Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

party look so grave and anxious.)
Alice could think of nothing else to say but
“ It belongs to the Duchess : you ’d better ask
her
about it.”
“ She ’s in prison,” the Queen said to the
executioner : “ fetch her here.” And the execu-
tioner went off like an arrow.
The Cat’s head began fading away the
moment he was gone, and, by the time he had
come back with the Duchess, it had entirely
disappeared : so the King and the executioner
ran wildly up and down looking for it, while
the rest of the party went back to the game. 
The King’s argument was, that anything
that had a head could be beheaded, and that
you weren ’t to talk nonsense.
The Queen’s argument was, that if some-
thing wasn ’t done about it in less than no time,
she ’d have everybody executed, all round. (It
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THE MOCK TURTLE
’
S STORY
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131
very well without—Maybe it ’s always pepper
that makes people hot-tempered,” she went on,
very much pleased at having found out a new
kind of rule, “ and vinegar that makes them
sour—and camomile that makes them bitter—
and—and barley-sugar and such things that
make children sweet-tempered. I only wish
people knew 
that :
then they wouldn ’t be so
stingy about it, you know—”
She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this
time, and was a little startled when she heard
her voice close to her ear. “ You ’re thinking
about something, my dear, and that makes you
forget to talk. I can ’t tell you just now what
the moral of that is, but I shall remember it
in a bit.”
“ Perhaps it hasn ’t one,” Alice ventured to
remark.
“ Tut, tut, child !” said the Duchess. “ Every-
thing ’s got a moral, if only you can find it.”
And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’s
side as she spoke.
C H A P T E R IX.
THE MOCK TURTLE
’
S STORY
.
“ Y
OU
can ’t think how glad I am to see you
again, you dear old thing !” said the Duchess,
as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice’s,
and they walked off together.
Alice was very glad to find her in such a
pleasant temper, and thought to herself that
perhaps it was only the pepper that had made
her so savage when they met in the kitchen.
“When 
I’m
a Duchess,” she said to herself, (not
in a very hopeful tone though), “ I won ’t have
any pepper in my kitchen 
at all.
Soup does
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done by everybody minding their own business !”
“ Ah well ! It means much the same thing,”
said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin
into Alice’s shoulder as she added, “ and the
moral of 
that
is—‘ Take care of the sense, and
the sounds will take care of themselves.’ ”
“ How fond she is of finding morals in
things !” Alice thought to herself.
“ I daresay you ’re wondering why I don ’t
put my arm round your waist,” said the Duchess
after a pause : “the reason is, that I’m doubt-
ful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall
I try the experiment ?”
“ He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied,
not feeling at all anxious to have the experi-
ment tried.
“ Very true,” said the Duchess : “ flamingoes
and mustard both bite. And the moral of that
is—‘ Birds of a feather flock together.’ ”
“ Only mustard isn ’t a bird,” Alice remarked.
“ Right, as usual,” said the Duchess : “ what
a clear way you have of putting things !”
Alice did not much like keeping so close
to her : first, because the Duchess was 
very
ugly, and secondly, because she was exactly the
right height to
rest her chin upon
Alice’s shoulder,
and it was an un-
comfortably sharp
chin. However,
she did not like
to be rude, so she
bore it as well as
she could.
“ The game ’s
going on rather
better now,” she
said, by way of
keeping up the conversation a little.
“ ’ Tis so,” said the Duchess : “ and the moral
of that is—‘ Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makes
the world go round !’ ”
“ Somebody said,” Alice whispered, “ that it’s

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“ Pray don ’t trouble yourself to say it any
longer than that,” said Alice.
“ Oh, don’t talk about trouble !” said the
Duchess. 
“ I make you a present of every-
thing I ’ve said as yet.”
“ A cheap sort of present !” thought Alice.
“ I ’m glad they don ’t give birthday presents
like that !” But she did not venture to say it
out loud.
“ Thinking again ?” the Duchess asked, with
another dig of her sharp little chin.
“ I ’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply,
for she was beginning to feel a little worried.
“ Just about as much right,” said the Duchess,
“ as pigs have to fly : and the m—”
But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the
Duchess’ voice died away, even in the middle
of her favourite word ‘ moral,’ and the arm
that was linked into hers began to tremble.
Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in
front of them, with her arms folded, frowning
like a thunderstorm.
“ It ’s a mineral, I 
think,”
said Alice.
“ Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who
seemed ready to agree to everything that Alice
said ; “ there ’s a large mustard-mine near here.
And the moral of that is—‘ The more there is
of mine, the less there is of yours.’ ”
“ Oh, I know !” exclaimed Alice, who had
not attended to this last remark, “ it ’s a veget-
able. It doesn ’t look like one, but it is.”
“ I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess,
“ and the moral of that is—‘ Be what you would
seem to be’—or, if you ’d like it put more
simply—‘ Never imagine yourself not to be
otherwise than what it might appear to others
that what you were or might have been was
not otherwise than what you had been would
have appeared to them to be otherwise.’ ”
“ I think I should understand that better,”
Alice said very politely, “ if I had it written
down : but I can ’t quite follow it as you say it.”
“ That ’s nothing to what I could say if I
chose,” the Duchess replied in a pleased tone.

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were taken into custody by the soldiers, who
of course had to leave off being arches to do
this, so that by the end of half an hour or so
there were no arches left, and all the players,
except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were
in custody, and under sentence of execution.
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath,
and said to Alice, “ Have you seen the Mock
Turtle yet ?”
“ No,” said Alice. “ I don’t even know what
a Mock Turtle is.”
“ It ’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made
from,” said the Queen.
“ I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice.
“ Come on, then,” said the Queen, “ and he
shall tell you his history.”
As they walked off together, Alice heard the
King say in a low voice, to the company gener-
ally, “ You are all pardoned.” “ Come, 
that’s
a
good thing !” she said to herself, for she had
felt quite unhappy at the number of executions
the Queen had ordered.
“ A fine day, your Majesty !” the Duchess
began in a low, weak voice.
“ Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted the
Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke ;
“ either you or your head must be off, and that
in about half no time ! Take your choice !”
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone
in a moment.
“ Let ’s go on with the game,” the Queen
said to Alice, and Alice was too much frightened
to say a word, but slowly followed her back to
the croquet-ground.
The other guests had taken advantage of
the Queen’s absence, and were resting in the
shade : however, the moment they saw her, they
hurried back to the game, the Queen merely
remarking that a moment’s delay would cost
them their lives.
All the time they were playing the Queen
never left off quarrelling with the other players,
and shouting “ Off with his head !” or “ Off
with her head !” Those whom she sentenced

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safe to stay with it as to go after that savage
Queen : so she waited.
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes :
then it watched the Queen till she was out of
sight : then it chuckled. “ What fun !” said the
Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.
“ What