another John Wayne.”
“He is no John Wayne,” Mister Tribble say sourly, “he is a world-class
chess player.”
“Well all the better,” the feller say, “a
smart
big, strong, silent type.
Very unusual.”
“Ain’t as smart as I look,” I says, tryin to be honest, but the feller say
none
of that matters anyhow, cause actors ain’t sposed to be smart
or
honest or nothin like that—just be able to get up there an say they lines.
“My name’s Felder,” he says, “an I make movies. I want you to take a
screen test.”
“He has to play in a chess tournament tomorrow,” Mister Tribble say.
“He has no time for acting or screen tests.”
“Well, you could squeeze it in, couldn’t you? After all, it might be the
break you’ve been looking for. Why don’t you come along, too, Tribble,
we’ll give you a screen test as well.”
“We’ll try,” Mister Tribble say. “Now come along, Forrest, we have a
little more work to do.”
“See you later, baby,” say Mister Felder, “don’t forget now.”
An off we go.
The nex mornin is when the chess tournament
is bein helt out at the
Beverly Hills Hotel. Me an Mister Tribble is there early an he has me
signed up for matches all day.
Basically, it ain’t no big deal. It took me about seven minutes to whup
the
first guy, who was a regional master an also a professor in some
college, which made me secretly feel kind of good. I had beat a professor
after all.
Nex was a kid about seventeen, an I wiped him out in less than half a
hour. He thowed a tantrum an then commenced to bawlin an cryin an
his mama had to come drag him off.
They was all sorts of people I played that day an the nex, but I beat
em
all pretty fast, which was a relief since when I played against Big
Sam I had to keep settin there an not
go to the bathroom or nothin,
cause if I got up from the chessboard he would move the pieces aroun an
try to cheat.
Anyhow, by that time I had got my way into the finals an they was a
day’s rest in between. I gone on back to the hotel with Mister Tribble an
found a message to us from Mister Felder, the movie guy. It say, “Please
call my office this afternoon an arrange for a screen test tomorrow
morning,” an it give a telephone number to call.
“Well, Forrest,” Mister Tribble say, “I don’t know bout this. What do
you think?”
“I dunno either,” I says, but to tell the truth, it soun sort of excitin,
bein in the movies an all. Maybe I even
get to meet Raquel Welch or
somebody.
“Oh, I don’t suppose it would hurt anything,” Mister Tribble say. “I
guess I’ll call an set up an appointment.” So he call Mister Felder’s office
an be findin out when an where for us to go an all of a sudden he cup
his hand over the phone an say to me, “Forrest, can you swim?” An I
say, “Yup,” an he say back into the phone, “Yes, he can.”
After he done hung up, I axed why they want to know if I can swim,
an Mister Tribble say he don’t know, but he recon we will find out when
we get there.
The movie lot we gone to is a different place than the other one, an
we was met at the gate by a guard that took us to where the screen test
is bein helt. Mister Felder is there arguin with a lady that actually look
somethin like Raquel Welch, but when he seen me, he is all smiles.
“Ah, Forrest,” he say, “Terrific you came. Now what I want you to do
is go thru that door to Makeup and Costuming, and then they will send
you back out when they are finished.”
So I gone on thru the door an there is a couple of ladies stand in there
an one of em say, “Okay, take off your clothes.” Here I go again, but I do
as I am tole. When I get thru takin off my clothes, the other lady han me
this big blob of rubber-lookin clothes with scales an shit all over it an
funny-lookin webbed feet an hans. She say to put it on. It take the three
of us to get me in the thing but after bout a hour we manage. Then they
point me in the direction of Makeup an I is tole to set in a chair wile a
lady an a feller commence to jam down this big rubber mask over my
head an fit it to the costume an start paintin
over the lines where it
showed. When they is thru, they say for me to go back out to the movie
set.
I can hardly walk on account of the webbed feet an it is hard to get
the door open with a webbed han, but finally
I do an I suddenly find
mysef in a outdoor place with a big lake an all sorts of banana trees an
tropical-lookin shit. Mister Felder is there an when he seen me, he jump
back an say, “Terrific, baby! You is perfect for the part!”
“What part is that?” I axed, an he say, “Oh, didn’t I tell you? I am
doing a remake of
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