But Is It Art?
Once I was at a party playing bongos, and I got going pretty well. One of the guys was particularly inspired by the drumming. He went into the
bathroom, took off his shirt, smeared shaving cream in funny designs all over his chest, and came out dancing wildly, with cherries hanging from his
ears.
Naturally, this crazy nut and I became good friends right away. His name is Jirayr Zorthian; he's an artist.
We often had long discussions about art and science. I'd say things like, "Artists are lost: they don't have any subject! They used to have the
religious subjects, but they lost their religion and now they haven't got anything. They don't understand the technical world they live in; they don't
know anything about the beauty of the
real
world--the scientific world--so they don't have anything in their hearts to paint."
Jerry would reply that artists don't need to have a physical subject; there are many emotions that can he expressed through art. Besides, art can be
abstract. Furthermore, scientists destroy the beauty of nature when they pick it apart and turn it into mathematical equations.
One time I was over at Jerry's for his birthday, and one of these dopey arguments lasted until 3:00 AM. The next morning I called him up:
"Listen, Jerry," I said, "the reason we have these arguments that never get anywhere is that you don't know a damn thing about science, and I don't
know a damn thing about art. So,
on alternate Sundays, I'll give you a lesson in science, and you give me a lesson in art."
"OK," he said. "I'll teach you how to draw."
"That will he
impossible
," I said, because when I was in high school, the only thing I could draw was pyramids on deserts--consisting mainly of
straight lines--and from time to time I would attempt a palm tree and put in a sun. I had absolutely no talent. I sat next to a guy who was equally
adept. When he was permitted to draw anything, it consisted of two flat, elliptical blobs, like tires stacked on one another, with a stalk coming out of
the top, culminating in a green triangle. It was supposed to be a tree. So I bet Jerry that he wouldn't be able to teach me to draw.
"Of course you'll have to work," he said.
I
promised to work, but still bet that he couldn't teach me to draw. I wanted very much to learn to draw, for a reason that I kept to myself: I
wanted to convey an emotion I have about the beauty of the world. It's difficult to describe because it's an emotion. It's analogous to the feeling one
has in religion that has to do with a god that controls everything in the whole universe: there's a generality aspect that you feel when you think about
how things that appear so different and behave so differently are all run "behind the scenes" by the same organization, the same physical laws. It's an
appreciation of the mathematical beauty of nature, of how she works inside; a realization that the phenomena we see result from the complexity of
the inner workings between atoms; a feeling of how dramatic and wonderful it is. It's a feeling of awe--of scientific awe--which I felt could be
communicated through a drawing to someone who had also had this emotion. It could remind him, for a moment, of this feeling about the glories of
the universe.
Jerry turned out to be a very good teacher. He told me first to go home and draw anything.
So I tried to draw a shoe; then I tried to draw a flower
in a pot. It was a mess!
The next time we met I showed him my attempts: "Oh, look!" he said. "You see, around in back here, the line of the flower pot doesn't touch the
leaf." (I had meant the line to come up to the leaf.) "That's very good. It's a way of showing depth. That's very clever of you."
"And the fact that you don't make all the lines the same thickness (which I
didn't
mean to do) is good. A drawing with all the lines the same
thickness is dull." It continued like that: Everything that I thought was a mistake, he used to teach me something in a positive way. He never said it
was wrong; he never put me down. So I kept on trying, and I gradually got a little bit better, but I was never satisfied.
To get more practice I also signed up for a correspondence school course, with International Correspondence Schools, and I must say they were
good. They started me off
drawing pyramids and cylinders, shading them and so on. We covered many areas: drawing, pastels, watercolors, and
paints. Near the end I petered out: I made an oil painting for them, but I never sent it in. They kept sending me letters urging me to continue. They
were very good.
I practiced drawing all the time, and became very interested in it. If I was at a meeting that wasn't getting anywhere-- like the one where Carl
Rogers came to Caltech to discuss with us whether Caltech should develop a psychology department--I would draw the other people. I had a little pad
of paper I kept with me and I practiced drawing wherever I went. So, as Jerry taught me, I worked very hard.
Jerry, on the other hand, didn't learn much physics. His mind wandered too easily. I tried to teach him something about electricity and magnetism,
but as soon as I mentioned electricity," he'd tell me about some motor he had that didn't work, and how might he fix it. When I tried to show him how
an electromagnet works by making a little coil of wire and hanging a nail on a piece of string,
I put the voltage on, the nail swung into the coil, and
Jerry said, "Ooh! It's just like fucking!" So that was the end of that.
So now we have a new argument--whether he's a better teacher than I was, or I'm a better student than he was.
I gave up the idea of trying to get an artist to appreciate the feeling I had about nature so
he
could portray it. I would flow have to double my
efforts in learning to draw so I could do it myself. It was a very ambitious undertaking, and I kept the idea entirely to myself, because the odds were I
would never be able to do it.
Early on in the process of learning to draw, some lady I knew saw my attempts and said, "You should go down to the Pasadena Art Museum.
They have drawing classes there, with models--nude models."
"No," I said; "I can't draw well enough: I'd feel very embarrassed."
"You're good enough; you should see some of the others!"
So I worked up enough courage to go down there. In the first lesson they told us about newsprint--very large
sheets of low-grade paper, the size
of a newspaper--and the various kinds of pencils and charcoal to get. For the second class a model came, and she started off with a ten-minute pose.
I started to draw the model, and by the time I'd done one leg, the ten minutes were up. I looked around and saw that everyone else had already
drawn a complete picture, with shading in the back--the whole business.