THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL : THE DEFINITIVE EDITION
Anne Frank
Edited by Otto H. Frank and Mirjam Pressler Translated by Susan Massotty
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BOOK FLAP
Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl is among the most enduring documents
of the twentieth century. Since its publication in 1947, it has been read by tens of
millions of people all over the world. It remains a beloved and deeply admired
testament to the indestructable nature of the human spirit.
Restore in this Definitive Edition are diary entries that had been omitted from
the original edition. These passages, which constitute 30 percent more material,
reinforce the fact that Anne was first and foremost a teenage girl, not a remote
and flawless symbol. She fretted about, and tried to copie with, her own
emerging sexuality. Like many young girls, she often found herself in
disagreement with her mother. And like any teenager, she veered between the
carefree nature of a child and the full-fledged sorrow of an adult. Anne emerges
more human, more vulnerable, and more vital than ever.
Anne Frank and her family, fleeing the horrors of Nazi occupation, hid in the
back of an Amsterdam warehouse for two years. She was thirteen when the
family went into the Secret Annex, and in these pages she grows to be a young
woman and a wise observer of human nature as well. With unusual insight, she
reveals the relations between eight people living under extraordinary conditions,
facing hunger, the ever-present threat of discovery and death, complete
estrangement from the outside world, and above all, the boredom, the petty
misunderstandings, and the frustrations of living under such unbearable strain, in
such confined quarters.
A timely story rediscovered by each new generation, The Diary of a Young Girl
stands without peer. For both young readers and adults it continues to bring to
life this young woman, who for a time survived the worst horror of the modern
world had seen -- and who remained triumphantly and heartbreakingly human
throughout her ordeal. For those who know and love Anne Frank, The Definitive
Edition is a chance to discover her anew. For readers who have not yet
encountered her, this is the edition to cherish.
ANNE FRANK was born on June 12, 1929. She died while imprisoned at
Bergen-Belsen, three months short of her sixteenth birthday. OTTO H. FRANK
was the only member of his immediate framily to survive the Holocaust. He died
in 1980.
MIRJAM PRESSLER is a popular writer of books for young adults. She lives in
Germany.
Translated by Susan Massotty.
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FOREWORD
Anne Frank kept a diary from June 12, 1942, to August 1, 1944. Initially, she
wrote it strictly for herself. Then, one day in 1944, Gerrit Bolkestein, a member
of the Dutch government in exile, announced in a radio broadcast from London
that after the war he hoped to collect eyewitness accounts of the suffering of the
Dutch people under the German occupation, which could be made available to
the public. As an example, he specifically mentioned letters and diaries.
Impressed by this speech, Anne Frank decided that when the war was over she
would publish a book based on her diary. She began rewriting and editing her
diary, improving on the text, omitting passages she didn't think were interesting
enough and adding others from memory. At the same time, she kept up her
original diary. In the scholarly work The Diary of Anne Frank: The Critical
Edition (1989), Anne's first, unedited diary is referred to as version a, to
distinguish it from her second, edited diary, which is known as version b.
The last entry in Anne's diary is dated August 1, 1944. On August 4, 1944, the
eight people hiding in the Secret Annex were arrested. Miep Gies and Bep
Voskuijl, the two secretaries working in the building, found Anne's diaries
strewn allover the floor. ,Miep Gies tucked them away in a desk drawer for
safekeeping. After the war, when it became clear that Anne was dead, she gave
the diaries, unread, to Anne's father, Otto Frank.
After long deliberation, Otto Frank decided to fulfill his daughter's wish and
publish her diary. He selected material from versions a and b, editing them into a
shorter version later referred to as version c. Readers all over the world know
this as The Diary of a fauna Girl.
In making his choice, Otto Frank had to bear several points in mind. To begin
with, the book had to be kept short so that it would fit in with a series put out by
the Dutch publisher. In addition, several passages dealing with Anne's sexuality
were omitted; at the time of the diary's initial publication, in 1947, it was not
customary to write openly about sex, and certainly not in books for young adults.
Out of respect for the dead, Otto Frank also omitted a number of unflattering
passages about his wife and the other residents of the Secret Annex. Anne Frank,
who was thirteen when she began her diary and fifteen when she was forced to
stop, wrote without reserve about her likes and dislikes.
When Otto Frank died in 1980, he willed his daughter's manuscripts to the
Netherlands State Institute for War Documentation in Amsterdam. Because the
authenticity of the diary had been challenged ever since its publication, the
Institute for War Documentation ordered a thorough investigation. Once the
diary was proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be genuine, it was published
in its entirety, along with the results of an exhaustive study. The Critical Edition
contains not only versions a, band c, but also articles on the background of the
Frank family, the circumstances surrounding their arrest and deportation, and the
examination into Anne's handwriting, the document and the materials used.
The Anne Frank-Fonds (Anne Frank Foundation) in Basel (Switzerland),. which
as Otto Frank's sole heir had also inherited his daughter's copyrights, then
decided to have anew, expanded edition of the diary published for general
readers. This new edition in no way affects the integrity of the old one originally
edited by Otto Frank, which brought the diary and its message to millions of
people. The task of compthng the expanded edition was given to the writer and
translator Mirjam Pressler. Otto Frank's original selection has now been
supplemented with passages from Anne's a and b versions. Mirjam Pressler's
definitive edition, approved by the Anne Frank-Fonds, contains approximately
30 percent more material and is intended to give the reader more insight into the
world of Anne Frank.
In writing her second version (b), Anne invented pseudonyms for the people
who would appear in her book. She initially wanted to call herself Anne Aulis,
and later Anne Robin. Otto Frank opted to call his family by their own names
and to follow Anne's wishes with regard to the others. Over the years, the
identity of the people who helped the family in the Secret Annex has become
common knowledge. In this edition, the helpers are now referred to by their real
names, as they so justly deserve to be. All other persons are named in
accordance with the pseudonyms in The Critical Edition.
The Institute for War Documentation has arbitrarily assigned initials to those
persons wishing to remain anonymous.
The real names of the other people hiding in the Secret Annex are:
THE VAN PELS FAMILY
(from Osnabriick, Germany):
Auguste van Pels (born September 9, 1890)
Hermann van Pels (born March 31, 1889)
Peter van Pels (born November 8, 1926)
Called by Anne, in her manuscript: Petronella, Hans and Alfred van Daan; and
in the book: Petronella, Hermann and Peter van Daan.
FRITZ PFEFFER
(born April 30, 1889, in Giessen, Germany): Called by Anne, in her manuscript
and in the book: Alfred Dussel.
The reader may wish to bear in mind that much of this edition is based on the b
version of Anne's diary, which she wrote when she was around fifteen years old.
Occasionally, Anne went back and commented on a passage she had written
earlier. These comments are clearly marked in this edition.
Naturally, Anne's spelling and linguistic errors have been corrected. Otherwise,
the text has basically been left as she wrote it, since any attempts at editing and
clarification would be inappropriate in a historical document.
-- : --
I hope I will be able to confide everything to you, as I have never been able to
confide in anyone, and I hope you will be a great source of comfort and support.
-- : --
June 12, 1942
I hope I will be able to confide everything to you, as I have never been able to
confide in anyone, and I hope you will be a great source of comfort and support.
COMMENT ADDED BY ANNE ON SEPTEMBER 28, 1942: So far you truly
have been a areat source of comfort to me, and so has Kitty, whom I now write
to regularly. This way of keeping a diary is much nicer, and now I can hardly
wait for those moments when I'm able to write in you. Oh, I'm so alad I brought
you along!
SUNDAY, JUNE 14, 1942
I'll begin from the moment I got you, the moment I saw you lying on the table
among my other birthday presents. (I went along when you were bought, but that
doesn't count.) On Friday, June 12, I was awake at six o'clock, which isn't
surprising, since it was my birthday. But I'm not allowed to get up at that hour,
so I had to control my curiosity until quarter to seven. When I couldn't wait any
longer, I went to the dining room, where Moortje (the cat) welcomed me by
rubbing against my legs.
A little after seven I went to Daddy and Mama and then to the living room to
open my presents, and you were the first thing I saw, maybe one of my nicest
presents. Then a bouquet of roses, some peonies and a potted plant. From Daddy
and Mama I got a blue blouse, a game, a bottle of grape juice, which to my mind
tastes a bit like wine (after all, wine is made from grapes), a puzzle, a jar of cold
cream, 2.50
guilders and a gift certificate for two books. I got another book as well, Camera
Obscura (but Margot already has it, so I exchanged mine for something else), a
platter of homemade cookies (which I made myself, of course, since I've become
quite an expert at baking cookies), lots of candy and a strawberry tart from
Mother. And a letter from Grammy, right on time, but of course that was just a
coincidence.
Then Hanneli came to pick me up, and we went to school.
During recess I passed out cookies to my teachers and my class, and then it was
time to get back to work. I didn't arrive home until five, since I went to gym with
the rest of the class. (I'm not allowed to take part because my shoulders and hips
tend to get dislocated.) As it was my birthday, I got to decide which game my
classmates would play, and I chose volleyball. Afterward they all danced around
me in a circle and sang "Happy Birthday." When I got home, Sanne Ledermann
was already there. Ilse Wagner, Hanneli Goslar and Jacqueline van Maarsen
came home with me after gym, since we're in the same class. Hanneli and Sanne
used to be my two best friends. People who saw us together used to say, "There
goes Anne, Hanne and Sanne." I only met Jacqueline van Maarsen when I
started at the Jewish Lyceum, and now she's my best friend. Ilse is Hanneli's best
friend, and Sanne goes to another school and has friends there.
They gave me a beautiful book, Dutch Sasas and Lesends, but they gave me
Volume II by mistake, so I exchanged two other books for Volume I. Aunt
Helene brought me a puzzle, Aunt Stephanie a darling brooch and Aunt Leny a
terrific book: Daisy Goes to the Mountains.
This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a
dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school
with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when
the weather was good.
MONDAY, JUNE 15, 1942
I had my birthday party on Sunday afternoon. The Rin Tin Tin movie was a big
hit with my classmates. I got two brooches, a bookmark and two books. I'll start
by saying a few things about my school and my class, beginning with the
students.
Betty Bloemendaal looks kind of poor, and I think she probably is. She lives on
some obscure street in West Amsterdam, and none of us know where it is. She
does very well at school, but that's because she works so hard, not because she's
so smart. She's pretty quiet.
Jacqueline van Maarsen is supposedly my best friend, but I've never had a real
friend. At first I thought Jacque would be one, but I was badly mistaken.
D.Q.
[
Initials have been assigned at random to those persons who prefer to
remain anonymous.] is a very nervous girl who's always forgetting things, so the
teachers keep assigning her extra homework as punishment. She's very kind,
especially to G.Z.
E.S. talks so much it isn't funny. She's always touching your hair or fiddling with
your buttons when she asks you something. They say she can't stand me, but I
don't care, since I don't like her much either.
Henny Mets is a nice girl with a cheerful disposition, except that she talks in a
loud voice and is really childish when we're playing outdoors. Unfortunately,
Henny has a girlfriend named Beppy who's a bad influence on her because she's
dirty and vulgar.
J.R. - I could write a whole book about her. J. is a detestable, sneaky, stuck-up,
two-faced gossip who thinks she's so grown-up. She's really got Jacque under
her spell, and that's a shame. J. is easily offended, bursts into tears at the slightest
thing and, to top it all off, is a terrible show-off. Miss J. always has to be right.
She's very rich, and has a closet full of the most adorable dresses that are way
too old for her. She thinks she's gorgeous, but she's not. J. and I can't stand each
other.
Ilse Wagner is a nice girl with a cheerful disposition, but she's extremely fInicky
and can spend hours moaning and groaning about something. Ilse likes me a lot.
She's very smart, but lazy.
Hanneli Goslar, or Lies as she's called at school, is a bit on the strange side.
She's usually shy -- outspoken at horne, but reserved around other people. She
blabs whatever you tell her to her mother. But she says what she thinks, and
lately I've corne to appreciate her a great deal.
Nannie van Praag-Sigaar is small, funny and sensible. I think she's nice. She's
pretty smart. There isn't much else you can say about Nannie. Eefje de Jong is, in
my opinion, terrific. Though she's only twelve, she's quite the lady. She acts as if
I were a baby. She's also very helpful, and I like her.
G.Z. is the prettiest girl in our class. She has a nice face, but is kind of dumb. I
think they're going to hold her back a year, but of course I haven't told her that.
COMMENT ADDED BY ANNE AT A LATER DATE: To my areat surprise,
G.Z. wasn't held back a year after all.
And sitting next to G.Z. is the last of us twelve girls, me.
There's a lot to be said about the boys, or maybe not so much after all.
Maurice Coster is one of my many admirers, but pretty much of a pest. Sallie
Springer has a filthy mind, and rumor has it that he's gone all the way. Still, I
think he's terrific, because he's very funny.
Emiel Bonewit is G.Z.'s admirer, but she doesn't care.
He's pretty boring. Rob Cohen used to be in love with me too, but I can't stand
him anymore. He's an obnoxious, two-faced, lying, sniveling little goof who has
an awfully high opinion of himself.
Max van de Velde is a farm boy from Medemblik, but eminently suitable, as
Margot would say.
Herman Koopman also has a filthy mind, just like Jopie de Beer, who's a terrible
flirt and absolutely girl-crazy.
Leo Blom is Jopie de Beer's best friend, but has been ruined by his dirty mind.
Albert de Mesquita came from the Montessori School and skipped a grade. He's
really smart.
Leo Slager came from the same school, but isn't as smart.
Ru Stoppelmon is a short, goofy boy from Almelo who transferred to this school
in the middle of the year.
C.N. does whatever he's not supposed to.
Jacques Kocernoot sits behind us, next to C., and we (G.
and I) laugh ourselves silly.
Harry Schaap is the most decent boy in our class. He's nice.
Werner Joseph is nice too, but all the changes taking place lately have made him
too quiet, so he seems boring. Sam Salomon is one of those tough guys from
across the tracks. A real brat. (Admirer!)
Appie Riem is pretty Orthodox, but a brat too.
SATURDAY, JUNE 20,1942
Writing in a diary is a really strange experience for someone like me. Not only
because I've never written anything before, but also because it seems to me that
later on neither I nor anyone else will be interested in the musings of a thirteen-
year-old schoolgirl. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I feel like writing, and I have an
even greater need to get all kinds of things off my chest.
"Paper has more patience than people." I thought of this saying on one of those
days when I was feeling a little depressed and was sitting at home with my chin
in my hands, bored and listless, wondering whether to stay in or go out. I finally
stayed where I was, brooding. Yes, paper does have more patience, and since I'm
not planning to let anyone else read this stiff-backed notebook grandly referred
to as a
"diary," unless I should ever find a real friend, it probably won't make a bit of
difference.
Now I'm back to the point that prompted me to keep a diary in the first place: I
don't have a friend.
Let me put it more clearly, since no one will believe that a thirteen year-old girl
is completely alone in the world.
And I'm not. I have loving parents and a sixteen-year-old sister, and there are
about thirty people I can call friends.
I have a throng of admirers who can't keep their adoring eyes off me and who
sometimes have to resort to using a broken pocket mirror to try and catch a
glimpse of me in the classroom. I have a family, loving aunts and a good home.
No, on the surface I seem to have everything, except my one true friend. All I
think about when I'm with friends is having a good time. I can't bring myself to
talk about anything but ordinary everyday things. We don't seem to be able to
get any closer, and that's the problem. Maybe it's my fault that we don't confide
in each other. In any case, that's just how things are, and unfortunately they're
not liable to change.
This is why I've started the diary.
To enhance the image of this long-awaited friend in my imagination, I don't want
to jot down the facts in this diary the way most people would do, but I want the
diary to be my friend, and I'm going to call this friend Kitty.
Since no one would understand a word of my stories to Kitty if I were to plunge
right in, I'd better provide a brief sketch of my life, much as I dislike doing so.
My father, the most adorable father I've ever seen, didn't marry my mother until
he was thirty-six and she was twenty-five. My sister Margot was born in
Frankfurt am Main in Germany in 1926. I was born on June 12, 1929. I lived in
Frankfurt until I was four. Because we're Jewish, my father immigrated to
Holland in 1933, when he became the Managing Director of the Dutch Opekta
Company, which manufactures products used in making jam. My mother, Edith
Hollander Frank, went with him to Holland in September, while Margot and I
were sent to Aachen to stay with our grandmother.
Margot went to Holland in December, and I followed in February, when I was
plunked down on the table as a birthday present for Margot.
I started right away at the Montessori nursery school. I stayed there until I was
six, at which time I started first grade. In sixth grade my teacher was Mrs.
Kuperus, the principal. At the end of the year we were both in tears as we said a
heartbreaking farewell, because I'd been accepted at the Jewish Lyceum, where
Margot also went to school.
Our lives were not without anxiety, since our relatives in Germany were
suffering under Hitler's anti-Jewish laws. After the pogroms in 1938 my two
uncles (my mother's brothers) fled Germany, finding safe refuge in North
America. My elderly grandmother came to live with us. She was seventy-three
years old at the time.
After May 1940 the good times were few and far between: first there was the
war, then the capitulation and then the arrival of the Germans, which is when the
trouble started for the Jews. Our freedom was severely restricted by a series of
anti-Jewish decrees: Jews were required to wear a yellow star; Jews were
required to turn in their bicycles; Jews were forbidden to use streetcars; Jews
were forbidden to ride in cars, even their own; Jews were required to do their
shopping between 3 and 5 P.M.; Jews were required to frequent only Jewish-
owned barbershops and beauty parlors; Jews were forbidden to be out on the
streets between 8 P.M. and 6 A.M.; Jews were forbidden to attend theaters,
movies or any other forms of entertainment; Jews were forbidden to use
swimming pools, tennis courts, hockey fields or any other athletic fields; Jews
were forbidden to go rowing; Jews were forbidden to take part in any athletic
activity in public; Jews were forbidden to sit in their gardens or those of their
friends after 8 P.M.; Jews were forbidden to visit Christians in their homes; Jews
were required to attend Jewish schools,
etc.
You couldn't do this and you
couldn't do that, but life went on. Jacque always said to me, "I don't dare do
anything anymore, 'cause I'm afraid it's not allowed."
In the summer of 1941 Grandma got sick and had to have an operation, so my
birthday passed with little celebration. In the summer of 1940 we didn't do much
for my birthday either, since the fighting had just ended in Holland. Grandma
died in January 1942. No one knows how often I think of her and still love her.
This birthday celebration in 1942 was intended to make up for the others, and
Grandma's candle was lit along with the rest.
The four of us are still doing well, and that brings me to the present date of June
20, 1942, and the solemn dedication of my diary.
SATURDAY, JUNE 20, 1942
Dearest Kitty! Let me get started right away; it's nice and quiet now. Father and
Mother are out and Margot has gone to play Ping-Pong with some other young
people at her friend Trees's. I've been playing a lot of Ping-Pong myself lately.
So much that five of us girls have formed a club. It's called
"The Little Dipper Minus Two." A really silly name, but it's based on a mistake.
We wanted to give our club a special name; and because there were five of us,
we came up with the idea of the Little Dipper. We thought it consisted of five
stars, but we turned out to be wrong. It has seven, like the Big Dipper, which
explains the "Minus Two." Ilse Wagner has a Ping-Pong set, and the Wagners let
us play in their big dining room whenever we want. Since we five Ping-Pong
players like ice cream, especially in the summer, and since you get hot playing
Ping-Pong, our games usually end with a visit to the nearest ice-cream parlor
that allows Jews: either Oasis or Delphi. We've long since stopped hunting
around for our purses or money -- most of the time it's so busy in Oasis that we
manage to find a few generous young men of our acquaintance or an admirer to
offer us more ice cream than we could eat in a week.
You're probably a little surprised to hear me talking about admirers at such a
tender age. Unfortunately, or not, as the case may be, this vice seems to be
rampant at our school. As soon as a boy asks if he can bicycle home with me and
we get to talking, nine times out of ten I can be sure he'll become enamored on
the spot and won't let me out of his sight for a second. His ardor eventually
cools, especially since I ignore his passionate glances and pedal blithely on my
way. If it gets so bad that they start rambling on about
"asking Father's permission," I swerve slightly on my bike, my schoolbag falls,
and the young man feels obliged to get off his bike and hand me the bag, by
which time I've switched the conversation to another topic. These are the most
innocent types. Of course, there are those who blow you kisses or try to take
hold of your arm, but they're definitely knocking on the wrong door. I get off my
bike and either refuse to make further use of their company or act as if I'm
insulted and tell them in no uncertain terms to go on home without me. There
you are. We've now laid the basis for our friendship. Until tomorrow.
Yours, Anne
SUNDAY, JUNE 21, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Our entire class is quaking in its boots. The reason, of course, is the upcoming
meeting in which the teachers decide who'll be promoted to the next grade and
who'll be kept back.
Half the class is making bets. G.Z. and I laugh ourselves sick at the two boys
behind us, C.N. and Jacques Kocernoot, who have staked their entire vacation
savings on their bet.
From morning to night, it's "You're going to pass, No, I'm not," "Yes, you are,"
"No, I'm not." Even G.'s pleading glances and my angry outbursts can't calm
them down. If you ask me, there are so many dummies that about a quarter of the
class should be kept back, but teachers are the most unpredictable creatures on
earth. Maybe this time they'll be unpredictable in the right direction for a change.
I'm not so worried about my girlfriends and myself.
We'll make it. The only subject I'm not sure about is math. Anyway, all we can
do is wait. Until then, we keep telling each other not to lose heart.
I get along pretty well with all my teachers. There are nine of them, seven men
and two women. Mr. Keesing, the old fogey who teaches math, was mad at me
for the longest time because I talked so much. After several warnings, he
assigned me extra homework. An essay on the subject "A Chatterbox." A
chatterbox, what can you write about that? I'd wbrry about that later, I decided. I
jotted down the assignment in my notebook, tucked it in my bag and tried to
keep quiet.
That evening, after I'd finished the rest of my homework, the note about the
essay caught my eye. I began thinking about the subject while chewing the tip of
my fountain pen.
Anyone could ramble on and leave big spaces between the words, but the trick
was to come up with convincing arguments to prove the necessity of talking. I
thought and thought, and suddenly I had an idea. I wrote the three pages Mr.
Keesing had assigned me and was satisfied. I argued that talking is a female trait
and that I would do my best to keep it under control, but that I would never be
able to break myself of the habit, since my mother talked as much as I did, if not
more, and that there's not much you can do about inherited traits.
Mr. Keesing had a good laugh at my arguments, but when I proceeded to talk my
way through the next class, he assigned me a second essay. This time it was
supposed to be on "An Incorrigible Chatterbox." I handed it in, and Mr. Keesing
had nothing to complain about for two whole classes. However, during the third
class he'd finally had enough. "Anne Frank, as punishment for talking in class,
write an essay entitled
'Quack, Quack, Quack,' said Mistress Chatterback.'"
The class roared. I had to laugh too, though I'd ) nearly exhausted my ingenuity
on the topic of chatterboxes. It was time to come up with something else, j
something original. My friend Sanne, who's good at poetry, offered to help me
write the essay from beginning to end in verse. I jumped for joy.
Keesing was trying to play a joke on me with this ridiculous subject, but I'd
make sure the joke was on him. I finished my poem, and it was beautiful! It was
about a mother duck and a father swan with three baby ducklings who were
bitten to death by the father because they quacked too much. Luckily, Keesing
took the joke the right way. He read the poem to the class, adding his own
comments, and to several other classes as well. Since then I've been allowed to
talk and haven't been assigned any extra homework. On the contrary, Keesing's
always i making jokes these days.
Yours, Anne
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
It's sweltering. Everyone is huffing and puffing, and in this heat I have to walk
everywhere. Only now do I realize how pleasant a streetcar is, but we Jews are
no longer allowed to make use of this luxury; our own two feet are good enough
for us. Yesterday at lunchtime I had an appointment with the dentist on Jan
Luykenstraat. It's a long way from our school on Stadstimmertuinen. That
afternoon I nearly fell asleep at my desk. Fortunately, people automatically offer
you something to drink. The dental assistant is really kind.
The only mode of transportation left to us is the ferry.
The ferryman at Josef Israelkade took us across when we asked him to. It's not
the fault of the Dutch that we Jews are having such a bad time.
I wish I didn't have to go to school. My bike was stolen during Easter vacation,
and Father gave Mother's bike to some Christian friends for safekeeping. Thank
goodness summer vacation is almost here; one more week and our torment will
be over.
Something unexpected happened yesterday morning. As I was passing the
bicycle racks, I heard my name being called. I turned around and there was the
nice boy I'd met the evening before at my friend Wilma's. He's Wilma's second
cousin. I used to think Wilma was nice, which she is, but all she ever talks about
is boys, and that gets to be a bore. He came toward me, somewhat shyly, and
introduced himself as Hello Silberberg. I was a little surprised and wasn't sure
what he wanted, but it didn't take me long to find out. He asked if I would allow
him to accompany me to school. "As long as you're headed that way, I'll go with
you," I said. And so we walked together. Hello is sixteen and good at telling all
kinds of funny stories.
He was waiting for me again this morning, and I expect he will be from now on.
Anne
WEDNESDAY, JULY 1, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Until today I honestly couldn't find the time to write you. I was with friends all
day Thursday, we had company on Friday, and that's how it went until today.
Hello and I have gotten to know each other very well this past week, and he's
told me a lot about his life. He comes from Gelsenkirchen and is living with his
grandparents. His parents are in Belgium, but there's no way he can get there.
Hello used to have a girlfriend named Ursula. I know her too.
She's perfectly sweet and perfectly boring. Ever since he met me, Hello has
realized that he's been falling asleep at Ursul's side. So I'm kind of a pep tonic.
You never know what you're good for!
Jacque spent Saturday night here. Sunday afternoon she was at Hanneli's, and I
was bored stiff.
Hello was supposed to come over that evening, but he called around six. I
answered the phone, and he said, "This is Helmuth Silberberg. May I please
speak to Anne?"
"Oh, Hello. This is Anne."
"Oh, hi, Anne. How are you?" "
"Fine, thanks."
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry but I can't come tonight, though I would like to
have a word with you. Is it all right if I come by and pick you up in about ten
minutes
"Yes, that's fine. Bye-bye!"
"Okay, I'll be right over. Bye-bye!"
I hung up, quickly changed my clothes and fixed my hair. I was so nervous I
leaned out the window to watch for him. He finally showed up. Miracle of
miracles, I didn't rush down the stairs, but waited quietly until he rang the bell. I
went down to open the door, and he got right to the point.
"Anne, my grandmother thinks you're too young for me to be seeing you on a
regular basis. She says I should be going to the Lowenbachs', but you probably
know that I'm not going out with Ursul anymore."
"No, I didn't know. What happened? Did you two have a fight?"
"No, nothing like that. I told Ursul that we weren't suited to each other and so it
was better for us not to go together anymore, but that she was welcome at my
house and I hoped I would be welcome at hers. Actually, I thought Ursul was
hanging around with another boy, and I treated her as if she were. But that wasn't
true. And then my uncle said I should apologize to her, but of course I didn't feel
like it, and that's why I broke up with her. But that was just one of the reasons.
"Now my grandmother wants me to see Ursul and not you, but I don't agree and
I'm not going to. Sometimes old people have really old-fashioned ideas, but that
doesn't mean I have to go along with them. I need my grandparents, but in a
certain sense they need me too. From now on I'll be free on Wednesday
evenings. You see, my grandparents made me sign up for a wood-carving class,
but actually I go to a club organized by the Zionists. My grandparents don't want
me to go, because they're anti-Zionists. I'm not a fanatic Zionist, but it interests
me. Anyway, it's been such a mess lately that I'm planning to quit. So next
Wednesday will be my last meeting.
That means I can see you Wednesday evening, Saturday afternoon, Saturday
evening, Sunday afternoon and maybe even more."
"But if your grandparents don't want you to, you?
shouldn't go behind their backs."
"All's fair in love and war."
Just then we passed Blankevoort's Bookstore and there was Peter Schiff with two
other boys; it was the first time he'd said hello to me in ages, and it really made
me feel good.
Monday evening Hello came over to meet Father and Mother.
I had bought a cake and some candy, and we had tea and cookies, the works, but
neither Hello nor I felt like sitting stiffly on our chairs. So we went out for a
walk, and he didn't deliver me to my door until ten past eight. Father was
furious. He said it was very wrong of me not to get home on time. I had to
promise to be home by ten to eight in the future. I've been asked to Hello's on
Saturday.
Wilma told me that one night when Hello was at her house, she asked him,
"Who do you like best, Ursul or Anne?"
He said, "It's none of your business."
But as he was leaving (they hadn't talked to each other the rest of the evening),
he said, "Well, I like Anne better, but don't tell anyone. Bye!" And whoosh. . . he
was out the door.
In everything he says or does, I can see that Hello is in love with me, and it's
kind of nice for a change. Margot would say that Hello is eminently suitable. I
think so too, but he's more than that. Mother is also full of praise: "A good-
looking boy. Nice and polite." I'm glad he's so popular with everyone. Except
with my girlfriends. He thinks they're very childish, and he's right about that.
Jacque still teases me about him, but I'm not in love with him. Not really. It's all
right for me to have boys as friends. Nobody minds.
Mother is always asking me who I'm going to marry when I grow up, but I bet
she'll never guess it's Peter, because I talked her out of that idea myself, without
batting an eyelash. I love Peter as I've never loved anyone, and I tell myself he's
only going around with all those other girls to hide his feelings for me. Maybe he
thinks Hello and I are in love with each other, which we're not. He's just a friend,
or as Mother puts it, a beau.
Yours, Anne
SUNDAY, JULY 5, 1942
Dear Kitty,
The graduation ceremony in the Jewish Theater on Friday went as expected. My
report card wasn't too bad. I got one D, a C-in algebra and all the rest B's, except
for two B+'s and two B-'s. My parents are pleased, but they're not like other
parents when it comes to grades. They never worry about report cards, good or
bad. As long as I'm healthy and happy and don't talk back too much, they're
satisfied. If these three things are all right, everything else will take care of itself.
I'm just the opposite. I don't want to be a poor student.
I was accepted to the Jewish Lyceum on a conditional basis. I was supposed to
stay in the seventh grade at the Montessori School, but when Jewish children
were required to go to Jewish schools, Mr. Elte finally agreed, after a great deal
of persuasion, to accept Lies Goslar and me. Lies also passed this year, though
she has to repeat her geometry exam.
Poor Lies. It isn't easy for her to study at home; her baby sister, a spoiled little
two-year-old, plays in her room all day. If Gabi doesn't get her way, she starts
screaming, and if Lies doesn't look after her, Mrs. Goslar starts screaming. So
Lies has a hard time doing her homework, and as long as that's the case, the
tutoring she's been getting won't help much. The Goslar household is really a
sight. Mrs.
Goslar's parents live next door, but eat with the family. The there's a hired girl,
the baby, the always absentminded and absent Mr. Goslar and the always
nervous and irrita Ie Mrs.
Goslar, who's expecting another baby. Lies, who's all thumbs, gets lost in the
mayhem.
My sister Margot has also gotten her report card.
Brilliant, as usual. If we had such a thing as "cum laude," she would have passed
with honors, she's so smart.
Father has been home a lot lately. There's nothing for him to do at the office; it
must be awful to feel you're not needed. Mr. Kleiman has taken over Opekta,
and Mr. Kugler, Gies & Co., the company dealing in spices and spice substitutes
that was set up in 1941.
A few days ago, as we were taking a stroll around our neighborhood square,
Father began to talk about going into hiding. He said it would be very hard for us
to live cut off from the rest of the world. I asked him why he was bringing this
up now.
"Well, Anne," he replied, "you know that for more than a year we've been
bringing clothes, food and furniture to other people. We don't want our
belongings to be seized by the Germans. Nor do we want to fall into their
clutches ourselves. So we'll leave of our own accord and not wait to be hauled
away."
"But when, Father?" He sounded so serious that I felt scared.
"Don't you worry. We'll take care of everything. just enjoy your carefree life
while you can."
That was it. Oh, may these somber words not come true for as long as possible.
The doorbell's ringing, Hello's here, time to stop.
Yours, Anne
WEDNESDAY, JULY 8, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
It seems like years since Sunday morning. So much has happened it's as if the
whole world had suddenly turned upside down. But as you can see, Kitty, I'm
still alive, and that's the main thing, Father says. I'm alive all right, but don't ask
where or how. You probably don't understand a word I'm saying today, so I'll
begin by telling you what happened Sunday afternoon.
At three o'clock (Hello had left but was supposed to come back later), the
doorbell rang. I didn't hear it, since I was out on the balcony, lazily reading in
the sun. A little while later Margot appeared in the kitchen doorway looking very
agitated. "Father has received a call-up notice from the SS,"
she whispered. "Mother has gone to see Mr. van Daan" (Mr. van Daan is Father's
business partner and a good friend.) I was stunned. A call-up: everyone knows
what that means.
Visions of concentration camps and lonely cells raced through my head. How
could we let Father go to such a fate? "Of course he's not going," declared
Margot as we waited for Mother in the living room. "Mother's gone to Mr. van
Daan to ask whether we can move to our hiding place tomorrow. The van Daans
are going with us. There will be seven of us altogether." Silence. We couldn't
speak. The thought of Father off visiting someone in the Jewish Hospital and
completely unaware of what was happening, the long wait for Mother, the heat,
the suspense -- all this reduced us to silence.
Suddenly the doorbell rang again. "That's Hello," I said.
"Don't open the door!" exclaimed Margot to stop me. But it wasn't necessary,
since we heard Mother and Mr. van Daan downstairs talking to Hello, and then
the two of them came inside and shut the door behind them. Every time the bell
rang, either Margot or I had to tiptoe downstairs to see if it was Father, and we
didn't let anyone else in. Margot and I were sent from the room, as Mr. van Daan
wanted to talk to Mother alone.
When she and I were sitting in our bedroom, Margot told me that the call-up was
not for Father, but for her. At this second shock, I began to cry. Margot is sixteen
-- apparently they want to send girls her age away on their own. But thank
goodness she won't be going; Mother had said so herself, which must be what
Father had meant when he talked to me about our going into hiding. Hiding. . .
where would we hide?
In the city? In the country? In a house? In a shack? When, where, how. . . ?
These were questions I wasn't allowed to ask, but they still kept running through
my mind.
Margot and I started packing our most important belongings into a schoolbag.
The first thing I stuck in was this diary, and then curlers, handkerchiefs,
schoolbooks, a comb and some old letters. Preoccupied by the thought of going
into hiding, I stuck the craziest things in the bag, but I'm not sorry.
Memories mean more to me than dresses.
Father finally came hQme around five o'clock, and we called Mr. Kleiman to ask
if he could come by that evening.
Mr. van Daan left and went to get Miep. Miep arrived and promised to return
later that night, taking with her a bag full of shoes, dresses, jackets, underwear
and stockings.
After that it was quiet in our apartment; none of us felt like eating. It was still
hot, and everything was very strange.
We had rented our big upstairs room to a Mr. Goldschmidt, a divorced man in
his thirties, who apparently had nothing to do that evening, since despite all our
polite hints he hung around until ten o'clock.
Miep and Jan Gies came at eleven. Miep, who's worked for Father's company
since 1933, has become a close friend, and so has her husband Jan. Once again,
shoes, stockings, books and underwear disappeared into Miep's bag and Jan's
deep pockets. At eleven-thirty they too disappeared.
I was exhausted, and even though I knew it'd be my last night in my own bed, I
fell asleep right away and didn't wake up until Mother called me at five-thirty the
next morning.
Fortunately, it wasn't as hot as Sunday; a warm rain fell throughout the day. The
four of us were wrapped in so many layers of clothes it looked as if we were
going off to spend the night in a refrigerator, and all that just so we could take
more clothes with us. No Jew in our situation would dare leave the house with a
suitcase full of clothes. I was wearing two undershirts, three pairs of underpants,
a dress, and over that a skirt, a jacket, a raincoat, two pairs of stockings, heavy
shoes, a cap, a scarf and lots more. I was suffocating even before we left the
house, but no one bothered to ask me how I felt.
Margot stuffed her schoolbag with schoolbooks, went to get her bicycle and,
with Miep leading the way, rode off into the great unknown. At any rate, that's
how I thought of it, since I still didn't know where our hiding place was.
At seven-thirty we too closed the door behind us; Moortje, my cat, was the only
living creature I said good-bye to.
According to a note we left for Mr. Goldschmidt, she was to be taken to the
neighbors, who would give her a good home.
The stripped beds, the breakfast things on the table, the pound of meat for the cat
in the kitchen -- all of these created the impression that we'd left in a hurry. But
we weren't interested in impressions. We just wanted to get out of there, to get
away and reach our destination in safety.
Nothing else mattered.
More tomorrow.
Yours, Anne
THURSDAY, JULY 9, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
So there we were, Father, Mother and I, walking in the pouring rain, each of us
with a schoolbag and a shopping bag filled to the brim with the most varied
assortment of items.
The people on their way to work at that early hour gave us sympathetic looks;
you could tell by their faces that they were sorry they couldn't offer us some kind
of transportation; the conspicuous yellow star spoke for itself.
Only when we were walking down the street did Father and Mother reveal, little
by little, what the plan was. For months we'd been moving as much of our
furniture and apparel out of the apartment as we could. It was agreed that we'd
go into hiding on July 16. Because of Margot's call-up notice, the plan had to be
moved up ten days, which meant we'd have to make do with less orderly rooms.
The hiding place was located in Father's office building.
That's a little hard for outsiders to understand, so I'll explain. Father didn't have a
lot of people working in his office, just Mr. Kugler, Mr. Kleiman, Miep and a
twenty-three-year-old typist named Bep Voskuijl, all of whom were informed of
our coming. Mr. Voskuijl, Bep's father, works in the warehouse, along with two
assistants, none of whom were told anything.
Here's a description of the building. The large warehouse on the ground floor is
used as a workroom and storeroom and is divided into several different sections,
such as the stockroom and the milling room, where cinnamon, cloves and a
pepper substitute are ground.
Next to the warehouse doors is another outside' door, a separate entrance to the
office. Just inside the office door is a second door, and beyond that a stairway.
At the top of the stairs is another door, with a frosted window on which the word
"Office" is written in black letters. This is the big front office -- very large, very
light and very full.
Bep, Miep and Mr. Kleiman work there during the day. After passing through an
alcove containing a safe, a wardrobe and a big supply cupboard, you come to the
small, dark, stuffy back office. This used to be shared by Mr. Kugler and Mr.
van Daan, but now Mr. Kugler is its only occupant. Mr. Kugler's office can also
be reached from the hallway, but only through a glass door that can be opened
from the inside but not easily from the outside. If you leave Mr. Kugler's office
and proceed through the long, narrow hallway past the coal bin and go up four
steps, you find yourself in the private office, the showpiece of the entire
building. Elegant mahogany furniture, a linoleum floor covered with throw rugs,
a radio, a fancy lamp, everything first class. Next door is a spacious kitchen with
a hot-water heater and two gas burners, and beside that a bathroom. That's the
second floor.
A wooden staircase leads from the downstairs hallway to the third floor. At the
top of the stairs is a landing, with doors on either side. The door on the left takes
you up to the spice storage area, attic and loft in the front part of the house. A
typically Dutch, very steep, ankle-twisting flight of stairs also runs from the
front part of the house to another door opening onto the street.
The door to the right of the landing leads to the "Secret Annex" at the back ofthe
house. No one would ever suspect there were so many rooms behind that plain
gray door. There's just one small step in front of the door, and then you're inside.
Straight ahead of you is a steep flight of stairs. To the left is a narrow hallway
opening onto a room that serves as the Frank family's living
[INSERT MAP HERE]
room and bedroom. Next door is a smaller room, the )edroom and study of the
two young ladies of the family. ro the right of the stairs is a windowless
washroom. with a link. The door in the corner leads to the toilet and another one
to Margot's and my room. If you go up the itairs and open the door at the top,
you're surprised to see such a large, light and spacious room in an old canalside
house like this. It contains a stove (thanks to the fact hat it used to be Mr.
Kugler's laboratory) and a sink.
This will be the kitchen and bedroom of Mr. and Mrs. van Daan, as well as the
general living room, dining room and study for us all. A tiny side room is to be
Peter van Daan's bedroom. Then, just as in the front part of the building, there's
an attic and a loft. So there you are. Now I've introduced you to the whole of our
lovely Annex!
Yours, Anne
FRIDAY, JULY 10, 1942
Dearest Kitty, I've probably bored you with my long description of our house,
but I still think you should know where I've ended up; how I ended up here is
something you'll figure out from my next letters.
But first, let me continue my story, because, as you know, I wasn't finished.
After we arrived at 263 Prinsengracht, Miep quickly led us through the long
hallway and up the wooden staircase to the next floor and into the Annex. She
shut the door behind us, leaving us alone. Margot had arrived much earlier on
her bike and was waiting for us.
Our living room and all the other rooms were so full of stuff that I can't find the
words to describe it. All the cardboard boxes that had been sent to the office in
the last few months were piled on the floors and beds. The small room was filled
from floor to cethng with linens. If we wanted to sleep in properly made beds
that night, we had to get going and straighten up the mess. Mother and Margot
were unable to move a muscle. They lay down on their bare mattresses, tired,
miserable and I don't know what else. But Father and I, the two cleaner-uppers in
the family, started in right away.
All day long we unpacked boxes, filled cupboards, hammered nails and
straightened up the mess, until we fell exhausted into our clean beds at night. We
hadn't eaten a hot meal all day, but we didn't care; Mother and Margot were too
tired and keyed up to eat, and Father and I were too busy.
Tuesday morning we started where we left off the night before. Bep and Miep
went grocery shopping with our ration coupons, Father worked on our blackout
screens, we scrubbed the kitchen floor, and were once again busy from sunup to
sundown. Until Wednesday, I didn't have a chance to think about the enormous
change in my life. Then for the first time since our arrival in the Secret Annex, I
found a moment to tell you all about it and to realize what had happened to me
and what was yet to happen.
Yours, Anne
SATURDAY, JULY 11, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Father, Mother and Margot still can't get used to the chiming of the Westertoren
clock, which tells us the time every quarter of an hour. Not me, I liked it from
the start; it sounds so reassuring, especially at night. You no doubt want to hear
what I think of being in hiding. Well, all I can say is that I don't really know yet.
I don't think I'll ever feel at home in this house, but that doesn't mean I hate it.
It's more like being on vacation in some strange pension.
Kind of an odd way to look at life in hiding, but that's how things are. The
Annex is an ideal place to hide in. It may be damp and lopsided, but there's
probably not a more comfortable hiding place in all of Amsterdam. No, in all of
Holland.
Up to now our bedroom, with its blank walls, was very bare. Thanks to Father --
who brought my entire postcard and movie-star collection here beforehand --
and to a brush and a pot of glue, I was able to plaster the walls with pictures.
It looks much more cheerful. When the van Daans arrive, we'll be able to build
cupboards and other odds and ends out of the wood piled in the attic.
Margot and Mother have recovered somewhat. Yesterday Mother felt well
enough to cook split-pea soup for the first time, but then she was
downstairstalking and forgot all about it. The beans were scorched black, and no
amount of scraping could get them out of the pan.
Last night the four of us went down to the private office and listened to England
on the radio. I was so scared someone might hear it that I literally begged Father
to take me back upstairs. Mother understood my anxiety and went with me.
Whatever we do, we're very afraid the neighbors might hear or see us. We
started off immediately the first day sewing curtains. Actually, you can hardly
call them that, since they're nothing but scraps of fabric, varying greatly in
shape, quality and pattern, which Father and I stitched crookedly together with
unskilled fingers. These works of art were tacked to the windows, where they'll
stay until we come out of hiding.
The building on our right is a branch of the Keg Company, a firm from
Zaandam, and on the left is a furniture workshop.
Though the people who work there are not on the premises after hours, any
sound we make might travel through the walls. We've forbidden Margot to
cough at night, even though she has a bad cold, and are giving her large doses of
codeine.
I'm looking forward to the arrival of the van Daans, which is set for Tuesday. It
will be much more fun and also not as quiet. You see, it's the silence that makes
me so nervous during the evenings and nights, and I'd give anything to have one
of our helpers sleep here.
It's really not that bad here, since we can do our own cooking and can listen to
the radio in Daddy's office.
Mr. Kleiman and Miep, and Bep Voskuijl too, have helped us so much. We've
already canned loads of rhubarb, strawberries and cherries, so for the time being
I doubt we'll be bored.
We also have a supply of reading material, and we're going to buy lots of games.
Of course, we can't ever look out the window or go outside. And we have to be
quiet so the people downstairs can't hear us.
Yesterday we had our hands full. We had to pit two crates of cherries for Mr.
Kugler to can. We're going to use the empty crates to make bookshelves.
Someone's calling me.
Yours, Anne
COMMENT ADDED BY ANNE ON SEPTEMBER 2g, 1942: Not beina able to
ao outside upsets me more than I can say, and I'm terrified our hidina place will
be discovered and that we'll be shot. That, of course, is a fairly dismal prospect.
SUNDAY, JULY 12, 1942
They've all been so nice to me this last month because of my birthday, and yet
every day I feel myself drifting further away from Mother and Margot. I worked
hard today and they praised me, only to start picking on me again five minutes
later.
You can easily see the difference between the way they deal with Margot and the
way they deal with me. For example, Margot broke the vacuum cleaner, and
because of that we've been without light for the rest of the day. Mother said,
"Well, Margot, it's easy to see you're not used to working; otherwise, you'd have
known better than to yank the plug out by the cord." Margot made some reply,
and that was the end of the story.
But this afternoon, when I wanted to rewrite something on Mother's shopping
list because her handwriting is so hard to read, she wouldn't let me. She bawled
me out again, and the whole family wound up getting involved.
I don't fit in with them, and I've felt that clearly in the last few weeks. They're so
sentimental together, but I'd rather be sentimental on my own. They're always
saying how nice it is with the four of us, and that we get along so well, without
giving a moment's thought to the fact that I don't feel that way.
Daddy's the only one who understands me, now and again, though he usually
sides with Mother and Margot. Another thing I can't stand is having them talk
about me in front of outsiders, telling them how I cried or how sensibly I'm
behaving. It's horrible. And sometimes they talk about Moortje and I can't take
that at all. Moortje is my weak spot. I miss her every minute of the day, and no
one knows how often I think of her; whenever I do, my eyes fill with tears.
Moortje is so sweet, and I love her so much that I keep dreaming she'll come
back to us.
I have plenty of dreams, but the reality is that we'll have to stay here until the
war is over. We can't ever go outside, and the only visitors we can have are
Miep, her husband Jan, Bep Voskuijl, Mr. Voskuijl, Mr. Kugler, Mr.
Kleiman and Mrs. Kleiman, though she hasn't come because she thinks it's too
dangerous.
COMMENT ADDED BY ANNE IN SEPTEMBER 1942: Daddy's always so
nice. He understands me perfectly, and I wish we could have a heart-to-heart talk
sometime without my bursting instantly into tears. But apparently that has to do
with my age. I'd like to spend all my time writing, but that would probably get
boring.
Up to now I've only confided my thoughts to my diary. I still haven't gotten
around to writing amusing sketches that I could read aloud at a later date. In the
future I'm going to devote less time to sentimentality and more time to reality.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 14, 1942
Dear Kitty,
I've deserted you for an entire month, but so little has happened that I can't find a
newsworthy item to relate every single day. The van Daans arrived on July 13.
We thought they were coming on the fourteenth, but from the thirteenth to
sixteenth the Germans were sending out call-up notices right and left and
causing a lot of unrest, so they decided it would be safer to leave a day too early
than a day too late.
Peter van Daan arrived at nine-thirty in the morning (while we were still at
breakfast). Peter's going on sixteen, a shy, awkward boy whose company won't
amount to much. Mr.
and Mrs. van Daan came half an hour later.
Much to our amusement, Mrs. van Daan was carrying a hatbox with a large
chamber pot inside. "I just don't feel at home without my chamber pot," she
exclaimed, and it was the first item to find a permanent place under the divan.
Instead of a chamber pot, Mr. van D. was lugging a collapsible tea table under
his arm.
From the first, we ate our meals together, and after three days it felt as if the
seven of us had become one big family.
Naturally, the van Daans had much to tell about the week we'd been away from
civilization. We were especially interested in what had happened to our
apartment and to Mr. Goldschmidt.
Mr. van Daan filled us in: "Monday morning at nine, Mr.
Goldschmidt phoned and asked if I could come over. I went straightaway and
found a very distraught Mr. Goldschmidt. He showed me a note that the Frank
family had left behind. As instructed, he was planning to bring the cat to the
neighbors, which I agreed was a good idea. He was afraid the house was going
to be searched, so we w=nt through all the rooms, straightening up here and
there and clearing the breakfast things off the table. Suddenly I saw a notepad on
Mrs. Frank's desk, with an address in Maastricht written on it. Even though I
knew Mrs. Frank had left it on purpose, I pretended to be surprised and horrified
and begged Mr.
Goldschmidt to burn this incriminating piece of paper. I swore up and down that
I knew nothing about your disappearance, but that the note had given me an idea.
'Mr.
Goldschmidt,' I said, 'I bet I know what this address refers to. About six months
ago a high-ranking officer came to the office. It seems he and Mr. Frank grew up
together. He promised to help Mr. Frank if it was ever necessary. As I recall, he
was stationed in Maastricht. I think this officer has kept his word and is
somehow planning to help them cross over to Belgium and then to Switzerland.
There's no harm in telling this to any friends of the Franks who come asking
about them. Of course, you don't need to mention the part about Maastricht.' And
after that I left. This is the story most of your friends have been told, because I
heard it later from several other people."
We thought it was extremely funny, but we laughed even harder when Mr. van
Daan told us that certain people have vivid imaginations. For example, one
family living on our square claimed they sawall four of us riding by on our bikes
early in the morning, and another woman was absolutely positive we'd been
loaded into some kind of military vehicle in the middle of the night.
Yours, Anne
FRIDAY, AUGUST 21, 1942
Dear Kitty,
Now our Secret Annex has truly become secret.
Because so many houses are being searched for hidden bicycles, Mr. Kugler
thought it would be better to have a bookcase built in front of the entrance to our
hiding place.
It swings out on its hinges and opens like a door. Mr.
Voskuijl did the carpentry work. (Mr. Voskuijl has been told that the seven of us
are in hiding, and he's been most helpful.)
Now whenever we want to go downstairs we have to duck and then jump. After
the first three days we were all walking around with bumps on our foreheads
from banging our heads against the low doorway. Then Peter cushioned it by
nailing a towel stuffed with wood shavings to the doorframe. Let's see if it helps!
I'm not doing much schoolwork. I've given myself a vacation until September.
Father wants to start tutoring me then, but we have to buy all the books first.
There's little change in our lives here. Peter's hair was washed today, but that's
nothing special. Mr. van Daan and I are always at loggerheads with each other.
Mama always treats me like a baby, which I can't stand. For the rest, things are
going better. I don't think Peter's gotten any nicer. He's an obnoxious boy who
lies around on his bed all day, only rousing himself to do a little carpentry work
before returning to his nap. What a dope!
Mama gave me another one of her dreadful sermons this morning. We take the
opposite view of everything. Daddy's a sweetheart; he may get mad at me, but it
never lasts longer than five minutes.
It's a beautiful day outside, nice and hot, and in spite of everything, we make the
most of the weather by lounging on the folding bed in the attic.
Yours, Anne
COMMENT ADDED BY ANNE ON SEPTEMBER 21, 1942: Mr. van Daan
has been as nice as pie to me recently. I've said nothina, but have been enjoyina
it while it lasts.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Mr. and Mrs. van Daan have had a terrible fight. I've never seen anything like it,
since Mother and Father wouldn't dream of shouting at each other like that. The
argument was based on something so trivial it didn't seem worth wasting a single
word on it. Oh well, to each his own.
Of course, it's very difficult for Peter, who gets caught in the middle, but no one
takes Peter seriously anymore, since he's hypersensitive and lazy. Yesterday he
was beside himself with worry because his tongue was blue instead of pink. This
rare phenomenon disappeared as quickly as it came.
Today he's walking around with a heavy scarf on because he's got a stiff neck.
His Highness has been complaining of lumbago too. Aches and pains in his
heart, kidneys and lungs are also par for the course. He's an absolute
hypochondriac!
(That's the right word, isn't it?)
Mother and Mrs. van Daan aren't getting along very well.
There are enough reasons for the friction. To give you one small example, Mrs.
van D. has removed all but three of her sheets from our communal linen closet.
She's assuming that Mother's can be used for both families. She'll be in for a
nasty surprise when she discovers that Mother has followed her lead.
Furthermore, Mrs. van D. is ticked off because we're using her china instead of
ours. She's still trying to find out what we've done with our plates; they're a lot
closer than she thinks, since they're packed in cardboard boxes in the attic,
behind a load of Opekta advertising material. As long as we're in hiding, the
plates will remain out of her reach.
Since I'm always having accidents, it's just as well!
Yesterday I broke one of Mrs. van D.'s soup bowls.
"Oh!" she angrily exclaimed. "Can't you be more careful?
That was my last one."
Please bear in mind, Kitty, that the two ladies speak abominable Dutch (I don't
dare comment on the gentlemen: they'd be highly insulted). If you were to hear
their bungled attempts, you'd laugh your head off. We've given up pointing out
their errors, since correcting them doesn't help anyway.
Whenever I quote Mother or Mrs. van Daan, I'll write proper Dutch instead of
trying to duplicate their speech.
Last week there was a brief interruption in our monotonous routine. This was
provided by Peter -- and a book about women. I should explain that Margot and
Peter are allowed to read nearly all the books Mr. Kleiman lends us. But the
adults preferred to keep this special book to themselves.
This immediately piqued Peter's curiosity. What forbidden fruit did it contain?
He snuck off with it when his mother was downstairs talking, and took himself
and his booty to the loft. For two days all was well. Mrs. van Daan knew what he
was up to, but kept mum until Mr. van Daan found out about it. He threw a fit,
took the book away and assumed that would be the end of the business.
However, he'd neglected to take his son's curiosity into account. Peter, not in the
least fazed by his father's swift action, began thinking up ways to read the rest of
this vastly interesting book.
In the meantime, Mrs. van D. asked Mother for her opinion.
Mother didn't think this particular book was suitable for Margot, but she saw no
harm in letting her read most other books.
You see, Mrs. van Daan, Mother Said, there's a big difference between Margot
and Peter. To begin with, Margot's a girl, and girls are always more mature than
boys. Second, she's already read many serious books and doesn't go looking for
those which are no longer forbidden. Third, Margot's much more sensible and
intellectually advanced, as a result of her four years at an excellent school."
Mrs. van Daan agreed with her, but felt it was wrong as a matter of principle to
let youngsters read books written for adults.
Meanwhile, Peter had thought of a suitable time when no one would be
interested in either him or the book. At seven-thirty in the evening, when the
entire family was listening to the radio in the private office, he took his treasure
and stole off to the loft again. He should have been back by eight-thirty, but he
was so engrossed in the book that he forgot the time and was just coming down
the stairs when his father entered the room. The scene that followed was not
surprising: after a slap, a whack and a tug-of-war, the book lay on the table and
Peter was in the loft.
This is how matters stood when it was time for the family to eat. Peter stayed
upstairs. No one gave him a moment's thought; he'd have to go to bed without
his dinner. We continued eating, chatting merrily away, when suddenly we heard
a piercing whistle. We lay down our forks and stared at each other, the shock
clearly visible on our pale faces.
Then we heard Peter's voice through the chimney: "I won t come down!"
Mr. van Daan leapt up, his napkin falling to the floor, and shouted, with the
blood rushing to his face, "I've had enough!"
Father, afraid of what might happen, grabbed him by the arm and the two men
went to the attic. After much struggling and kicking, Peter wound up in his room
with the door shut, and we went on eating.
Mrs. van Daan wanted to save a piece of bread for her darling son, but Mr. van
D. was adamant. "If he doesn't apologize this minute, he'll have to sleep in the
loft."
We protested that going without dinner was enough punishment. What if Peter
were to catch cold? We wouldn't be able to call a doctor.
Peter didn't apologize, and returned to the loft.
Mr. van Daan decided to leave well enough alone, though he did note the next
morning that Peter's bed had been slept in.
At seven Peter went to the attic again, but was persuaded to come downstairs
when Father spoke a few friendly words to him. After three days of sullen looks
and stubborn silence, everything was back to normal.
Yours, Anne
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Today I'll tell you the general news here in the Annex. A lamp has been mounted
above my divan bed so that in the future, when I hear the guns going off, I'll be
able to pull a cord and switch on the light. I can't use it at the moment because
we're keeping our window open a little, day and night.
The male members of the van Daan contingent have built a very handy wood-
stained food safe, with real screens. Up to now this glorious cupboard has been
located in Peter's room, but in the interests of fresh air it's been moved to the
attic. Where it once stood, there's now a shelf. I advised Peter to put his table
underneath the shelf, add a nice rug and hang his own cupboard where the table
now stands. That might make his little cubbyhole more comfy, though I certainly
wouldn't like to sleep there.
Mrs. van Daan is unbearable. I'm continually being scolded for my incessant
chatter when I'm upstairs. I simply let the words bounce right off me! Madame
now has a new trick up her sleeve: trying to get out of washing the pots and
pans. If there's a bit of food left at the bottom of the pan, she leaves it to spoil
instead of transferring it to a glass dish. Then in the afternoon when Margot is
stuck with cleaning all the pots and pans, Madame exclaims, "Oh, poor Margot,
you have so much work to do!"
Every other week Mr. Kleiman brings me a couple of books written for girls my
age. I'm enthusiastic about the loop ter Heul series. I've enjoyed all of Cissy van
Marxveldt's books very much. I've read The Zaniest Summer four times, and the
ludicrous situations still make me laugh.
Father and I are currently working on our family tree, and he tells me something
about each person as we go along. I've begun my schoolwork. I'm working hard
at French, cramming five irregular verbs into my head every day. But I've
forgotten much too much of what I learned in school.
Peter has taken up his English with great reluctance. A few schoolbooks have
just arrived, and I brought a large supply of notebooks, pencils, erasers and
labels from home.
Pim (that's our pet name for Father) wants me to help him with his Dutch
lessons. I'm perfectly willing to tutor him in exchange for his assistance with
French and other subjects.
But he makes the most unbelievable mistakes!
I sometimes listen to the Dutch broadcasts from London.
Prince Bernhard recently announced that Princess juliana is expecting a baby in
January, which I think is wonderful. No one here understands why I take such an
interest in the Royal Family.
A few nights ago I was the topic of discussion, and we all decided I was an
ignoramus. As a result, I threw myself into my schoolwork the next day, since I
have little desire to still be a freshman when I'm fourteen or fifteen. The fact that
I'm hardly allowed to read anything was also discussed.
At the moment, Mother's reading Gentlemen, Wives and Servants, and of course
I'm not allowed to read it (though Margot is!). First I have to be more
intellectually developed, like my genius of a sister. Then we discussed my
ignorance of philosophy, psychology and physiology (I immediately looked up
these big words in the dictionary!).
It's true, I don't know anything about these subjects. But maybe I'll be smarter
next year!
I've come to the shocking conclusion that I have only one long-sleeved dress and
three cardigans to wear in the winter.
Father's given me permission to knit a white wool sweater; the yarn isn't very
pretty, but it'll be warm, and that's what counts. Some of our clothing was left
with friends, but unfortunately we won't be able to get to it until after the war.
Provided it's still there, of course.
I'd just finished writing something about Mrs. van Daan when she walked into
the room. Thump, I slammed the book shut.
"Hey, Anne, can't I even take a peek?"
"No, Mrs. van Daan."
"Just the last page then?"
"No, not even the last page, Mrs. van Daan."
Of course, I nearly died, since that particular page contained a rather unflattering
description of her.
There's something happening every day, but I'm too tired and lazy to write it all
down.
Yours, Anne
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Father has a friend, a man in his mid-seventies named Mr.
Dreher, who's sick, poor and deaf as a post. At his side, like a useless appendage,
is his wife, twenty-seven years younger and equally poor, whose arms and legs
are loaded with real and fake bracelets and rings left over from more prosperous
days. This Mr. Dreher has already been a great nuisance to Father, and I've
always admired the saintly patience with which he handled this pathetic old man
on the phone. When we were still living at home, Mother used to advise him to
put a gramophone in front of the receiver, one that would repeat every three
minutes, "Yes, Mr. Dreher" and
"No, Mr. Dreher," since the old man never understood a word of Father's lengthy
replies anyway.
Today Mr. Dreher phoned the office and asked Mr. Kugler to come and see him.
Mr. Kugler wasn't in the mood and said he would send Miep, but Miep canceled
the appointment. Mrs.
Dreher called the office three times, but since Miep was reportedly out the entire
afternoon, she had to imitate Bep's voice. Downstairs in the office as well as
upstairs in the Annex, there was great hilarity. Now each time the phone rings,
Bep says' 'That's Mrs. Dreher!" and Miep has to laugh, so that the people on the
other end of the line are greeted with an impolite giggle. Can't you just picture
it? This has got to be the greatest office in the whole wide world. The bosses and
the office girls have such fun together!
Some evenings I go to the van Daans for a little chat. We eat "mothball cookies"
(molasses cookies that were stored in a closet that was mothproofed) and have a
good time. Recently the conversation was about Peter. I said that he often pats
me on the cheek, which I don't like. They asked me in a typically grown-up way
whether I could ever learn to love Peter like a brother, since he loves me like a
sister. "Oh, no!" I said, but what I was thinking was, "Oh, ugh!" Just imagine! I
added that Peter's a bit stiff, perhaps because he's shy. Boys who aren't used to
being around girls are like that.
I must say that the Annex Committee (the men's section) is very creative. Listen
to the scheme they've come up with to get a message to Mr. Broks, an Opekta
Co. sales representative and friend who's surreptitiously hidden some of our
things for us! They're going to type a letter to a store owner in southern Zealand
who is, indirectly, one of Opekta' s customers and ask him to fill out a form and
send it back in the enclosed self-addressed envelope. Father will write the
address on the envelope himself. Once the letter is returned from Zealand, the
form can be removed and a handwritten message confirming that Father is alive
can be inserted in the envelope. This way Mr. Broks can read the letter without
suspecting a ruse. They chose the province of Zealand because it's close to
Belgium (a letter can easily be smuggled across the border) and because no one
is allowed to travel there without a special permit. An ordinary salesman like
Mr. Broks would never be granted a permit.
Yesterday Father put on another act. Groggy with sleep, he stumbled off to bed.
His feet were cold, so I lent him my bed socks. Five minutes later he flung them
to the floor. Then he pulled the blankets over his head because the light bothered
him. The lamp was switched off, and he gingerly poked his head out from under
the covers. It was all very amusing. We started talking about the fact that Peter
says Margot is a
"buttinsky." Suddenly Daddy's voice was heard from the depths: "Sits on her
butt, you mean.
Mouschi, the cat, is becoming nicer to me as time goes by, but I'm still
somewhat afraid of her.
Yours, Anne
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Mother and I had a so-called "discussion" today, but the annoying part is that I
burst into tears. I can't help it.
Daddy is always nice to me, and he also understands me much better. At
moments like these I can't stand Mother. It's obvious that I'm a stranger to her;
she doesn't even know what I think about the most ordinary things.
We were talking about maids and the fact that you're supposed to refer to them
as "domestic help" these days. She claimed that when the war is over, that's what
they'll want to be called. I didn't quite see it that way. Then she added that I talk
about' 'later" so often and that I act as if I were such a lady, even though I'm not,
but I don't think building sand castles in the air is such a terrible thing to do, as
long as you don't take it too seriously. At any rate, Daddy usually comes to my
defense. Without him I wouldn't be able to stick it out here.
I don't get along with Margot very well either. Even though our family never has
the same kind of outbursts they have upstairs, I find it far from pleasant.
Margot's and Mother's personalities are so alien to me. I understand my
girlfriends better than my own mother. Isn't that a shame?
For the umpteenth time, Mrs. van Daan is sulking. She's very moody and has
been removing more and more of her belongings and locking them up. It's too
bad Mother doesn't repay every van Daan "disappearing act" with a Frank
"disappearing act."
Some people, like the van Daans, seem to take special delight not only in raising
their own children but in helping others raise theirs. Margot doesn't need it, since
she's naturally good, kind and clever, perfection itself, but I seem to have enough
mischief for the two of us. More than once the air has been filled with the van
Daans' admonitions and my saucy replies. Father and Mother always defend me
fiercely. Without them I wouldn't be able to jump back into the fray with my
usual composure. They keep telling me I should talk less, mind my own business
and be more modest, but I seem doomed to failure. If Father weren't so patient,
I'd have long ago given up hope of ever meeting my parents'
quite moderate expectations.
If I take a small helping of a vegetable I loathe and eat potatoes instead, the van
Daans, especially Mrs. van Daan, can't get over how spoiled I am. "Come on,
Anne, eat some more vegetables," she says.
"No, thank you, ma'am," I reply. "The potatoes are more than enough."
"Vegetables are good for you; your mother says so too.
Have some more," she insists, until Father intervenes and upholds my right to
refuse a dish I don't like.
Then Mrs. van D. really flies off the handle: "You should have been at our
house, where children were brought up the way they should be. I don't call this a
proper upbringing.
Anne is terribly spoiled. I'd never allow that. If Anne were my daughter. . ."
This is always how her tirades begin and end: "If Anne were my daughter. . ."
Thank goodness I'm not.
But to get back to the subject of raising children, yesterday a silence fell after
Mrs. van D. finished her little speech. Father then replied, "I think Anne is very
well brought up. At least she's learned not to respond to your interminable
sermons. As far as the vegetables are concerned, all I have to say is look who's
calling the kettle black."
Mrs. van D. was soundly defeated. The pot calling the ketde black refers of
course to Madame herself, since she can't tolerate beans or any kind of cabbage
in the evening because they give her "gas." But I could say the same. What a
dope, don't you think? In any case, let's hope she stops talking about me.
It's so funny to see how quickly Mrs. van Daan flushes. I don't, and it secredy
annoys her no end.
Yours, Anne
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28,1942
Dearest Kitty,
I had to stop yesterday, though I was nowhere near finished. I'm dying to tell you
about another one of our clashes, but before I do I'd like to say this: I think it's
odd that grown-ups quarrel so easily and so often and about such petty matters.
Up to now I always thought bickering was just something children did and that
they outgrew it. Often, of course, there's sometimes a reason to have a real
quarrel, but the verbal exchanges that take place here are just plain bickering. I
should be used to the fact that these squabbles are daily occurrences, but I'm not
and never will be as long as I'm the subject of nearly every discussion. (They
refer to these as "discussions" instead of "quarrels," but Germans don't know the
difference!) They criticize everything, and I mean everything, about me: my
behavior, my personality, my manners; every inch of me, from head to toe and
back again, is the subject of gossip and debate. Harsh words and shouts are
constantly being flung at my head, though I'm absolutely not used to it.
According to the powers that be, I'm supposed to grin and bear it. But I can't! I
have no intention of taking their insults lying down. I'll show them that Anne
Frank wasn't born yesterday. They'll sit up and take notice and keep their big
mouths shut when I make them see they ought to attend to their own manners
instead of mine. How dare they act that way! It's simply barbaric. I've been
astonished, time and again, at such rudeness and most of all.
. . at such stupidity (Mrs. van Daan). But as soon as I've gotten used to the idea,
and that shouldn't take long, I'll give them a taste of their own medicine, and
then they'll change their tune! Am I really as bad-mannered, headstrong,
stubborn, pushy, stupid, lazy, etc., etc., as the van Daans say I am? No, of course
not. I know I have my faults and shortcomings, but they blow them all out of
proportion! If you only knew, Kitty, how I seethe when they scold and mock me.
It won't take long before I explode with pent-up rage.
But enough of that. I've bored you long enough with my quarrels, and yet I can't
resist adding a highly interesting dinner conversation.
Somehow we landed on the subject of Pim's extreme diffidence. His modesty is
a well-known fact, which even the stupidest person wouldn't dream of
questioning. All of a sudden Mrs. van Daan, who feels the need to bring herself
into every conversation, remarked, "I'm very modest and retiring too, much more
so than my husband!"
Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? This sentence clearly illustrates that
she's not exactly what you'd call modest!
Mr. van Daan, who felt obliged to explain the "much more so than my husband,"
answered calmly, "I have no desire to be modest and retiring. In my experience,
you get a lot further by being pushy!" And turning to me, he added, "Don't be
modest and retiring, Anne. It will get you nowhere."
Mother agreed completely with this viewpoint. But, as usual, Mrs. van Daan had
to add her two cents. This time, however, instead of addressing me directly, she
turned to my parents and said, "You must have a strange outlook on life to be
able to say that to Anne. Things were different when I was growing up. Though
they probably haven't changed much since then, except in your modern
household!"
This was a direct hit at Mother's modern child-rearing methods, which she's
defended on many occasions. Mrs. van Daan was so upset her face turned bright
red. People who flush easily become even more agitated when they feel
themselves getting hot under the collar, and they quickly lose to their opponents.
The nonflushed mother, who now wanted to have the matter over and done with
as quickly as possible, paused for a moment to think before she replied. "Well,
Mrs. van Daan, I agree that it's much better if a person isn't overmodest. My
husband, Margot and Peter are all exceptionally modest. Your husband, Anne
and I, though not exactly the opposite, don't let ourselves be pushed around."
Mrs. van Daan: "Oh, but Mrs. Frank, I don't understand what you mean!
Honestly, I'm extremely modest and retiring.
How can you say that I'm pushy?"
Mother: "I didn't say you were pushy, but no one would describe you as having a
retiring disposition."
Mrs. van D.: "I'd like to know in what way I'm pushy! If I didn't look out for
myself here, no one else would, and I'd soon starve, but that doesn't mean I'm not
as modest and retiring as your husband."
Mother had no choice but to laugh at this ridiculous self-defense, which irritated
Mrs. van Daan. Not exactly a born debater, she continued her magnificent
account in a mixture of German and Dutch, until she got so tangled up in her
own words that she finally rose from her chair and was just about to leave the
room when her eye fell on me. You should have seen her! As luck would have it,
the moment Mrs.
van D. turned around I was shaking my head in a combination of compassion
and irony. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but I'd followed her tirade so intently that
my reaction was completely involuntary. Mrs. van D. wheeled around and gave
me a tongue-lashing: hard, Germanic, mean and vulgar, exactly like some fat,
red-faced fishwife. It was a joy to behold. If I could draw, I'd like to have
sketched her as she was then.
She struck me as so comical, that silly little scatterbrain!
I've learned one thing: you only really get to know a person after a fight. Only
then can you judge their true character!
Yours, Anne
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
The strangest things happen to you when you're in hiding!
Try to picture this. Because we don't have a bathtub, we wash ourselves in a
washtub, and because there's only hot water in the office (by which I mean the
entire lower floor), the seven of us take turns making the most of this great
opportunity. But since none of us are alike and are all plagued by varying
degrees of modesty, each member of the family has selected a different place to
wash. Peter takes a bath in the office kitchen, even though it has a glass door.
When it's time for his bath, he goes around to each of us in turn and announces
that we shouldn't walk past the kitchen for the next half hour. He considers this
measure to be sufficient. Mr. van D. takes his bath upstairs, figuring that the
safety of his own room outweighs the difficulty of having to carry the hot water
up all those stairs. Mrs. van D. has yet to take a bath; she's waiting to see which
is the best place. Father bathes in the private office and Mother in the kitchen
behind a fire screen, while Margot and I have declared the front office to be our
bathing grounds. Since the curtains are drawn on Saturday afternoon, we scrub
ourselves in the dark, while the one who isn't in the bath looks out the window
through a chink in the curtains and gazes in wonder at the endlessly amusing
people.
A week ago I decided I didn't like this spot and have been on the lookout for
more comfortable bathing quarters. It was Peter who gave me the idea of setting
my washtub in the spacious office bathroom. I can sit down, turn on the light,
lock the door, pour out the water without anyone's help, and all without the fear
of being seen. I used my lovely bathroom for the first time on Sunday and,
strange as it may seem, I like it better than any other place.
The plumber was at work downstairs on Wednesday, moving the water pipes
and drains from the office bathroom to the hallway so the pipes won't freeze
during a cold winter. The plumber's visit was far from pleasant. Not only were
we not allowed to run water during the day, but the bathroom was also off-limits.
I'll tell you how we handled this problem; you may find it unseemly of me to
bring it up, but I'm not so prudish about matters of this kind. On the day of our
arrival, Father and I improvised a chamber pot, sacrificing a canning jar for this
purpose. For the duration of the plumber's visit, canning jars were put into
service during the daytime to hold our calls of nature. As far as I was concerned,
this wasn't half as difficult as having to sit still all day and not say a word. You
can imagine how hard that was for Miss Quack, Quack, Quack. On ordinary
days we have to speak in a whisper; not being able to talk or move at all is ten
times worse.
After three days of constant sitting, my backside was stiff and sore. Nightly
calisthenics helped.
Yours, Anne
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1942
Dear Kitty,
Yesterday I had a horrible fright. At eight o'clock the doorbell suddenly rang. All
I could think of was that someone was coming to get us, you know who I mean.
But I calmed down when everybody swore it must have been either pranksters or
the mailman.
The days here are very quiet. Mr. Levinsohn, a little Jewish pharmacist and
chemist, is working for Mr. Kugler in the kitchen. Since he's familiar with the
entire building, we're in constant dread that he'll take it into his head to go have a
look at what used to be the laboratory. We're as still as baby mice. Who would
have guessed three months ago that quicksilver Anne would have to sit so
quietly for hours on end, and what's more, that she could?
Mrs. van Daan's birthday was the twenty-ninth. Though we didn't have a large
celebration, she was showered with flowers, simple gifts and good food.
Apparently the red carnations from her spouse are a family tradition.
Let me pause a moment on the subject of Mrs. van Daan and tell you that her
attempts to flirt with Father are a constant source of irritation to me. She pats
him on the cheek and head, hikes up her skirt and makes so-called witty remarks
in an effort to get's Pim's attention. Fortunately, he finds her neither pretty nor
charming, so he doesn't respond to her flirtations. As you know, I'm quite the
jealous type, and I can't abide her behavior. After all, Mother doesn't act that
way toward Mr. van D., which is what I told Mrs. van D. right to her face.
From time to time Peter can be very amusing. He and I have one thing in
common: we like to dress up, which makes everyone laugh. One evening we
made our appearance, with Peter in one of his mother's skin-tight dresses and me
in his suit. He wore a hat; I had a cap on. The grown-ups split their sides
laughing, and we enjoyed ourselves every bit as much.
Bep bought new skirts for Margot and me at The Bijenkorf.
The fabric is hideous, like the burlap bag potatoes come in.
Just the kind of thing the department stores wouldn't dare sell in the olden days,
now costing 24.00 guilders (Margot's) and 7.75 guilders (mine).
We have a nice treat in store: Bep's ordered a correspondence course in
shorthand for Margot, Peter and me.
Just you wait, by this time next year we'll be able to take perfect shorthand. In
any case, learning to write a secret code like that is really interesting.
I have a terrible pain in my index finger (on my left hand), so I can't do any
ironing. What luck!
Mr. van Daan wants me to sit next to him at the table, since Margot doesn't eat
enough to suit him. Fine with me, I like changes. There's always a tiny black cat
roaming around the yard, and it reminds me of my dear sweet Moortje. Another
reason I welcome the change is that Mama's always carping at me, especially at
the table. Now Margot will have to bear the brunt of it. Or rather, won't, since
Mother doesn't make such sarcastic remarks to her. Not to that paragon of virtue!
I'm always teasing Margot about being a paragon of virtue these days, and she
hates it. Maybe it'll teach her not to be such a goody-goody. High time she
learned.
To end this hodgepodge of news, a particularly amusing joke told by Mr. van
Daan: What goes click ninety-nine times and clack once?
A centipede with a clubfoot.
Bye-bye, Anne
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1942
Dear Kitty,
Everybody teased me quite a bit yesterday because I lay down on the bed next to
Mr. van Daan. "At your age! Shocking!
" and other remarks along those lines. Silly, of course. I'd never want to sleep
with Mr. van Daan the way they mean.
Yesterday Mother and I had another run-in and she really kicked up a fuss. She
told Daddy all my sins and I started to cry, which made me cry too, and I already
had such an awful headache. I finally told Daddy that I love "him" more than I
do Mother, to which he replied that it was just a passing phase, but I don't think
so. I simply can't stand Mother, and I have to force myself not to snap at her all
the time, and to stay calm, when I'd rather slap her across the face. I don't know
why I've taken such a terrible dislike to her.
Daddy says that if Mother isn't feeling well or has a headache, I should volunteer
to help her, but I'm not going to because I don't love her and don't enjoy doing it.
I can imagine Mother dying someday, but Daddy's death seems inconceivable.
It's very mean of me, but that's how I feel. I hope Mother will never read this or
anything else I've written.
I've been allowed to read more grown-up books lately.
Eva's Youth by Nico van Suchtelen is currently keeping me busy. I don't think
there's much of a difference between this and books for teenage girls. Eva
thought that children grew on trees, like apples, and that the stork plucked them
off the tree when they were ripe and brought them to the mothers.
But her girlfriend's cat had kittens and Eva saw them coming out of the cat, so
she thought cats laid eggs and hatched them like chickens, and that mothers who
wanted a child also went upstairs a few days before their time to lay an egg and
brood on it. After the babies arrived, the mothers were pretty weak from all that
squatting. At some point, Eva wanted a baby too. She took a wool scarf and
spread it on the ground so the egg could fall into it, and then she squatted down
and began to push. She clucked as she waited, but no egg came out. Finally, after
she'd been sitting for a long time, something did come, but it was a sausage
instead of an egg.
Eva was embarrassed. She thought she was sick. Funny, isn't it? There are also
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