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Forget What They Said, Hear What



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How to Talk to Anyone 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Leil Lowndes) (z-lib.org)

Forget What They Said, Hear What 
They Meant
Instant Replay also makes you sensitive to levels of communica-
tion far deeper than just your callers’ words. You tune in to their
real enthusiasm or hesitation about an idea.
When we want something, our minds play funny tricks on us.
If we desperately crave “yes” from someone, we hear “yes.” But
“yes” isn’t always what it seems. A client’s forceful “YES” and her
hesitant “yeee-sss” are different as heaven and hell. Last month I
asked a woman who’d booked me for a speech if her office could
reproduce my ten-page handout. She gave me the answer I wanted,
which was “yes.” Later, however, I relistened to our conversation
262
How to Talk to Anyone
Technique #70
Instant Repl ay
Record all your business conversations and listen to
them again. The second or third time, you pick up on
significant subtleties you missed the first time. It’s like
football fans who often don’t know if there was a
fumble until they see it all over again in Instant Replay.
07 (229-264B) part seven 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 262


on tape. Her answer about the handouts had been a very hesitant,
“Hmm, well, yes.” I immediately called her back and said, “By the
way, don’t worry about those handouts.”
“Oh, I’m so glad!” she purred. “Because we really don’t have
the budget for things like that.” I gained much more in my client’s
goodwill than the value of reproducing a few sheets of paper.
Let us now return to your live, in-person show. We’re going
to talk not only about how to be a hit at a party, but how to
smoothly hit on all the folks you want—just like a politician.
How to “Listen Between the Lines” on the Phone
263
07 (229-264B) part seven 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 263


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