B o u t L o V e? Reminders for Being Loving

partner to provide that. Even if our partner can 
provide some of what we think we need, no one can 
provide everything because there’s no end to what 
the ego believes it needs. When it gets something, it 
wants more of it or the opposite. Your partner can 
never win at the game of trying to provide you with 
what you need, and you will never be able to provide 
that for him or her either. 

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Daily Inspiration 
131 
There’s a deeper satisfaction to be had, and it isn’t 
based on having anything but on 
being
. When you 
are happy just being, then you don’t need your 
partner to be anything for you. You don’t need 
anything. Then it’s possible to have a truly loving 
relationship, one based on celebrating the truth—the 
ultimate reality of who you are.

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W
HAT 
A
BOUT 
L
OVE
? 
132 
Since we all have conditioning that interferes with 
loving, finding reasons to not be in a relationship 
with someone is easy. What isn’t so easy is 
overcoming conditioning enough to love. It comes 
down to this: Do you want love and relationship 
more than you want your desires and other 
conditioning met? Do you want love more than you 
want your conditioning?

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Daily Inspiration 
133 
We make the mistake of thinking that fulfilling each 
other’s needs is the purpose of relationship and 
even the way to express love. Although it’s true that 
when we love someone, we often gladly give to 
them, it’s not true that love or relationship is about 
fulfilling the needs of another. That happens, but 
that’s not the purpose of relationship. It may be the 
purpose of relationships between egos, but it’s not 
the purpose of an Essence-based relationship, whose 
purpose is love. Love is not about needs, but about 
seeing beyond our conditioned needs and desires to 
the Essence of the other person and sharing at that 
level. Essence’s purpose in relationships is to 
experience Oneness with another—to experience 
love. It has no other purpose. It’s not trying to get 
anything from the other. It’s just happy to be with 
the other and celebrate that beingness together. 

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W
HAT 
A
BOUT 
L
OVE
? 
134 
Rather than looking for someone who will make us 
feel butterflies and goose bumps, being present to 
the one we are with from Essence will allow us to 
feel the love and connection we have always wanted. 
This love is more real, more fulfilling, and more 
substantial than butterflies and goose bumps. It 
often isn’t for lack of the right partner that we don’t 
feel this real love, but for lack of alignment with our 
own Essence and the Essence of another. 

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Daily Inspiration 
135 
In many cases, accepting our partner’s way of being 
is just a matter of counteracting any complaints the 
ego has with a positive statement of acceptance, such 
as, “Let it be,” “Everything is perfect,” “Love is more 
important than this,” or “He’s just the way he is.” 
These are expressions of truth from Essence, and we 
can use expressions like these to neutralize or 
change our relationship to our egoic mind, which 
judges and resists the many ways our partner is 
different from us. We can remind ourselves: “That’s 
just the ego. There it goes again, trying to cause 
trouble!” Conflict is not inevitable in relationships, 
and we can learn to avoid it through ignoring our