Living abroad

Fear of commitment: it is almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy when I step back to realize that having moved a lot from a young age plays into the way I sometimes approach social interactions. Perhaps it is out of self-defense that I have been conditioned to question the ingredients to a successful relationship, because nothing seems worse than having to say goodbye to a dear friend.

• Fear of commitment: it is almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy when I step back to realize that having moved a lot from a young age plays into the way I sometimes approach social interactions. Perhaps it is out of self-defense that I have been conditioned to question the ingredients to a successful relationship, because nothing seems worse than having to say goodbye to a dear friend.
• Dilemma of personal identity: It seems I have been heavily influenced by a combination of experiences and people, and it is hard to describe who I am in just a few words. I fall back on a variety of values and beliefs depending on the circumstances. I am unique not only because there are many faces to who I am, but also because I seem to be constantly changing the perceptions I have of myself relative to others. I find this has been a tiring, never-ending emotional process.
• Unhappiness with the status quo: much like it is hard to call any one place home after having grown up overseas, I find myself constantly looking for change. Lately, I have found it to be therapeutic to redecorate since we have made a commitment to stay in our current home indefinitely. This drive may create conflict or confusion for people around me who thrive on absolutes and consistency (like my husband).
• Loss of time: moving long distances can be time consuming in more than one way. Due to the discrepancy of school calendars and academic assessment tools from one country to another, I was asked to repeat half of 9th grade after moving to the US. In the end, the English language was the only (temporary) barrier as the rest of the subjects were a breeze. The effects of being older than most everyone in my class remain debatable.

Thanks for attention