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The Journey: Step 4
You’re  in  touch  with  your  triggers  and  you’re  excruciatingly  aware  of  your
fixed-mindset  persona  and  what  it  does  to  you.  It  has  a  name.  What  happens
now? Educate it. Take it on the journey with you.
The more you become aware of your fixed-mindset triggers, the more you can
be  on  the  lookout  for  the  arrival  of  your  persona.  If  you’re  on  the  verge  of
stepping  out  of  your  comfort  zone,  be  ready  to  greet  it  when  it  shows  up  and
warns you to stop. Thank it for its input, but then tell it why you want to take this
step and  ask  it to  come  along with  you:  “Look, I  know  this may  not  work  out,
but I’d really like to take a stab at it. Can I count on you to bear with me?”
When you hit a setback, the chances are excellent it’s going to show up again.


Don’t suppress it or ban it. Just let it do its thing. Let it do its song and dance,
and  when  it  settles  down  a  bit,  talk  to  it  about  how  you  plan  to  learn  from  the
setback and go forward: “Yes, yes, it’s possible that I’m not so good at this (yet),
but I think I have an idea of what to do next. Let’s just try it.”
When  you’re  under  pressure  and  you’re  afraid  your  team  will  let  you  down,
tell them that Duane is in full bloom and ask them what they need from you to
do  their  best  work.  Try  to  understand  and  respect  where  they  are  and  what
they’re thinking, and try to support and guide them. Keep talking to Duane so he
can calm down—and then help you cut them some slack and contribute to team
process.
Remember that your fixed-mindset persona was born to protect you and keep
you safe. But it has developed some very limiting ways of doing that. So educate
it  in  the  new  growth  mindset  ways  that  it  can  support  you:  in  taking  on
challenges  and  sticking  to  them,  bouncing  back  from  failure,  and  helping  and
supporting  others  to  grow.  Understand  the  persona’s  point  of  view,  but  slowly
teach  it  a  different  way  of  thinking,  and  take  it  with  you  on  your  journey  to  a
growth mindset.
Understanding  that  everyone  has  a  fixed-mindset  persona  can  give  us  more
compassion for people. It allows us to understand their struggles. I mentioned in
a previous chapter how upset I was to learn that some educators were scolding
children for acting in fixed-mindset ways. They would point to the mindset chart
in the front of the room and tell the kids to shape up.
Compare this to the following teacher. Over a period of time, this teacher had
her grade school class talk about their fixed-mindset triggers and then give their
personas a name. One boy wouldn’t do it, which was very much in line with a lot
of his behavior. There were many things he wouldn’t do no matter how much the
teacher  gently  encouraged  him.  For  weeks  he  sat  there  mute  while  every  other
student  in  the  class  talked  about  and  drew  pictures  of  their  little  fixed-mindset
personas—Scared  Sally,  Lazy  Larry,  Anxious  Andy,  or  Helpless  Hannah.  But
the teacher let him know that she was there for him whenever he was ready, and
one day, out of nowhere, he said, “Dumping Dan.” “What?” the teacher asked.
“Dumping Dan,” he repeated. “Whenever I do something, I do it wrong. I can’t
do anything right. That’s why everyone dumps on me.” Whenever he tried to do
his schoolwork, it seemed that Dumping Dan would yell at him so loudly that he
couldn’t  proceed.  The  teacher  rushed  to  his  side  and  worked  with  him  and
Dumping  Dan  so  that  eventually  Dan  relented,  gave  him  some  peace,  and


allowed him to work. After that, his growth was tremendous.
How  many  students  or  employees  are  considered  incompetent,  stubborn,  or
defiant  when  they  just  don’t  know  how  to  function  well  under  the  current
conditions?  How  often  do  we  threaten,  punish,  or  write  off  these  people  rather
than  helping  them  work  it  through  or  helping  them  find  the  conditions  under
which they can thrive?

Every one of us has a journey to take.
• It starts by accepting that we all have both mindsets.
• Then we learn to recognize what triggers our fixed mindset. Failures?
Criticism? Deadlines? Disagreements?
• And we come to understand what happens to us when our fixed-mindset
“persona” is triggered. Who is this persona? What’s its name? What does it
make us think, feel, and do? How does it affect those around us?
• Importantly, we can gradually learn to remain in a growth-mindset place
despite the triggers, as we educate our persona and invite it to join us on
our growth-mindset journey.
• Ideally, we will learn more and more about how we can help others on
their journey, too.
LEARN AND HELP LEARN
Let’s say you’ve named and tamed your fixed-mindset persona. That’s great, but
please  don’t  think  your  journey  is  complete.  For  your  growth  mindset  to  bear
fruit, you need to keep setting goals—goals for growth. Every day presents you
with  ways  to  grow  and  to  help  the  people  you  care  about  grow.  How  can  you
remember to look for these chances?
First,  make  a  copy  of  this  graphic  summary  of  the  two  mindsets,  which  was
created  by  the  wonderful  Nigel  Holmes,  and  tape  it  to  your  mirror.  Each
morning,  use  it  to  remind  yourself  of  the  differences  between  the  fixed  and
growth  mindsets.  Then,  as  you  contemplate  the  day  in  front  of  you,  try  to  ask
yourself these questions. If you have room on your mirror, copy them over and


tape them there, too.
DIAGRAM BY NIGEL HOLMES


What  are  the  opportunities  for  learning  and  growth  today?  For
myself? For the people around me?
As you think of opportunities, form a plan, and ask:
When, where, and how will I embark on my plan?
When, where, and how make the plan concrete. How asks you to think of all the
ways to bring your plan to life and make it work.
As you encounter the inevitable obstacles and setbacks, form a new plan and
ask yourself the question again:
When, where, and how will I act on my new plan?
Regardless of how bad you may feel, chat with your fixed-mindset persona and
then do it!
And when you succeed, don’t forget to ask yourself:
What do I have to do to maintain and continue the growth?
Remember,  as  Alex  Rodriguez,  the  baseball  player,  wisely  said:  “You  either
go one way or the other.” You might as well be the one deciding the direction.
THE ROAD AHEAD
Change can be tough, but I’ve never heard anyone say it wasn’t worth it. Maybe
they’re  just  rationalizing,  the  way  people  who’ve  gone  through  a  painful
initiation say it was worth it. But people who’ve changed can tell you how their
lives  have  been  enhanced.  They  can  tell  you  about  things  they  have  now  that
they wouldn’t have had, and ways they feel now that they wouldn’t have felt.
Did  changing  toward  a  growth  mindset  solve  all  my  problems?  No.  But  I
know that I have a different life because of it—a richer one. And that I’m a more
alive, courageous, and open person because of it.
It’s for you to decide whether change is right for you now. Maybe it is, maybe


it isn’t. But either way, keep the growth mindset in your thoughts. Then, when
you bump up against obstacles, you can turn to it. It will always be there for you,
showing you a path into the future.



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