Mindset : The New Psychology of Success pdfdrive com

SENDING MESSAGES ABOUT PROCESS AND GROWTH
So what’s the alternative to praising talent or intelligence? David’s reassurance
gives us a hint. One of my students tells us more:
I  went  home  this  weekend  to  find  my  12-year-old  sister  ecstatic
about school. I asked what she was so excited about and she said, “I
got  102  on  my  social  studies  test!”  I  heard  her  repeat  this  phrase
about five more times that weekend. At that point I decided to apply
what  we  learned  in  class  to  this  real-life  situation.  Rather  than
praising  her  intelligence  or  her  grade,  I  asked  questions  that  made
her  reflect  on  the  effort  she  put  into  studying  and  on  how  she  has

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improved from the year before. Last year, her grades dropped lower
and lower as the year progressed so I thought it was important for
me to intervene and steer her in the right direction at the beginning
of this year.
Does  this  mean  we  can’t  praise  our  children  enthusiastically  when  they  do
something  great?  Should  we  try  to  restrain  our  admiration  for  their  successes?
Not at all. It just means that we should keep away from a certain kind of praise—
praise  that  judges  their  intelligence  or  talent.  Or  praise  that  implies  that  we’re
proud of them for their intelligence or talent rather than for the work they put in.
We can appreciate them as much as we want for the growth-oriented process
—what  they  accomplished  through  practice,  study,  persistence,  and  good
strategies. And we can ask them about their work in a way that recognizes and
shows interest in their efforts and choices.
“You  really  studied  for  your  test  and  your  improvement  shows  it.  You  read
the material over several times, you outlined it, and you tested yourself on it. It
really worked!”
“I like the way you tried all kinds of strategies on that math problem until you
finally got it. You thought of a lot of different ways to do it and found the one
that worked!”
“I like that you took on that challenging project for your science class. It will
take  a  lot  of  work—doing  the  research,  designing  the  apparatus,  buying  the