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How to Talk to Anyone 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Leil Lowndes) (z-lib.org)

Technique #85
Chanc e Encount ers Are for Chitchat
If you’re selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive
communication with someone, do NOT capitalize on a
chance meeting. Keep the melody of your mistaken
meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into
your swan song with Big Winner.
09 (293-342B) part nine 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 318


Once night, several years ago on a New York City street, I caught
a man trying to break into a car. I shouted for him to stop. Instead
of being content escaping, the burly would-be burglar decided to
retaliate. As he raced past me, he shoved me down onto the
cement and I cracked my skull against the curb.
Dizzily, I wobbled into the emergency room of a nearby hos-
pital. Holding an ice pack against my throbbing head, I was grilled
by the emergency room triage nurse on my address, telephone, and
social security numbers, insurance carrier, policy number, ad nau-
seam. It’s as if she had said,”The heck with your cracked skull. You
can tell me about that later. What’s your insurance number?”
Don’t bother me with that minutiae! All I wanted to do was
tell somebody, anybody, what happened to me. It wasn’t until the
very end of her ruthless and sadistic interrogation that she asked,
“So what happened?”
I later told my sad story to a friend, Sue, a nurse who works
in admitting in another emergency room. She said, “I know. I can’t
believe they print the forms that way. Injured people don’t get to
tell what happened to them until the last line of the form. Sue said
getting crucial numerical details from people suffering in the ER
with broken bones and burns was a real challenge. Until, she said,
319
How to Prepare Them
to Listen to You

86
09 (293-342B) part nine 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 319
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.


she switched her questioning around. She’d first ask them what
happened. They’d tell her all about it. She’d listen sympathetically.
“Then,” she said, “they were only too happy to give me the infor-
mation I needed.”
Good bosses understand this human need to talk. Robert, a
colleague of mine who owns a small manufacturing firm, says
whenever one of his employees complains about a problem, he
never holds the griper’s feet to the fire for facts first. He hears the
employee out completely. He lets him carry on about the cantan-
kerous customer, the uncooperative coworker. “Then, after he’s
gotten it off his chest,” Robert says, “I get the facts a lot more
clearly.”

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