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Good job thinking this one through.
A moment later, Sahra and Atticus slide out.
“Where are you guys going?” I ask quickly.
“To get a drink,” Sahra answers, like it’s the most obvious
thing in the world.
“Pilot will stay here with you until Babe gets back.”
Atticus laughs before zeroing in on my Guinness. “You got a
Guinness?”
“I, yeah, just,” I flounder as they get up and out of the
booth. Atticus grins but doesn’t wait for my explanation. I
watch them walk away. Babe is still chatting up the guys over
there. I slowly look over at Pilot, widening my eyes and
pulling a hmm-I guess-it’s-just-us face.
How do I open?
I look at my drinks. “Uh, I actually don’t think I want
this,” I say, pushing the glass of Guinness forward. “You can
have it if you want.”
He smiles hesitantly. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, please take it.” I push it toward him.
“Thanks.” He picks it up and takes a swig. “How was that
whiskey shot?” he asks with amusement.
“Oh god, it was nasty. I felt rude not at least trying it,
though.”
He smirks and shakes his head, bringing the beer to his
lips. I feel myself smile and then force my lips back down.
I take a sip of the wine. It’s so sour.
Okay, say your words,
Shane.
“How’s the book going?” Pilot lowers his beer.
I never actually started my book.
I swallow. “Um, not going too much. I’ve been trying to
catch up on some other studying.”
He closes his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry about what
happened with your parents…”
“Um, yeah, I never got to say thank you for, you know,
going to that, and um, attempting to prevent that dumpster fire
of a conversation.” I gulp down another sip.
His eyes find mine, and hold them for a beat, like a sort of
metaphysical hand squeeze. “Anytime, Shane.”
I glance over at the bar. Atticus and the girls are cheers-ing
with the whiskey guys and downing another round of shots.
I turn back to Pilot, twitchy with nerves. “I have to ask you
something.”
“Shoot,” he says.
I grip my glass tighter. “Um, okay, well, um, do you know
about that night in the kitchen?”
He grins. “I think you’re going have to be more specific.”
“Um, the night my parents visited, I lost my notebook in
the kitchen…” I trail off.
“Oh shit, did you find it?” he asks. “You must have a
crapload of hilarious story ideas in there.”
I loose a pent-up breath.
He doesn’t know
.
Now tell him
how you feel.
“How’s that album you’re working on?” I find myself
saying.
“Oh, it’s um, kind of on hold for now,” he says with a sad
smile.
“What? Why?” I lean forward, forearms on the table.
“I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m totally happy with it
anymore, so I’m taking a break until I figure out what’s not
sounding right.”
“Oh…”
Tell him
.
I watch as he looks down at his drink thoughtfully. He
looks sad. I don’t want him to be.
“Pies.” I take another sip of wine and scoot the tiniest bit
closer.
“Yeah?” His lips quirk up.
I moved closer and he smiled.
Do it, Shane.
I clear my throat.
“
Are you excited to get
home?”
Pilot exhales, tilts his head, and rests it in his hand. “Well,
in a way, yeah, there are some people there that I want to get
back for.”
I blink, letting this sink in. He wants to get back for Amy.
Amy is some people.
You should still just tell him.
“What about you?” Pilot asks, trying to catch my eyes
because I’ve dropped my gaze to his earlobe. I let him catch
them.
“Kind of, I guess, but, um, well, I’m really gonna miss,
um, miss, I…” I swallow.
Pilot breaks eye contact. He never breaks eye contact first.
My lips wobble.
“HEYOOO! We got free shots!” Babe interrupts. She’s
grinning broadly as she scoots back into the booth. Pilot and I
snap back to a regular non-angled-toward-each-other posture
as the rest of the flat returns.
“Let’s play 21!” Atticus exclaims.
We play one last game of 21 in London. I’m all smiles and
laughter and underscored sadness. Afterward, we chat about
how we’re going to spend the summer. Babe’s coworkers have
connected her with the Disney Internship program, and she’s
heading down to Florida in June. We discuss our flight times
for tomorrow. Pilot’s not leaving; he’s staying for the royal
wedding and then traveling some more with the guys in the
flat down the hall. Babe’s parents are coming, and they’re
going to do London and the royal wedding this coming week
as well, then she’s traveling for a week by herself. The rest of
us will leave together for the airport at 12:00 p.m.
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