Fairy Tale and Film

partner, a sensitive, caring man whose protestations, during a safe-sex 
lesson, about the virtues of abstinence and waiting until you’re in love, 
earn him a flurry of female admirers. An interesting attempt is made 
to instil some feminist ideas as he tells a trio of besotted girls to have 
some self-respect, resulting in their eagerly seeking to convince him that 
respect is not a priority: ‘Don’t respect me!’, ‘No, don’t respect 
me
!’, ‘You 
don’t even have to remember my name!’ He shakes his head at these dire 
declarations, exclaiming to himself this is their fathers’ concern, and 
focuses on improving his daughter’s self-image, telling her what kind of 
treatment she deserves in a speech we might compare to Sam’s father 
in 
A Cinderella Story
(as well as the father’s favoured bed-time reading 
in 
Enchanted
), each aiming to empower their girls. A world away from 
the distant or downright negligent fathers of another era, these are men 
who have grown up under feminism’s influence and are keen to encour-
age their daughters’ emancipation using the same terms.
13
Experiencing a necessary attitude adjustment, Mike ends the film no 
longer bitter but grateful for what he has. Realising that life is about 
what he has achieved – and being there for his wife and kids – he 
manages to save his marriage and gets a new job as the school’s sports 
coach, a role that will satisfy his youthful ambition and further test 
his nurturing skills. Refreshingly, the message about maturing (and its 
alliance with facing the responsibilities of fatherhood) is countered by 
his best friend Ned, who has no interest in growing up, behaves like 
an overgrown child (surrounding himself with expensive toys) yet also 
finds himself a love interest who does not ask him to change (the school 

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62 
Fairy Tale and Film
headmistress proving to be a fellow 
Lord of the Rings
fan). The fact that 
Ned is financially more successful, working for himself, and also more 
affectionate than Mike (unabashedly sending him off with a ‘love you’ 
each time they part while his friend relies on a letter ruse to tell his 
wife how he feels) offers an interesting test case for such coming-of-age 
parables. The protagonist of 
The 40 Year Old Virgin
(Judd Apatow, 2005) 
may seemingly mature through his willingness to sell his nerdy 
Star 
Wars
toys, affirming the need to put away childish things to get the 
woman (and adult relationship) he desires, yet Ned simply has to find 
the right woman – and is more than comfortable about telling her how 
he feels! These comedies signal a notable change in what is considered 
appropriate or desirable ‘masculine’ behaviour. Declaring feelings is 
favoured over holding them back, responding to female partners who 
are unhappy with emotionally unavailable partners, and finding con-
tentment in relationships (with or without children) is promoted as the 
most fulfilling aspiration. Coming-of-age, growing up, is thus implicitly 
aligned with fostering relationships, acquiring a sense of maturity, and 
being able to relate to partners and their needs. An inability to do so 
leaves figures unhappy and incomplete. 
As innovative as these narratives undoubtedly are, we might note 
that 
Pinocchio
, a classic male coming-of-age tale written over a century 
ago, similarly involves wish-fulfilment, maturation and eventual trans-
formation.
14
A puppet’s wish to be a real boy is secured through acquir-
ing greater responsibility, guided by the spirit of a dead cricket and a 
blue-haired fairy, who seek to imbue him with a conscience. Maturity 
is aligned with learning to be wary of false promises and putting 
others first, particularly his father/creator, Gepetto. Some of the trials 
he undergoes are cruel indeed, such as the fake gravestone left by the 
fairy that falsely blames him for her death, as well as enduring traumas 
such as being turned into a donkey, beaten and almost drowned, yet 
such measures are seemingly deemed necessary in making him realise 
the error of his ways. From the dishonesty and self-interest that first 
characterise him, he develops a sense of compassion, helping various 
unfortunate creatures over the course of his adventures, and is helped in 
return. Eventually reunited with Gepetto, he returns home, works hard, 
provides for his father and becomes ‘real’.