Ielts model Essays Kindle

Comments
Band scores are given for task response, coherence and cohesion, lexis
(vocabulary) and grammatical range and accuracy. 

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This zoo essay would get a good score for task response as it fully answers
the question by discussing both opinions and giving a personal opinion.
Ideas are also well explained, extended and supported. 
It would get a good score for coherence and cohesion as it is organised
coherently and logically and is easy to follow. The introduction introduces
the topic then there is a thesis statement.
One body paragraph discusses one side of the argument, and the other
discusses the other side. The second body paragraph is also the writers
opinion, and this is summarised again in the conclusion
.There is some interesting vocabulary and phrases. For example:
sanctuary for endangered animals
under threat from humans
habitats are being destroyed

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poaching
produce offspring
successes in this respect
not meant to be caged
natural habitat
There are also some good complex grammatical constructions and the
grammar is precise. For example, the red words show that some of these
are 
adverbial clauses
,
noun clauses
 and 
relative clauses
:
Although some people are of the opinion that zoos can provide a
sanctuary for endangered animals...
...seen for example in the way that their habitats are being destroyed...
...the argument is that zoos can protect some of these animals who are
under threat.
...trained staff who can ensure the animals are looked after...
Pandas who have been endangered...
...even though some species are under threat...
...While it may be fun and educational...

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