All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

parties is that it should not be that the boy is from a very rich 
family and the girl from a poor background or vice versa; or 
that the girl is well educated and the boy uneducated or vice 
versa. Compatibility between the spouses is extremely 
important. It is important for the boy’s family to consider the 
girl’s upbringing, her mother, sisters, etc.
After you have considered and made proper mashwera with 
relevant members of the families, you should make dua unto 
Allaah Ta`ala and ask Him to guide you to make the right 
decision. Once you have thought the matter out properly after 
placing all the facts in front of you, you should exercise one of 
your options. 
If Allaah Ta`ala wills, then certainly there will be goodness in 
your decision. The dua for mashwera is: 
ِ! ِ(َِا و يِ+,ُر َِِا ّا
ِ/0َ 1 َ, "
 
“O Allaah! Guide me to what is right and save me from the evil 
of my nafs.”
4). 
The fourth point is that you should make Istikhaara. 
There are a few pointers to consider when making Istikhaara. 
The Ulama-e-Haqq and buzrugs have mentioned that,
(a) 
There is no condition stated in the Hadith 
Shareef regarding performing the Nafl Salaat for 
Istikhaara at night or after Esha Salaat. One may 
perform the two Rakaats of Istikhaara Salaat at 
any time during the 24 hours of the day, besides 
the forbidden and Makrooh Salaat times. After 
having performed these two Rakaats, one may 
make the dua of Istikhaara. 

---

9
(b) 
An important point is that you should perform 
the Istikhaara Salaat yourself and not ask 
someone else to do it for you. People say that 
they are too sinful to perform the Salaat 
themselves. To such people we advise that they 
first make Taubah from all their sins, because 
Allaah Ta`ala forgives all sins, and thereafter 
they should perform their Istikhaara Salaat. This 
pleases Allaah Ta`ala. 
(c) 
Thirdly, is that one should not expect any reply 
to the Istikhaara to come in a dream. One needs 
merely 
to 
consider 
the 
surrounding 
circumstances regarding the matter at hand. If 
there are no barriers or opposing factors, then 
one should regard that to be in one’s best 
interests and go ahead and act on what one 
decides best. Here again, we need to remind that 
mashwera is more important and efficacious 
than Istikhaara. After having made Mashwera 
with the elders, one should go ahead and carry 
out what settles on the heart. If one cannot 
decide the matter, then Istikhaara Salaat may be 
performed again and again for up to seven times, 
until one gets some contentment. This can be 
done over seven days or even on one day, where 
one will perform 14 Rakaats of Nafl Salaat 
during that day, after which (every two Rakaats) 
the dua of Istikhaara will be read. This is the 
Sunnat method and every other method besides 
this should be abstained from. May Allaah 
Ta`ala bless all of us with the correct method of 
making Istikhaara. 
10
It is imperative to look for the following 
qualities in the prospective bride: 
(1) 
Deeni consciousness 
The first quality that a boy must look for in a 
prospective wife, is that she be Deen conscious. If the 
prospective bride is Deeni conscious, that is she fulfils 
all the laws of Allaah Ta`ala and leads her life in 
accordance to the Sunnah of Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) then, the marriage bodes well and there will 
be much blessings and affection between the spouses. 
This marriage will be paradise on earth, and the 
forthcoming offspring will be intelligent and pious.
When choosing a bride then this quality is the most 
important, in fact necessary for every Muslim man. 
Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, 
“Marry women 
for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, beauty and her 
Deen. But hold on to (i.e. choose) to her for her Deen.” 
[Mishkaat, Hadith no. 294 / Bukhaari / Muslim]
It is therefore imperative that every Muslim follow this 
advice of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). He 
should make the Deeni consciousness of his future bride 
his first priority. Right from the beginning he should 
make it clear to his family that he is seeking a girl who 
is pious, 
ba Purdah 
(girl who adorns hijaab) and one 
who is well versed in Qur’aan and Hadith, and that they 
should make dua and an effort to find such a partner for 
him. 

---

9
(b) 
An important point is that you should perform 
the Istikhaara Salaat yourself and not ask 
someone else to do it for you. People say that 
they are too sinful to perform the Salaat 
themselves. To such people we advise that they 
first make Taubah from all their sins, because 
Allaah Ta`ala forgives all sins, and thereafter 
they should perform their Istikhaara Salaat. This 
pleases Allaah Ta`ala. 
(c) 
Thirdly, is that one should not expect any reply 
to the Istikhaara to come in a dream. One needs 
merely 
to 
consider 
the 
surrounding 
circumstances regarding the matter at hand. If 
there are no barriers or opposing factors, then 
one should regard that to be in one’s best 
interests and go ahead and act on what one 
decides best. Here again, we need to remind that 
mashwera is more important and efficacious 
than Istikhaara. After having made Mashwera 
with the elders, one should go ahead and carry 
out what settles on the heart. If one cannot 
decide the matter, then Istikhaara Salaat may be 
performed again and again for up to seven times, 
until one gets some contentment. This can be 
done over seven days or even on one day, where 
one will perform 14 Rakaats of Nafl Salaat 
during that day, after which (every two Rakaats) 
the dua of Istikhaara will be read. This is the 
Sunnat method and every other method besides 
this should be abstained from. May Allaah 
Ta`ala bless all of us with the correct method of 
making Istikhaara. 
10
It is imperative to look for the following 
qualities in the prospective bride: 
(1) 
Deeni consciousness 
The first quality that a boy must look for in a 
prospective wife, is that she be Deen conscious. If the 
prospective bride is Deeni conscious, that is she fulfils 
all the laws of Allaah Ta`ala and leads her life in 
accordance to the Sunnah of Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) then, the marriage bodes well and there will 
be much blessings and affection between the spouses. 
This marriage will be paradise on earth, and the 
forthcoming offspring will be intelligent and pious.
When choosing a bride then this quality is the most 
important, in fact necessary for every Muslim man. 
Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, 
“Marry women 
for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, beauty and her 
Deen. But hold on to (i.e. choose) to her for her Deen.” 
[Mishkaat, Hadith no. 294 / Bukhaari / Muslim]
It is therefore imperative that every Muslim follow this 
advice of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). He 
should make the Deeni consciousness of his future bride 
his first priority. Right from the beginning he should 
make it clear to his family that he is seeking a girl who 
is pious, 
ba Purdah 
(girl who adorns hijaab) and one 
who is well versed in Qur’aan and Hadith, and that they 
should make dua and an effort to find such a partner for 
him. 

---

11
Every Muslim man should understand this Islaam is that 
single religion that teaches a girl to fulfil the rights of 
her husband, in-laws, in fact the rights of all the family 
members and even the rest of mankind, and also 
animals. This Deen also teaches her to save herself from 
backbiting, lies, evil thoughts, treachery, immodesty 
etc, so that the train of life may continue smoothly. 
Deen is what saves her from fulfilling evil and satanic 
desires. 
Deen is that helper wherewith she nurtures her children 
with good character and sound morals. 
The object of Nikah is mutual understanding, affection, 
peace, contentment and a true bond of friendship. It is a 
fact and certainty that the Deen plays the most major