Ielts Writing Task samples : Over 450 High-Quality Model Essays for Your Reference to Gain a High Band Score 0+ In Week (Box set)



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Essay

301 words
82


SAMPLE 12
Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best
academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward
students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own
opinion.
It is a widespread practice that prestigious awards should be given to brilliant
pupils. While some individuals say that students with the best score should
receive awards, I would argue that it would be better to encourage pupils who are
better day by day.
On the one hand, rewarding outstanding students would benefit not only in the
present but also in the future. Firstly, in the present, this action would foster the
competitive spirit of all students in school to win the award. After this cutthroat
competition, excellent pupils could make the most of the awards they received to
pursue tertiary education. Moreover, with the tiny number of the best students,
each school could allocate their resources to expenditure on priority things such
as infrastructure or improve the quality of teachers. Secondly, in the future, these
excellent students could achieve a huge success in their careers and become the
stars in the world of work. Then perhaps they would return to support their old
schools through philanthropic actions as scholarships for next generations.
On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial to spur students to be better
by awards. Firstly, in short-term, all students would endeavor to be rewarded and
never sit on their laurels, even with students who are having the best score in
school. It would make a dramatic change in education in which instead of “the
best” students, there are only “better” pupils. Secondly, in long-term, this action
would enhance the general quality of the whole workforce, which leads to nation’s
sustainable economic development.
This is not necessarily wrong but it would sound more natural to me if your main
argument were longer than the other one.
In conclusion, it seems to me that rewarding students who reveal their
progressive/ceaseless advancement would be better than solely give awards to
outstanding students.

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