Well, it was on the other side, that's all
, I thought.
So I walked around to the other side, and it wasn't there, either.
I stood by the back wall, still frowning, trying to remember. I was pretty sure
that when we first saw her standing on LeBay's lawn, with a FOR SALE sign
propped against her windscreen, there had been a good-sized rusty dent on
one side or the other, near the rear end—the sort of deep dent that my
grandfather always called a "hoss-kick". We'd be driving along the turnpike
and we'd go by a car with a big dent in it somewhere and Grampy would say,
"Hey, Denny, take a look there! Hoss kicked that one!" My grandfather was
the sort of guy who had a downhome phrase for everything.
I started to think I must have imagined it, and then gave my head a little
shake. That was sloppy thinking. It had been there; I remembered it clearly.
Just because it wasn't here now didn't mean it hadn't been then. Arnie had
obviously knocked it out, and had done a damn good piece of bodywork
covering it up.
Except…
There was no
sign
that he had done anything. There was no primer paint, no
gray body fill, no flaked paint. Just Christine's dull red and dirty white.
But it had
been there
, goddammit! A deep dimple filled with a snarl of rust,
on one side or the other.
But it sure was gone now.
I stood there in the clatter and thud of tools and machinery and felt very alone
and suddenly very scared. It was all wrong, it was all crazy. He had replaced
the radio aerial when the exhaust was practically dragging on the ground. He
had replaced one half of the grille but not the other. He had talked to me
about doing a front-end job, but inside he had replaced the ripped and dusty
back seat cover with a bright red new one. The front seat cover was still a
dusty wreck with a spring peeking through the passenger side.
I didn't like it at all. It was crazy and it wasn't like Arnie.
Something came to me, a trace of memory, and without even thinking about it,
I stood back and looked at the entire car—not just one thing here and one
thing there, but everything. And I had it; it clicked into place, and the chill
came back.
That night when we had brought it here. The flat tire. The replacement. I had
looked at that new tire on that old car and thought it was as if a little bit of
the old car had been scratched away and that the new car—fresh,
resplendent, just off the assembly line in a year when Ike had been President
and Batista had still been in charge of Cuba—was peeking through.
What I was seeing now was like that… only instead of just a single new tire,
there were all sorts of things—the aerial, a wink of new chrome from the
grille, one taillight that was a bright deep red, that new seat cover in the
back.
In its turn, that brought back something else from childhood. Arnie and I had
gone to Vacation Bible School together for two weeks each summer, and
every day the teacher would tell a Bible story and leave it unfinished. Then
she would give each kid a blank sheet of "magic paper". And if you scraped
the edge of a coin or the side of your pencil over it, a picture would
gradually emerge out of the white—the dove bringing the olive branch back
to Noah, the walls of Jericho tumbling down, good miracle stuff like that. It
used to fascinate both of us, seeing the pictures gradually emerge. At first just
lines floating in the void… and then the lines would connect with other
lines… they would take on coherence… take on
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