I think many of us have been taught by society and our loved ones (as they were taught as well), that happiness, success, and fulfillment come from fitting into a certain societal mold

I think many of us have been taught by society and our loved ones (as they were taught as well), that happiness, success, and fulfillment come from fitting into a certain societal mold.More often than not success meant having a good job and making a good living from it. Be wary of being seduced into prematurely accepting some role that doesn’t have much to do with your nature or values.

I ran my family business for 11 years finally leaving after owning up to the fact that it didn’t truly interest me or feed my creative being. It wasn’t easy at first because I felt like I had the weight of society and my family pushing against me because I wasn’t abiding by its definition of success.

Since then I have come to realize that success isn’t defined by money, job status or keeping up with the Joneses. Success simply means that you are showing up, attempting to move forward and open to the self-growth process. In my book, if you do that you are a success.
Here is something I recently started doing that has helped me reframe my idea of success. All you need to do is get a jar or a can and every time you do something successfully, you write what it was on a slip of paper and put it in your jar. That’s it. I know you are probably asking me why you should have a success jar.

Well, it’s like this. I started doing it to remind me of all of the positive, successful things that I am doing that in the past I had overlooked. If you are anything like me, sometimes we forget and it can feel like we aren’t making much headway. It’s a way to keep my energy up and the positive vibes flowing. I put everything in there.

Showing up for Cross-Fit class, going to an audition, having a successful radio show, a great day of writing, an awareness in my self-growth process, stepping out of my comfort zone or even if I handled a situation well. They are all successes in my book and they go to the jar. What’s really cool is to pull some of the slips out from time to time and remind myself of successful moments that I had.
I have found it to be a really powerful tool and I hope you do as well. It’s an eye-opening exercise that will help you learn the real meaning of what success is!
Staying true to my core beliefs
Loyalty is one of my core values—loyalty to self and to others whom I respect. It’s important to me to gauge how many colleagues and customers come back and refer us to those who trust them. Being true to the mission of the organization and delivering superior experiences matter to me a lot.
Having the confidence to walk away from a client or colleague who’s diluting the equity in your brand is tough, but it’s necessary sometimes. You must always be authentic to the essence of your brand and surround yourself with people who reinforce your brand and its values–not tarnish it.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that for me, relationships matter. Quality encounters matter. Honesty matters. Consistency matters. Authenticity and integrity matter. The experience and the journey matter. Focus on what matters to you and get rid of things that don’t. Taking the clutter out of your mind and your life frees up space for more of what you value.

Success is very personal so your definition will be–and should be–different than mine. To me, growth for growth’s sake is meaningless, but profitable growth with interesting clients solving important problems is what keeps me engaged and excited.

The ability to spend time with people I love and care about is critical. My reputation really matters, and the positive word-of-mouth means a lot to me since almost all of our business comes by referral.

In my experience being brutally honest helps build trust and relationships with clients. No one likes being told their web site/name/tag line/materials are sub-par but sometimes it needs to be said.

I have been in meetings even ones where we are pitching new business and made comments about confusing copy, double entendres, broken links, poor navigation, etc. And although sometimes it will backfire in many instances they see the point and appreciate the candid feedback.

Sometimes a person will come up after and actually thank you for “being so honest” or saying what others have felt but were afraid to express.

The best example for me was when we were invited to submit an RFP for a large client (all the other firms invited were large agencies) and in our pitch we highlighted the fact that the document was poorly written and not very clear so could be interpreted various ways so that in fact instead of being one 6 figure engagement it could easily be interpreted to be 2 very large projects but we did not want to scare them off so assumed they meant the smaller scope.

The President of the company asked me to explain what I meant. He paused and said we were the only firm that mentioned it and he agreed and asked for a second proposal from us, we ended up winning the entire project and it is still the biggest engagement we have ever done in the history of my firm.