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15
PErsonal Gr owth
“Beauty”
Anonymous
Yale University
pEopLE SAY ThAT INNEr BEAUTY mATTErS
more than outer beau-
ty. But when I looked into the mirror and saw my face covered with
unsightly blemishes, it was hard to tell myself that and believe it. By
the time I entered high school, my acne had gotten worse, and my
self-esteem was at an all-time low. So in the summer of ninth grade, I
embarked on an unexpectedly difficult and emotionally trying quest
for clear skin, an experience that culminated in one of my proudest
achievements.
My typical daily diet consisted of sugary cereal for breakfast; salty
turkey sandwiches, soda, and chips for lunch; a candy bar for snack;
and rice and fried noodles for dinner. I never thought that my diet
would be a cause of my acne, but the possibility first came to me when
I was reading a skincare article. Desperate for a cure, I searched “clear
skin diet” on the Internet. The websites that turned up all echoed the
same message: a balanced and healthy diet is crucial for beautiful skin.
The recommended foods listed included large portions of fruits, veg-
138
50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays
etables, grains, nuts, and fish; 8 glasses of water daily and only small
amounts of high-sodium, high-fat, and high-sugar foods. I researched
further and found out that the expensive chemical cleansers that I
had been using were not the answer—gentle face washes and a coat
of sunblock were inexpensive products that could reduce breakouts. I
knew that changing my entire diet and skincare routine would require
a tremendous amount of commitment and willpower. But determined
to improve my skin and my self-confidence, I began to transform my
lifestyle. I started by incorporating fruits and vegetables into my meals
and replacing sugary cereal with whole grains, chips with carrots, and
fried noodles with salmon. For a long, painful week, I stuck to this diet
and restrained myself from any junk food. My skin condition changed
gradually but substantially. By the end of the week, my skin was no-
ticeably smoother, clearer, and brighter. Yet I found myself relapsing,
unable to continue for long without indulging myself, unable to swal-
low the horribly plain salads and chewy carrots. Every time I stopped,
the acne came back. It came to the point where I despised the acne and
coveted the clear skin enough to force myself back on track. It became
an excruciating pattern of cravings and self-restraint. I struggled with
these two impulses until I became used to healthy eating, even enjoy-
ing it. now, two years later, my skin is better than ever and I have never
gone back to eating the way I had before.
I have no awards or medals to show for my particular achievement.
But no academic distinction in the world can match what I gained from
my experience with changing my diet: healthier skin, self-confidence,
and newfound mental strength. Above all, I realized that by improving
my outer appearance, I had enriched my inner appearance.
AnAlysis
“Beauty” provides an intimate portrayal of the author’s struggle
against acne. Most admissions essays tend to focus on resume-worthy
activities. As the author admits, “I have no awards or medals to show
for my particular achievement.” But this essay shows that accomplish-
ments in one’s personal life can also be just as successful as essays
focused on more prominent or recognizable activities. Other essays in
this book also use personal topics not obviously related to academics
or typical extracurriculars to give us a stronger sense of the author’s
personality, such as Alex’s “Box of Chocolates” (Chapter 9).
139
Chapter 15: Personal Growth
This essay stands out for its candor about the author’s feelings of
low self-esteem when she saw the “unsightly blemishes” she faced
each time that she looked in the mirror. The exacting details of the
essay help show us the ups and downs in the author’s “unexpectedly
difficult and emotionally trying quest for clear skin.” After sharing the
results of her extensive research, the author concludes, “I knew that
changing my entire diet and skincare routine would require a tremen-
dous amount of commitment and willpower.” The essay then goes on to
show the waxing and waning of the strength of this commitment. Like
other essays that share about weaknesses and strengths, this account
humanizes the experience, allowing us as readers to relate to the pro-
cess. For instance, we can admire the author for her restraint during “a
long, painful week” of a completely different diet. Anyone who has ever
failed to keep a New Year’s Resolution or other lifestyle transforma-
tion vow can sympathize with the statement, “I found myself relapsing,
unable to continue for long without indulging myself.” The author’s un-
savory descriptions of “horribly plain salads and chewy carrots” add a
humorous touch of detail to the essay while also underscoring the dif-
ficulty the author experienced in changing her diet. Rather than pres-
ent an easy problem-solution setup, the author frankly shows us the
cyclical nature of this journey by sharing such statements as this one:
“It became an excruciating pattern of cravings and self-restraint.” This
essay shows that essays need not describe rapid changes and eureka
moments; stories about gradual transformations and processes with
many setbacks or retrogressions can also be quite compelling. In the
case of this author, she struggled with cravings and self-restraint until
she “became used to healthy eating, even enjoying it.”
The conclusion nicely sums up the key lessons found in this essay.
Besides the obvious benefit of healthy skin, the author also gained
“self-confidence, and newfound mental strength.” The reference to
the classic expression about inner and outer beauty helps introduce
and conclude the essay. This creates a nice wrapped-up effect. The
author’s changing attitudes towards the belief that “inner beauty mat-
ters more than outer beauty” shows her transformation. At first, she
doubted both her outer and inner beauty; but after her two years of
determined lifestyle modification, she found her inner life enriched by
her improved outer appearance.
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