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Technique #41
Re ad Their Rags
Is your next big client a golfer, runner, swimmer, surfer,
or skier? Are you attending a social function filled with
accountants or Zen Buddhists—or anything in between?
There are untold thousands of monthly magazines
serving every imaginable interest. You can dish up more
information than you’ll ever need to sound like an
insider with anyone just by reading the rags that serve
their racket. (Have you read your latest copy of
Zoonooz
yet?)
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strolled, I gradually changed the subject from chrysanthemums to
the consulting work I could do for her company. Who was lead-
ing whom down the garden path?
Is the world getting smaller, or are we getting bigger? Today’s
Renaissance man or woman is comfortable and confident any-
where. The next technique helps you be an insider wherever you
find yourself on the planet, and it saves you from fulfilling the
world’s fantasy of “the ugly American.”
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Say you’re traveling abroad on business and you want to be a
“global insider.” What’s the first thing on your to-do list? Get a
passport and a phrase book, right? After all, who wants to wander
around Rome not knowing how to ask for a restroom? Or be
thirsty in Kuala Lumpur not knowing how to ask for a soda? How-
ever, there’s something most of us forget to pack, often with dire
consequences—a book on international customs.
A friend of mine, a fellow speaker named Geraldine, was
excited about her first speech in Japan. To be comfy on her long
flight to Tokyo, she donned her favorite designer jeans and a casual
jacket. Fourteen hours and 6,737 miles later, four impeccably
dressed Japanese gentlemen greeted her at Narita Airport. Smil-
ing and bowing low, they handed her their business cards. With
her carry-on bag in one hand, Geri took their cards with the other.
She thanked them, glanced briefly at the cards, and packed them
safely into her back pocket. She then pulled one of her business
cards out of her purse and, sensitive to the fact that they might
have difficulty pronouncing Geraldine, wrote her nickname “Geri”
above her printed name. The gentlemen hovered over her card,
turning it over to examine it a few times, before one of them put
it in his briefcase.
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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
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How to Talk to Anyone
When the five of them arrived at the hotel, they invited Geri
for tea in the lobby. While sipping tea, the gentlemen presented
her with a small gift which she eagerly opened. One of Geri’s most
charming qualities is her instinctive warmth and effusiveness. She
was thrilled with the gift and, in typical Geri style, she squealed,
“Oh, it’s beautiful!” as she gave each of the gentlemen a little hug.
At this point, the four Japanese gentlemen stood up in uni-
son like four frowning Siamese twins and, bowing only very
slightly, mumbled “Sayonara” and promptly left. Poor Geri was
flabbergasted. What did she do wrong?
Everything! First, the jeans. Even if you’re coming off a bicy-
cle in Asia, you do not meet clients casually dressed. The second
mistake was Geri’s vulgar handling of their business cards. In Asia,
the business card is one of the most important protocol tools. It
is always presented and accepted reverently with both hands.
(Except in Moslem Asia where the left hand is considered
unclean.)
Geri then put their cards away much too quickly. In Asia, peo-
ple use business cards as a conversation starter. You chat about each
other’s cards and work and do not put theirs away until they gen-
tly and respectfully place yours in safekeeping. Shoving it into her
back jeans pocket was the ultimate disrespect.
Geri didn’t discover her fourth gaffe until she returned home.
One of her colleagues Bill, a seasoned business traveler, analyzed
the fiasco for her. Bill told her the reason the gentlemen had turned
Geraldine’s card over and over when she gave it to them at the air-
port was to find her name, title, and company printed in Japanese
on the other side. The flip side of Geri’s card was, of course, blank.
Then, fifth horror of horrors, Geri should not have written on
the card. Cards in Asia are not exactly sacred, but one should never
deface them with messy handwriting.
The sad tale of Geri and the Japanese gets worse. Bill broke
the bad news to her: she should not have opened the gift in front
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of her clients. Why? Because in a land where saving face is criti-
cal, it would be embarrassing to discover the gift they gave was
not as nice as the one they received. (Yikes, Geri hadn’t even given
them a gift!) Gaffe number seven.
Geri’s little squeal when receiving the gift was also a boo-boo.
In Asia, the lower the tone of voice, the higher the rank. The final
flub was, of course, giving the gentlemen a thank-you hug. Hug-
ging, highly revered in certain parts of the world is, in Japan, abso-
lutely unacceptable with a new client.
Needless to say, Geri has not been invited back to Japan.
However, she does have a gig coming up in El Salvador. This time
she’s smart. She’s studying up on the customs there. Happily, she’s
finding she can hug to her heart’s content. However she shouldn’t
use her (or anybody else’s) first name. Oh, and she must not intro-
duce herself as an “American.” After all, Salvadorans are Ameri-
cans, too!
The differences ’round the world go on and on. Whenever I
travel, I have to hit myself over the head and realize I’m not in the
anything-goes ol’ USA. I love to travel in jeans, I’m an incurable
hugger, and I can’t wait to see what’s in a gift box anybody gives
me. However, whenever I plan to leave Uncle Sam’s shores, I check
on foreign customs to see how much of myself I can be.
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