In memory of Nicole Lewanski



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Sad Girls by Leav Lang (z-lib.org).epub

that
.”
“I wasn’t implying anything,” she said, even though it was obvious she was.
“But I will say he’s a sweet kid. 
And
,” she smirked, “quite easy on the eyes too.”
“Really? I didn’t notice,” I lied.
She rolled her eyes. “Of course you didn’t.”
“So how do you know him, anyway?”
“I know his uncle Daryl. He runs the local auto repair shop.”
“Gabe mentioned he works there. He was also telling me about his plans—he
wants to sail around the world one day. It’s a pipe dream for most people, isn’t it?
But Gabe has figured out how to get there, step by step. I mean, it’s impressive.”
“I’m telling you now: that kid is going places. Don’t let those good looks fool
you. He scored off the charts on his SATs, and they offered him a scholarship to
Stanford.”
“Wow. Why didn’t he take it?”
“I’ll leave it up to him to tell you.”
“Do you think I should take the lessons? I don’t want to be a bother. I mean,
he seems like a pretty busy guy.”
“If he’s offering, then yes—why not? I’m sure the two of you would get along
like nobody’s business. Plus, imagine how great it would be if you got your
license. No more trudging through the snow.”
I brightened at the thought. “Yeah, I spoke to Graham about it, and he says his
insurance will cover me. So I’m free to use his car if I do get my license.”
“That’s great, honey. I definitely think you should go for it, then. It would
make your life a heck of a lot easier.”
O
N
MY
FIRST
driving lesson, Gabe picked me up in his battered station wagon,
and we practiced around the back streets.


At first, it was terrifying. It felt as if the car was going way too fast and the tires
were made of glass and couldn’t possibly keep us pinned to the road.
“Easy on the brake—you’re doing okay,” said Gabe, after I jammed my foot
down sharply on the brake for the hundredth time.
“Shit—okay.” I took a deep breath.
“It’s a bit freaky the first time you get behind the wheel, so don’t worry. You’ll
get the hang of it soon.”
He was right. After a while, I managed to avoid doing the stop-start thing and
drove down the entire length of the street.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe I’m actually driving!”
“See? Nothing to it—just takes a bit of getting used to; that’s all,” said Gabe.
His face broke into his trademark good-natured grin. “Now signal for the turn up
ahead.”
I continued to drive at a crawl, pulling over each time a car came up behind
me. I got used to signaling and making turns. It was actually not that different
from playing a video game.
“So how come you’ve never gone for your license, back home?” Gabe asked.
“I’m not sure,” I frowned. “I suppose I didn’t have a big enough incentive. I
moved out of home after I left school, and my work was in walking distance.” I
didn’t want to tell him it was mainly because of my anxiety issue.
“And I’m sure it doesn’t snow where you were.”
“No, the weather in Australia is pretty tame compared to here.”
“How was the test?”
“It was easy. I mean, a memory game more than anything, and a lot of it was
common sense.” I had gone for the written test a few days ago and left the office
proudly with my learner’s permit in hand. It felt oddly liberating. I wanted to call
Rad and share the good news, but something told me to stay strong. I had come
this far on my own. I had to see how much further I could go.
I signaled for a turn up ahead. “You know what the weird thing is? If I hadn’t
stopped at your cart that day, I probably wouldn’t have done this. And I’m so
glad I did.”
“Me too. You know that movie 
The Matrix—
the scene where Morpheus
shows Neo how he can download all these different skills?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I think life is kind of like that. You are a toolbox, and you have to add stuff to
it and build on it. I think the more tools you have, the better life gets.”
“I like that idea.”


“That’s my mission in life. To keep adding to the toolbox.”
“You know what? I think I’m going to do the same.”

FEW
DAYS
later, Gabe called to tell me he had something special planned for us
the following day.
“You’ll have to get up before dawn, though. Do you think you can manage
that?”
I groaned inwardly. I was not a morning person.
“Sure, I can do that. I might need a wake-up call, though.”
He laughed. “Okay, noted.”
N
EXT
MORNING

TRUE
to his word, my phone went off at five, interrupting a deep
and peaceful sleep. Against my better judgment, I had stayed up late the night
before working on an idea for a new story. I was so engrossed in it that I lost
track of the time. Reluctantly, I reached toward the nightstand and fumbled in
the dark for my phone.
“Hey,” I said, groggily.
“Good morning.” Gabe’s baritone cut through the chilly air.
“I’m going back to sleep. It’s too cold to go out.”
“No, you’re not. Put on some warm clothes and a good pair of hiking boots.
I’ll be at your house in twenty minutes.”
A
BOUT
AN
HOUR
later, I was riding shotgun in Gabe’s car as we headed out
farther and farther away from civilization.
“It’s not dangerous all the way out here, is it?” I asked.
“Not really.”
“What about bears?”
“It’s winter.” He grinned at me broadly. “They’re all asleep, Audrey.”
The road got more and more gritty, with stones jumping up and biting the
underside of the car. We were driving by a rocky mountain face when Gabe
slowed down and parked by the side of the road.
“We’re here,” he announced cheerfully.
We got out, and he popped the trunk, grabbed a backpack, and slung it over
his shoulders. He pulled out a pair of flashlights and handed one to me.
“So we’re going for a hike, I guess?”


“You guessed it.” He motioned to the top of the cliff face that loomed over us
at an impossible height. “We’re heading up there.”
My face fell. “Seriously? In the dark? What if we get lost?”
“We won’t; I’ve done this a thousand times. I’ll admit it’s a tough track, but it
will be worth it when we get up there.”
“Okay,” I said, still a little reluctant. “Lead the way.”
B
Y
THE
TIME
we made it near the top, I was struggling to catch my breath, and
my legs felt ready to give way. Gabe had just pushed off the last foothold to step
onto the summit, and he turned and stretched his hand out to me. “Almost
there.”
I grabbed his hand and, dipping into the last reserves of my energy, lunged
upward and over onto the rocky surface. “Wow!” I stammered, as my eyes drank
in the view before me. We were caught in that brief moment when the sun is
just on the cusp of the horizon; golden streams of light burst from its pale, soft
glow. Below us, the wilderness stretched on and on right out to the horizon, and
it was like we were the only two people in the world. “This is Ultima,” I said
under my breath and wished Rad was here to see this.
“What was that?” asked Gabe.
I shook my head. “I was just thinking out loud—the view here is spectacular.”
“It’s really something, isn’t it?”
He peeled off his backpack and sat down on a large, flat rock. I went to join
him. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a bright red thermos.
“Coffee?”
“Oh yes!” I said.
I watched as he carefully poured the coffee into plastic cups before passing one
to me. I took the cup from him and sipped the coffee slowly, feeling mildly
euphoric. Being in Gabe’s company made me feel at ease. It was hard to believe
we’d only met recently. I felt as though I had known him all my life.
“How often do you come out here?” I asked.
“Every chance I get. It’s been really busy at the garage lately, so I’ve been
helping my uncle out with extra shifts. But he made me take the day off today.”
“The two of you are close, aren’t you?”
Gabe grinned. “Yeah, we are. He’s a good guy. He’s always had my back.”
“How about your parents? Are they here in Delta?”
“No, in Denver. Dad’s a software engineer, and Mom teaches middle school.


Dad is still furious that I turned down my scholarship to Stanford, so I haven’t
been back home for a while.”
“Rosie told me about that. Why didn’t you go for it?”
“I suppose I just wanted to see the world a little before I made that kind of
commitment. Nothing more to it than that.” He took a sip of his coffee, his eyes
staring out at the horizon. “How about you?” He turned to look at me. “Did
you ever go to college?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t have the option because I kind of messed up my
exams.”
“Why? What happened?”
I took a deep breath and told him about my panic attack. “At the time, it was
like the end of the world, you know? But then, life just carried on, and I landed
this amazing position at 

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