Michael was too valuable a creative force to lose, yet his management skills needed improvement, and
quickly.
Michael had been told that cooperation with my suggestions was mandatory. But Michael insisted to me
that he was too busy either to conduct the reviews or to devote time to telling me about his objections to
them. Michael’s position was defensible—his schedule was crushing—but it wasn’t completely accurate.
I suspected that if he enjoyed the reviews, he’d make time for them. But Michael was a fairly
uncommunicative person. He found confrontation with problem employees distasteful, and he couldn’t see
the reason for “wasting” time reviewing employees whose work was excellent.
His was the school of
thought that says
no one deserves a compliment just for doing the job right.
So reviews stayed at the
bottom of his to-do list. I had to find a way to help Michael change his attitude toward confrontation and
discussion, and I had to do it in a way that this chronically overcommitted person would accept.
I struck a bargain with him. “My goal is to get you to the point where you enjoy annual evaluations,” I
said. “I think I can do this if you give me thirty seconds a day for the next three months. If it doesn’t work,
you can tell human resources that you followed all my suggestions and fulfilled your obligation.” My
request was so small that it was impossible for Michael to refuse.
For the first month, Michael was to spend thirty seconds each day performing mind sculpture. I asked
him to imagine giving a person from his department a specific, detailed compliment in an enthusiastic tone
of voice, as if there were no problems at all with this person’s work. He was to imagine how he would
stand in front of the person, how it would feel to approach the person with a relaxed, open posture, how
his voice would sound, and what any ambient sounds or smells might be.
I wanted Michael to start with compliments for a couple of reasons. Like most people, Michael found it
easier to give compliments than criticism. But I also knew that a likely result
of letting trouble in his
department percolate for too long was that Michael would see his employees as nothing but a collection
of problems. And from another perspective, psychological research clearly shows that people who feel
underappreciated tend to resent criticism and ignore the advice they’re given. By practicing mind
sculpture for giving compliments, Michael was not only learning to feel comfortable doing something that
felt unnatural to him; He was also developing a skill that would increase the satisfaction and productivity
of his employees.
I asked Michael if he’d mind extending this exercise to his family. I suspected that his silence extended
to his home life and that his loved ones would appreciate a little kaizen sent their way. I asked him to
spend some of his thirty-second periods imagining giving specific compliments to his wife or one of his
three children. The next month I asked Michael if he could continue to imagine one compliment but to add
one critical comment as well. He was to imagine himself with a specific employee, feeling his own facial
muscles moving and his body posture remaining open as he delivered these messages in a kind, matter-of-
fact tone of voice. I also asked him to actually give one compliment out loud to someone at home every
day.
Two
weeks into the second month, my phone rang. “My wife and kids are asking what’s wrong with
me!” Michael said, clearly pleased with himself. His family had returned his compliments with such love
and warmth that mind sculpture and kaizen now had real credibility with him.
“Now,” I suggested, “how about calling me once a day and leaving
your one compliment and one
criticism for an employee on my voice mail?” He could practice his tone of voice that way, and I’d return
the call with feedback about the specificity of the comments and whether his tone had reached the level of
neutrality he sought.
Mind sculpture—plus the small, active steps that mental rehearsal enabled him to take—taught Michael
a new set of skills. It also gave him a taste for the ease and the rewards of applying them. At the end of
our three months together, he conducted the belated reviews without any prompting
and
he found himself
stopping in the hallways to give fifteen or twenty seconds of immediate feedback. For several years, I
received an annual holiday card from Michael. His family had never been better, the card always said,
and department morale was high.
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