An introduction to religious and spiritual experience

Depression
The writer Eckhart Tolle explains at the beginning of his first book how 
his writing was triggered by an experience which he recounts at the begin-
ning of 
The Power of
Now
.
Until my thirtieth year, I lived in a state of almost continuous anxiety 
interspersed with periods of suicidal depression. . . .
One night not long after my twenty-ninth birthday, I woke up in the 
early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. I had woken up with such 
a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it 
had ever been. . . .
‘I cannot live with myself any longer.’ This was the thought that kept 
repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a 
peculiar thought it was. ‘Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, 
there must be two of me: the “I” and the “self” that “I” cannot live 
with.’ ‘Maybe’, I thought, ‘only one of them is real’.
I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. 
I was fully conscious, but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt 
drawn into what seemed like a vortex of energy. It was a slow move-
ment at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear, and 
my body began to shake. I heard the words ‘resist nothing’, as if spo-
ken inside my chest. I could feel myself being sucked into a void. It felt 
as if the void was inside myself rather than outside. Suddenly, there 
was no more fear, and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recol-
lection what happened after that.

---

Religious and Spiritual Experience
84
I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had 
never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw 
the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a 
sound, this is what it would be like. I opened my eyes. The first light 
of dawn was filtering through the curtains. Without any thought, I felt, 
I knew, that there is infinitely more to light than we realize. That soft 
luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself. Tears came 
into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognized the 
room, and yet I knew I had never truly seen it before. . . .
That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle 
of life on earth, as if I had just been born into this world.
75
Tolle lived in a state of bliss for several months afterwards, but still did 
not understand what had happened to him. It was the beginning of a 
spiritual journey which eventually enabled him to interpret his experi-
ence. He realized that the intensity of his suffering had enabled him to 
split from his unhappy ego and to discover his true nature, his pure con-
sciousness. He learned to repeat the experience and eventually became a 
spiritual teacher. 
This experience of love, triggered by long-standing depression, was 
sent in when the experient was aged 77.
I will send you an experience which befell me in 1926, when I was like 
you aged 30. It has governed my outlook on life ever since. . . .
After a serious abdominal operation in Spring 1925, while on leave 
in England from duty in Burma, I had been for about a year in a state 
of great depression, and had lost all belief in God. In spite of treatment 
by psychiatrists, both in and out of hospital, I had set out by sea on 
return to duty with the firm intention of taking my life during the jour-
ney. A book on theosophy which had been given to me before my 
departure, helped me to survive the journey and opened my mind to 
the possibility that a world existed beyond the reach of our physical 
senses. On reaching Burma, I got in touch with the local Theosophical 
lodge and for a few weeks found some peace of mind. 
Soon, however, the old depression returned until one day I was 
sitting on the slope of Mandalay Hill (very sacred to Buddhists), 
bemoaning my wretched state and wondering how I could carry on. 
Suddenly I experienced the most vivid sensation that I and all my 
surroundings were, so to speak, immersed in an ocean of love. I realised 
in a flash that there is indeed a spiritual world beyond the reach of our 
senses, and that the spirit of love, which many call God, permeates and 

---

Non-Religious Triggers
85
envelops our physical world. I was filled with intense relief and joy and 
the realisation that I must do all in my power to help establish God’s 
kingdom of love upon earth. [003427]
Fear
Many people who do not normally pray, do so to ask for help in times 
of crisis. This experience, however, is recounted by a young woman 
Christian missionary. She had become a missionary as a result of this 
experience in childhood and linked the two events,
Perhaps the following may not come under the heading ‘Unusual Expe-
rience’ to those who try to live out logically what they believe. To a 
great many people they would be unusual. The first experience was 
when I was ten. I attended a small country school. I had been accused 
of stealing. I hadn’t done so but felt terribly ashamed that I had been 
accused. Later in the afternoon after school, I sat on a bank by the 
roadside and wished I could die. Before me was field of hay, not yet 
ripe and shimmering like brown-green velvet in the shadowy sunlight. 
It was beautiful and I thought, ‘If I die I won’t see that again’. Instantly 
on the thought came the knowledge that God knew I had not stolen 
and that nothing else mattered. The relief was tremendous. Two things 
resulted from that experience; I became a missionary and also realised 
more and more that inner integrity is an absolute for wholeness of 
personality. The second experience happened when I was a young 
woman. 
I was, perforce, travelling alone in the Kashmir Hills. It was 
near dusk. I had left the motorcar that brought me up the hill and, hav-
ing been forbidden to take strenuous exercise, was being carried in a 
‘dandie’ by four men for the rest of the way. A fifth, very unpleasant 
man insisted on coming with us. I saw this man eye my handbag and 
exchange a meaningful look with one of the men in the rear. I knew 
they meant to rob me, that there would probably be violence and I was 
terrified. Then it was as if a voice within me said, ‘You say you have 
faith and this is how you react when it comes to the test’. I felt very 
ashamed, faith returned and I felt an extraordinary peace. I could even 
wonder what would happen, where it would happen (possibly in the 
belt of trees we were approaching,) and what I should do. One of the 
leading men turned. I smiled to him. As he was a Muslim (they all 
were), I asked him if he had ever been to Ajmer. Ajmer is the second 
Mecca to the Muslim. ‘No’, he replied and asked eagerly if I knew 

---

Religious and Spiritual Experience
86
Ajmer. I replied that I lived there. They all began to ask questions about 
the great mosque and I was able to answer their questions and even to 
tell them some things they hadn’t known. I knew then that 
I was perfectly safe. We got lost on the hillside – my fault, not theirs – 
and I was nearly two hours late reaching my destination. 
We parted, each praying a blessing on the other. The result of that 
experience was that during the Quit India months and during the 
troubled times at Partition I was able to travel anywhere in the country 
without fear. I am slight in build and timid by nature. [000005]
Anger
Neale Donald Walsch was so angry about the way things were in his life 
that he sat down and wrote a letter to God. 
It was a spiteful, passionate letter, full of confusions, contortions and 
condemnations. And a