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Choose real friendships
One evening, I received an email from a teenager who’d diagnosed herself with
depression and low self-esteem. She didn’t feel good about life. She didn’t feel
confident and found it very hard to remain positive. Telling her to stay positive
didn’t work; it just made her feel worse.
After speaking to the teenager, it became obvious that her friends had put many
disturbing ideas into her head, telling her she was ugly, stupid, embarrassing to
be around. These friends didn’t recognize her worth, and this affected how she
saw herself, too.
If someone doesn’t respect you or says you have flaws, there’s a good chance
you’ll start to integrate their opinions into your sense of self. In fact, many of the
thoughts in our heads aren’t originally our own. When we’re young, we might be
told that we’re not meant for certain paths in life. We grow up believing what
we’re told and the others’ perceptions become our reality.
Our whole lives are shaped by throwaway comments and social programming.
Sometimes, the simplest solution is to be around different people, especially
when you can’t get the ones you’re already surrounded by to change. Once the
teenager let go of the friends she had and made new ones, she began to feel more
confident about her life.
Simplify your circle of friends. Keep those who
add value to your life; remove those who don’t.
Less is always more when your less
means
more.
Since the evolution of social networking platforms, the definition of
friend
has
changed. They’re no longer people you know well. Virtual friendships have
affected the way society labels friendships. We now call anyone a friend – even
a person we met once on a night out.
How many of these people are really your friends? Could you turn to them in a
time of need? Unfortunately, many modern friendships aren’t based on
emotional support or a family-like connection. Instead, they’re based on
drinking, smoking, partying, shopping or gossiping together – some of which
happen to be habits that will lower your vibration.
A lot of these types of friendships may be based on short-term mutual gain. For
example, some friends may only play an active role in your life when both of
you need someone to accompany you to public events, such as parties. The
person you go to the gym with might be considered a friend, but if you ever
needed help moving house, would they be available to lend a hand? Would they
offer to help? Although these friendships may not be bad, because they assist
you in serving a purpose, they quickly fall away when you’re in need of help.
You can’t always expect those people to be there for you.
Sometimes, we have more superficial friendships than meaningful ones.
Consider whether your friends show you support. Do they applaud when you
win? Do they encourage you to take positive actions? Do they help you grow as
a person? If you’re unsure, your friendships may not be as healthy for you as you
think they are.
If you suspect jealousy or hatred directed at you within your friendship circle,
you’re not surrounding yourself with the right people. True friends want the best
for you. Your success is shared with them. They don’t become bitter when you
get better; they help you get better and ensure you don’t become bitter!
Some friends want you to do well, but not
too well. It’s important that we do not settle
for these mediocre friendships either, as
they’ll fill our lives with negative energy.
We all grow and mature at different rates, but some people have slow growth
because they
choose
to remain stuck. You’ll often meet people who are caught
up in the same routines, doing the same things with the same peers, and
complaining about the same problems. These people actively resist change and
don’t step out of their comfort zone in search of a better life. They become
comfortable with their dissatisfaction.
You may be one of these people, or they may be your close friends. You may be
highly ambitious and finally pluck up the courage to go for more in your life.
Your friends, on the other hand, might not get it, and the difference in
frequencies between you could cause separation. For example, if you wish to
grow spiritually, you may become interested in concepts that are completely
alien – even scary – to your friends.
The truth is, all of your friends teach you something valuable in life. They each
have a role to play. Some have temporary positions, others are permanent. It’s
fine to outgrow people and move on with your life. You must always focus on
your own life, expanding it and growing as an individual. You can only do great
things for others in the world if you genuinely feel joyful, loving and
accomplished. If the people around you choose different paths or aren’t quite
where you are, that’s okay. If they’re supposed to be in your life, sooner or later
they’ll be there; your journeys will align again eventually.
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