How to Write Great Essays

HOW TO WRITE GREAT ESSAYS

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HOW TO WRITE GREAT ESSAYS
CHAPTER 8
Sample Essay Prompts and Essays
100
I enjoyed playing and listening to all styles of music. In school I play drums in
concert band, and also played drums and piano in a highly regarded Jazz pro-
gram. Although I took piano lessons as a child, I never really enjoyed practicing
and quit when I was in middle school. When I reached high school I found
interest in the piano again. I taught myself how to play the music I loved and
worked very hard to become a good piano player. While I enjoy playing in
school, I thrive on playing outside of school. I write my own songs and lyrics
and that’s where I truly expressed myself. I spend more time sitting over my
keyboard and recording on my computer than anything else I do. Music is
something that will be with me forever, whether I am playing or listening, and
I know that it’s a huge part of my dash.
As high school ends and I am looking at colleges I want to make sure I
continue filling my dash and State University will help in my pursuit for a
strong dash. The satisfaction of facing the challenges a top notch school like
State University has to offer will inspire me to keep working my hardest. State
University will continue shaping me into a better person with its wide varieties
of learning experiences.
My dash is something that I hold close to my heart because I know that it’s
the only thing I will really care about in the end. It won’t matter how many
points I scored, money I made, songs I recorded, or the grade point average I
achieved. The experiences I’ve had in this life and what I got out of them is
what really matters. I hope others will think of me as a hard, determined
worker who always tries to do the right thing. I know that as long as I put
forth my best effort in whatever I am doing, the dash will take care of itself.
EVALUATION
Referring again to the list on pages 77–78, this essay commits a serious essay blunder that weak-
ens it considerably. It contains numerous clichés (and you might argue the subject in gen-
eral is unoriginal). For example, phrases such as “struck home deep down in my heart,”“helped
me become the person I am today,”“a top notch school,” and “won’t matter how many points
I scored, money I made, songs I recorded, or the grade point average I achieved” are over-
used and stale. In addition, the writer did not carefully proofread his essay. The third para-
graph carelessly shifts from present to past tense a number of times. Paragraph four begins
with a run-on sentence, and there are numerous punctuation errors throughout the essay.