Remember, buried deep inside everyone is a big baby who is
rattling the crib, wailing out for recognition of how very special
he or she is.
The following technique reinforces the big baby’s suspicion
that he or she is, indeed, the center of the universe.
26
How
to Talk to Anyone
01 (001-042B) part one 8/14/03 9:16 AM Page 26
A very wise man with the funny name of Zig
9
once told me, “Peo-
ple don’t care how much you know until they know how much
you care . . . about them.” Zig Ziglar is right. The secret to mak-
ing people like you is showing how much you like them!
Your body is a twenty-four-hour broadcasting station reveal-
ing to anyone within eyeshot precisely how you feel at any given
moment. Even if your Hang by Your Teeth posture is gaining their
respect, your Flooding Smile and The Big-Baby Pivot are making
them feel special, and your Sticky Eyes are capturing their hearts
and minds, the rest of your body can reveal any incongruence.
Every inch—from the crinkle of your
forehead to the position of
your feet—must give a command performance if you want to
effectively present an “I care about you” attitude.
Unfortunately, when meeting someone, our brains are in over-
drive. Remember Shakespeare’s
Julius Caesar
? He said of Cassius,
he “has a lean and hungry look . . . he thinks too much . . . such
men are dangerous.” So it is with our brains when conversing with
a new acquaintance. Our brains become lean. (Some of us are
fighting off shyness. Others are frantically sizing up the situation.)
And hungry. (We’re deciding what, if anything, we want from this
potential relationship.) So we think too much instead of respond-
27
How to Make Someone
Feel Like an Old Friend
at Once
✰
6
01 (001-042B) part one 8/14/03 9:16 AM Page 27
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
ing with candid, unself-conscious friendliness. Such actions are
dangerous to impending friendship, love, or commerce.
When our bodies are shooting off ten thousand bullets of
stimuli every second, a few shots are apt to misfire and reveal shy-
ness or hidden hostility. We need a technique to ensure every shot
aims right at the heart of our subject. We need to trick our bod-
ies into reacting perfectly.
To find it, let’s explore the only time we don’t need to worry
about any shyness or negativity slipping out through our body lan-
guage. It’s when we feel none. That happens when we’re chatting
with close friends. When we see someone we love or feel com-
pletely comfortable with, we respond warmly from head to toe
without a thought. Our lips part happily. We step closer. Our arms
reach out. Our eyes become soft and wide. Even our palms turn
up and our bodies turn fully toward our dear friend.
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