nowhere was the need to appear self-assured more apparent than
in a new concept in psychology called the inferiority complex. The IC, as
it became known in the popular press, was developed in the 1920s by a
Viennese psychologist named Alfred Adler to describe feelings of

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inadequacy and their consequences. “Do you feel insecure?” inquired the
cover of Adler’s best-selling book, 
Understanding Human Nature
. “Are you
fainthearted? Are you submissive?” Adler explained that all infants and
small children feel inferior, living as they do in a world of adults and
older siblings. In the normal process of growing up they learn to direct
these feelings into pursuing their goals. But if things go awry as they
mature, they might be saddled with the dreaded IC—a grave liability in
an increasingly competitive society.
The idea of wrapping their social anxieties in the neat package of a
psychological complex appealed to many Americans. The Inferiority
Complex became an all-purpose explanation for problems in many areas
of life, ranging from love to parenting to career. In 1924, 
Collier’s
ran a
story about a woman who was afraid to marry the man she loved for
fear that he had an IC and would never amount to anything. Another
popular magazine ran an article called “Your Child and That Fashionable
Complex,” explaining to moms what could cause an IC in kids and how
to prevent or cure one. 
Everyone
had an IC, it seemed; to some it was,
paradoxically enough, a mark of distinction. Lincoln, Napoleon, Teddy
Roosevelt, Edison, and Shakespeare—all had suffered from ICs,
according to a 1939 
Collier’s
article. “So,” concluded the magazine, “if
you have a big, husky, in-growing inferiority complex you’re about as
lucky as you could hope to be, provided you have the backbone along
with it.”
Despite the hopeful tone of this piece, child guidance experts of the
1920s set about helping children to develop winning personalities. Until
then, these professionals had worried mainly about sexually precocious
girls and delinquent boys, but now psychologists, social workers, and
doctors focused on the everyday child with the “maladjusted
personality”—particularly shy children. Shyness could lead to dire
outcomes, they warned, from alcoholism to suicide, while an outgoing
personality would bring social and financial success. The experts advised
parents to socialize their children well and schools to change their
emphasis from book-learning to “assisting and guiding the developing
personality.” Educators took up this mantle enthusiastically. By 1950 the
slogan of the MidCentury White House Conference on Children and
Youth was “A healthy personality for every child.”
Well-meaning parents of the midcentury agreed that quiet was

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unacceptable and gregariousness ideal for both girls and boys. Some
discouraged their children from solitary and serious hobbies, like
classical music, that could make them unpopular. They sent their kids to
school at increasingly young ages, where the main assignment was
learning to socialize. Introverted children were often singled out as
problem cases (a situation familiar to anyone with an introverted child
today).
William Whyte’s