The Art of Thinking Clearly: Better Thinking, Better Decisions

See also Omission Bias (ch. 44); Planning Fallacy (ch. 91); Action Bias (ch. 43);
Hyperbolic Discounting (ch. 51); Zeigarnik Effect (ch. 93)

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86
BUILD YOUR OWN CASTLE
Envy
Three scenarios – which would irk you the most? A) Your friends’ salaries
increase. Yours stays the same. B) Their salaries stay the same. Yours too. C)
Their average salaries are cut. Yours is, too.
If you answered A, don’t worry, that’s perfectly normal: you’re just another
victim of the green-eyed monster.
Here is a Russian tale: a farmer finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and out of thin
air appears a genie, who promises to grant him one wish. The farmer thinks about
this for a little while. Finally, he says: ‘My neighbour has a cow and I have none. I
hope that his drops dead.’
As absurd as it sounds, you can probably identify with the farmer. Admit it: a
similar thought must have occurred to you at some point in your life. Imagine your
colleague scores a big bonus and you get a gift certificate. You feel 
envy
. This
creates a chain of irrational behaviour: you refuse to help him any longer,
sabotage his plans, perhaps even puncture the tyres of his Porsche. And you
secretly rejoice when he breaks his leg skiing.
Of all the emotions, 
envy
is the most idiotic. Why? Because it is relatively easy
to switch off. This is in contrast to anger, sadness, or fear. ‘Envy is the most stupid
of vices, for there is no single advantage to be gained from it,’ writes Balzac. In
short, envy is the most sincere type of flattery; other than that, it’s a waste of time.
Many things spark 
envy
: ownership, status, health, youth, talent, popularity,
beauty. It is often confused with jealousy because the physical reactions are
identical. The difference: the subject of 
envy
is a thing (status, money, health etc.).
The subject of jealousy is the behaviour of a third person. 
Envy
needs two
people. Jealousy, on the other hand, requires three: Peter is jealous of Sam
because the beautiful girl next door rings him instead.
Paradoxically, with envy we direct resentments toward those who are most
similar to us in age, career and residence. We don’t envy businesspeople from
the century before last. We don’t begrudge plants or animals. We don’t envy

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millionaires on the other side of the globe – just those on the other side of the city.
As a writer, I don’t envy musicians, managers or dentists, but other writers. As a
CEO you envy other, bigger CEOs. As a supermodel you envy more successful
supermodels. Aristotle knew this: ‘Potters envy potters.’
This brings us to a classic practical error: let’s say your financial success
allows you to move from one of New York’s grittier neighbourhoods to
Manhattan’s Upper East Side. In the first few weeks, you enjoy being in the centre
of everything and how impressed your friends are with your new apartment and
address. But soon you realise that apartments of completely different proportions
surround you. You have traded in your old peer group for one that is much richer.
Things start to bother you that haven’t bothered you before. 
Envy
and status
anxiety are the consequences.
How do you curb 
envy
? First, stop comparing yourself to others. Second, find
your ‘circle of competence’ and fill it on your own. Create a niche where you are
the best. It doesn’t matter how small your area of mastery is. The main thing is
that you are king of the castle.
Like all emotions, 
envy
has its origins in our evolutionary past. If the hominid
from the cave next door took a bigger share of the mammoth, it meant less for the
loser. 
Envy
motivated us to do something about it. 
Laissez-faire
hunter-gatherers
disappeared from the gene pool; in extreme cases, they died of starvation, while
others feasted. We are the offspring of the envious. But, in today’s world, 
envy
is
no longer vital. If my neighbour buys himself a Porsche, it doesn’t mean that he
has taken anything from me.
When I find myself suffering pangs of 
envy
, my wife reminds me: ‘It’s OK to be
envious – but only of the person you aspire to become.’